In My Art

Chapter 8- The Friendly Kind

Song- Woodland by The Paper Kites

…/…

This will be the first time I’m grateful that the class is this empty. Only a few people can be spotted seated at the front. Some are probably trying to finish up the group assignment that was assigned to us a week earlier.

“So, last night was definitely not weird,” I said, facing Bryan. He had called in the middle of the night, asking for the name of the person I was with outside and saying that he didn’t feel fine because he was scared I wasn’t safe. It was definitely a lot to take in, given that it was in the middle of the night.

“Char, I told myself I was going to apologize to you this morning. I was just really worried that something would happen to you. I didn’t know the guy you were talking to. You had never mentioned him before until yesterday and it was almost midnight, so yeah, I care. Maybe I should’ve waited till this morning before projecting my feelings”.

“Yeah, you should’ve”. He sighs and then goes on saying, “My girl bestfriend at home was in this kind of situation and it was my fault that she got into whatever happened after. No matter what anyone tells me. They keep saying I couldn’t have known, but I would always blame myself for the situation because if I had been there, she would’ve been safe. That doesn’t matter right now, I am sorry. I truly am”.

The lecturer strolls into the class the second he apologizes and we’re forced to sit straight, facing the interactive board. Throughout the class, I couldn’t help but think of what Bryan said. “He has a girl best friend?” The voice in my mind couldn’t shut up for a minute without shouting that.

Maybe they aren’t best friends anymore, considering that he’s just mentioning her now. Or is he trying to say, I’m his best friend? Is that what we’re doing here? Best friends? I’ll admit I have feelings for him, but that’s only because I thought he felt the same way.

We can’t just be best friends. He has done and said way too much to prove that there’s something more. The voice rambles on and on, I can successfully say that I learned nothing in the class and there was no way I was going to have the talk with Bryan without meeting the girls first.

…/…

“I’m telling you guys, it was a whole thing”. They all stare at me wide-eyed, including Ian. “Wait, he did say his reason for going bat-s**t crazy,” Lexie says. They all nod in agreement. The expression on their faces showed that what he did was okay as long as he explained the reason.

“Don’t get sidetracked here guys, we still have two matters of varying importance to discuss”. “So, mystery guy, how was he?” Jane asks

“He’s good, maybe even finer”. “Stay focused!” Lexie shouts. “I am focused, I just felt this level of comfort and ease with him yesterday that I haven’t felt in a long while. It was natural, nothing there was forced and the banter was interesting. His word game is amazing, y’all should meet him some time”.

“Yeah, right, when you know his name and what exactly his intentions are with you,” Lexie says. I could tell that Lexie is full-on Team Bryan with everything she has been saying and her stance from the very first time I sought her opinion on something concerning Bryan.

“I know his intentions, at least I think I do”. “And that is…” Ian says. “He just wants to be my friend, I think. He definitely flirts with me, but it’s just the friendly kind. I don’t think there’s anything more to it, even though I want there to be,” I explained.

“At least, you know Bryan’s intentions with you.” ID says, with her legs on Ian’s lap. “That’s the thing, I don’t think I know that anymore”. Lexie whips her head so fast in my direction and Jane says, “What does that even mean? What is wrong with men?”

The way she shouts gives me the vibe that everything wasn’t going too well with Ty. “Jane, are you and Ty good?”

“Honestly, I don’t even know. I’m tired of going to his room and watching him play games with Zach. He acts like a child so much and I just don’t know if I want to be with someone that doesn’t know what he wants or that still acts like that”.

The Tyler she describes sounds so different from the Tyler I used to know and the plans he used to have. “He hasn’t even asked me out on a proper date”. Ian gasps, making all of us turn our faces to him. “Too much, babe,” ID says. “Yeah, okay,” he replied.

“I’m sorry about you and Tyler,” Lexie says, and then I move to hug her and she does the whole fake crying bit, then she says, “I’ll be fine guys, but why don’t you know Bryan’s intentions?”

“He mentioned something about a best friend and I don’t know if I want to be with someone that has a female best friend, I can’t handle that right now”. “That’s right, I told this one from the first date that I’m his best friend and I better not see anyone else come close,” ID says. “And no one has even dared to,” Ian replied.

“I don’t think anyone can,” I said, very much aware of ID’s ability to scare people off. “Anyways, he also referred to the situation as though I was his best friend”. Now they all gasp, except for Ian. “Oh, this is when y’all gasp”. “Keep up,” Lexie replied, with the same expression on her face.

“Yeah, and it sucked because I couldn’t stop thinking about it, but the thing is, he’s asked me on a date before, a while back, but I kind of told him it was too soon”. “Oh yeah, I remember,” Lexie says.

“s**t! Char, he’s probably bestfriend zoned you because you weren’t showing that you wanted to go on a date with him,” Ian says. “But that’s not true, we talk every day and we see each other almost every day. I give him that much attention, so what more could he possibly want from me?”

“You’re going to have to have 'the' talk with him,” Jane says. “Now? Don’t you think it’s too soon?” I said, wanting to avoid bringing up the conversation. “If you don’t do it now, it’ll just suck a lot more for you because if it goes any deeper than this and you have feelings for him completely without confirming where you stand, it’ll hurt more than a breakup”.

I couldn’t help but think about what Jane said. “I don’t think I’m ready to go through another break-up-like situation,” I said, after keeping quiet for a while. “Yeah? Then go talk to him,” Lexie says. “Okay, I’ll do just that”. I listened to them cheer me on as I walked into my room to get my coat.

“Alright, wish me luck, guys”. “You’d better tip it in your favor if you don’t want to come back here still single like Jane,” ID says. Jane gasps and says, “You did not just say that. Take it back!”

I watched Jane grab a pillow to hit ID’s face and I paused to watch the full pillow fight manifest before leaving the suite. I was lucky to have them as my suitemates first, then my friends.

…/…

The walk to Bryan’s dorm is really depressing as different kinds of thoughts penetrate my mind for no reason or as they would put it, ‘good will messages’. I can’t help but think of the fact that I could be making a mistake.

Mid-semester exams are just around the corner and I don’t know if I’d be able to handle a rejection or misunderstanding. It could leave me overthinking for days, but at the same time, if I don’t get this clarity, I could still be stuck overthinking, and that would just make everything go downhill from there, because I’d most likely be avoiding Bryan.

I stopped in my tracks, took my phone out, and dialed the only person that I knew would give me the best advice. Dan picks up the call and I find myself going on and on about everything, not like he hadn't been in the loop since the beginning, but this was a whole new drama.

I didn’t allow Dan to speak till I was done explaining and, luckily for me, he didn’t interrupt. “You know, I think your suitemates are right, you should definitely talk to him, especially because it’s bothering you this much, but I don’t think you should talk to him when you’re like this.

You sound like everything is mixed up in your head and I want you to speak clearly when talking to him, not out of your emotions. Maybe take a walk for a little while to clear your head, then you can go talk to him”.

I’m smiling on the call because I can see the perfect place to clear my head, just down the road. Long time no paint.