In My Art

Chapter 3- Colors On Ice

Song- Emigrate by Novo Amor

…/…

“What’s wrong, guys?” I ask, hoping that they don’t know him for any bad reason. Dan wasn’t always successful, he had a rough past. “Oh, he’s done absolutely nothing wrong, except that HE’S HOT!!”

“He’s so pretty, my eyes are burning,” ID says. “Oh, you guys can’t be serious”. “Yes ID, you can't be serious, back off, you have a boyfriend”. “That I might as well dump for this hot stuff right here”. “If anyone has a chance to flirt with him, it should be me”. “What happened to not being ready to mingle, huh!?”

This back and forth was quickly becoming a ‘just them’ thing. “Guys! Guys!” They stop bickering and look at me for a second, saying, “What?”

“He has a girlfriend”. “So?” they say simultaneously again, scaring me. “How about this, I’m not giving anyone his number. When he comes over to say hi, the most courageous person of you two can go ask him for it”. They look at each other and smile, then say, “Deal!”

I don’t even know why ID is in this competition, maybe to get Jane all pumped up. “Alright then, now that you two have calmed down, I got the box of donuts for you guys…” The door swings open and a girl walks in. The first thing she does is blow her hair with air from her mouth and blink twice.

“Hi, the name’s Lexie, and I’m your fourth roommate”. We all stare at her, probably wondering how someone of her build and aura got stuck with the name, Lexie. Jane is the first to recollect herself, she walks forward to shake her and then says, “Welcome to the suite”.

Lexie nods and then turns around to drag her stuff inside the suite. Jane helps her in the process. When Lexie turns, I can see a nice view of the back of her hair. It’s shaved but still has pink highlights that can also be seen in the front of her hair.

Lexie is just like ID in terms of being hot, but ID is a bit shorter and Lexie may just be completely masculine. ID will put on a dress if she has to but Lexie looks like she has the ‘no dresses’ policy hanging over her head.

“I love your haircut,” I managed to say after a while of feeling completely intimidated by her presence. “Thanks, I was wondering if any of the two of you could speak or not”. I smile and before I know it, ID is walking forward to introduce herself.

I’m taken aback considering the first question ID asked upon seeing me was if I was mentally unstable. “I don’t know if you can tell but we’re going to be amazing friends, plus I’m the coolest one here,” ID says. “Oh, really?” Jane says from behind her.

“Well, would you look at that? ID is in love,” I say, knowing fully well that when the time comes, I am going to pay for that statement. She rolls her eyes at me. “Okay guys, Donuts in the box, Lexie, you are welcome to have some. I will be going to my room now to end my two-year relationship with my boyfriend”.

I heard a series of “Good luck and don’t cry too much” as I shut the door to my room.

…/…

“Hey, Tim”. “Hey, it took you long enough”. “What’s that supposed to mean? I just got to school yesterday and I had to unpack and then attend my first class today”. “Of course you did, and there was no time you could call me or text me to say hi”.

“Tim, there are two people in this relationship, why didn’t you text me to check up on me or something? Why didn’t you call?”

He doesn’t reply and then we stay silent on the call for another ten minutes.

“Look, you know what, this is pointless. There’s no use trying to take this slowly if you’re just going to hate me in the end. You think everything is my fault but you’re at fault too”. “We can settle this amicably”.

“No! We can’t. I’m sorry Tim, but I’m done”. “You can’t be done, I’m sorry”. “I’m sorry too, but I can’t do this anymore. You don’t trust me, so what’s the point?”

“I trust you now, I do”. A sob tries to break through but I hold it in. “No, you don’t. You never trusted my coming to TSC in the first place. You’ve always been scared and I was always wondering what you were scared of. It was like you chose not to know me anymore. You just decided that I’d be a TS girl and I’d forget all about you and I don’t think having a long-distant relationship that is this unhealthy is what I need right now”.

I hold my mouth so I don’t end up crying out loud. “I always knew this would happen by the way. I was kind of expecting it and I was right”. “You don’t get it. I knew you wouldn’t. You know what? There’s absolutely no use explaining again. Bye Tim!”

I hung up and threw away my phone. Luckily, it landed on the edge of the bed. I looked at it for a while, then I started crying all over again. I grabbed a pillow and screamed at it. I just didn’t want to be the bad person so badly and Tim would most definitely change the whole narrative for our friends back home.

I grab my art bag and leave the room. I see ID, Jane, and Lexie huddled up in Lexie’s room, talking. “Hey, are you okay?” Jane asks as soon as she spots me. “Yeah, I’ll be right back, I just need to uhm, yeah”. “No problem, take your time,” she responds. I nodded and headed out, finding my way to the art building.

…/…

I couldn’t stop the tears that were rolling down my face all the way to the Art Building. “ART SPACE” I read out loud, as that was the inscription on the building. I push open the door but it doesn’t budge. I tried again, and still, nothing. The thought of me coming out here for nothing makes me cry again.

I would’ve loved nothing more than to actually paint in my room, but I hadn’t gotten all my equipment and my credit card isn’t even with me right now, so I can’t get it still. I find a place to sit by the corner of the steps and just cry all over again.

I know not a lot of things have happened since the breakup, but it seemed like nothing was going to be fine for a very long time and that sucked. I wondered how Tim must be feeling. I mean, was he even sorry?

My thought process is cut short when I hear, “Hey, Freshman”. I looked up to see a young man of average height standing in front of me, with art supplies in his hands. His skin is brown and it glows in the sun like chocolate. The most perfect skin texture I have ever seen. His hair is short but it’s a clean cut. It then dawned on me that I had been staring at him for a while.

“Hi,” I managed to say to him. “How did you know…?” “Are you okay?” he asks when he notices the dried tear marks on my face. I believe I asked a question first. “Hmm Brave, I like it,” he says instead. “I know you’re a Freshman because you don’t know the time or day, the Art Space opens. It’s not supposed to be open today”.

“Oh,” I said. “Now will you answer my question?” “Oh yeah, I’m good. Sorry, I’ll just come back another time”. “I mean, you could still use the Art Space for a short while, I’m supposed to drop these inside and you really look like you want to paint”.

I weigh my options and then, I nod. “Thank you”. “No problem”. There I was, about to enter an art building with a guy I had just met some minutes ago, but for some reason, it felt right.

He opens the door to the building, leads me inside, and shows me a section of the building that probably had all the resources in the world. I start painting immediately, not a second to waste. All the emotions were just inside of me, pent-up frustration that needed to be released and probably interpreted as colors on ice.

After a few minutes, I didn’t even see this young man whose name I still do not know behind me. “Whoa! Easy girl”. I don’t say anything to him and then he says, “You sure you still don’t want to tell me why you were crying outside or is it something too personal?”

I don’t say anything for about five minutes and he doesn’t push me. “I just broke up with my boyfriend and he thinks I’m a terrible person, and I also think I’m a terrible person”. At that time, tears were already falling from my eyes again.

He pulls me in and wraps his arms around me and I just felt safe right there. He doesn’t say anything to me and I’m grateful for that. So, we stayed there in that position, his hands stroking my hair and my tears soaking his shirt.