Be Damned

Your new Beginning

"WAKE UP! wake up, wake up!"

An annoyingly and repetitive screech came harping at me in my sleep almost in a singing like manner. 

I rolled over to see my sorority sisters Catherine and Anita standing by my bed side. In Catherine's hand was two large Rose colored balloons a 2 and 1. In Anita hands, she held a single vanilla cupcake with what I assumed was strawberry flavored icing. 

"Happy Birthday!" they each shouted at the top of their lungs.  I rolled over to my left side, grabbed my pillow and covered my head. 

"Go away." I grumbled under my breath. Hoping they'd heed my warning and take off.

Catherine yanked back my blankets causing my legs to immediately crunch up towards my chest.

"Wake up Miss Walker" she playfully skipped her fingers along my arm." Someone needs to get up, get dressed and go out for about hmmm five hours, give or take."

An instant shock of terror shot straight through me.

"No!" 

"What?" Catherine flashed me one of her award prize winning smiles, the same one that likely won her the title Miss Teen USA 2010.  "Anita and I have decided you needed a quick girls day out, with mani-pedis facials maybe some new clothes."

"You're not  throwing me a party." I scowled at the both of them.

"You're right . We're not." Catherine gave me a slow wink.

"No I mean it, I better not hear so much as a Ha when I walk down those stairs." The thought of hearing happy birthday, or seeing a giant cake with candles, friends and plenty of alcohol may excite most people, but not me. 

For as long as I can remember I've dreaded birthdays. Not all,  just mines. 

"Can anyone please tell why we celebrate getting older? Getting grayer, hard of hearing then eventually immobile till we finally meet death?" I looked back and forth between the two of them, hoping one would give me a logical explanation. 

Anita simply shrugged her shoulders and placed the cupcake down on my night stand.

"It's the circle of life" she responded.

"Yes and we're meant to commemorate every glorious milestone." Catherine ripped back the yellow, brown and pink polka dotted curtains to allow the gleaming break of daylight engulf every crevice and corner of our room.

 Catherine's side always reminded me of a prom queens bedroom. It was filled with stuffed animals, crown, trophies and pictures of friends and family. Some of them with her out to the beach sporting a beautiful two piece splashing her little in the water, others with her on vacation in Rome with Mario, her loving and devoted boyfriend who goes to school overseas and she gets to see twice a year. In this particular frame he's pretending to piggyback ride on her while they hold up the leaning tower of Pisa. It was obnoxiously cute. Over her head board was her name in pink letters on 12 inch wooded blocks she hung up with nails. I always swore some day they'd fall on her head while she was sleeping and give her a concussion.  Her sheets were pink and white with little dancing snow cones of vanilla and chocolate. Her pillows a fluffy faux material in the shades of pink and white as well with a matching throw rug. Honestly her life reminded me of the kind you see in one of those high school movies. Where the popular girl gets everything and is just perfect and sunshine and lollipops. As revoltingly sick as it made, she really was one of the sweetest people you could ever meet and only wanted the best for anyone she came across.

Anita wasn't as sweet as Catherine or grungy as myself. She was the balance between us both. Being sure to keep her bed side neutral, except during the holidays when she was reasonably festive. She changed her sheets and decorations practically every other month. Since it was almost June and the last weeks before summer break and graduation, she had her bed spread  made up in the colors for summer.  Mandarin orange, turquoise and  lemon yellow. The sheets were a painting of your typical day the beach. Golden sand with waves crashing to the shore and the sun in its radiant shine was reflecting off the water. On her bed was a dolphin, seagull and crab plushy that she collected and often changed along with her bedding.  Her bedside was decorated in seashells frames, little nets and a lighthouses that was actually a lamp. Next to her bed was a single picture of her and her mom an ex Zeta sister herself. Only she had seen better days in the photo. Sporting a pink bandana on her head while lying in her hospital bed with Anita leaning over the bed rail to capture the smile that was in her mothers heart. It was lung cancer she told me. Her mom was offered a gig straight out of college back in the early 80's to be the Crimson cigarette sponsor. She often ended up smoking 3 packs on set alone.  Then another 5 at home and 2 more while out doing promotions and working the room at parties.  Before she could even process her grief, her father was out the door stating it was going to be to difficult to raise a child and take care of a sick woman. It sounded like bs because it was. Though Anita often said it was the best thing that ever happened to them. Her mother wound up meeting a Paul, a man diagnosed with prostate cancer and soon became her mothers best friend and a wonderful step father. 

"Now we need to get you into something sultry and seductive." Catherine clicked her teeth and walked over to my closet, moving hangers of clothing around. "Anita love, be a dear and check her drawers." she requested of her.

"Um- hello, I can dress myself if you must know."  I bayed.

 Getting out of bed I grabbed the clothes from Catherine's hands .  Then walked over to Anita and closed my bottom draw. 

"I do not want a party, I don't want to get dressed, I don't want a mani-pedi or facials or Swedish massages."

"Ooh massages" Catherine giggled and gave Anita an amorous smile, who was now sitting cross legged on my bed." Good idea Morgana didn't know you had it in you."

"Don't call me that?" I scuffed. I hated the name Morgana more than I hated the name of the woman that gave it to me. " Look all year long I'm cheery and joyful and be all go Zeta go with you guys, but my birthday is the one day that I ask that is off limits. 

"And normally we would feel obligated to obey and respect that one request, but let's face it. You're 21 and this is it for us, the last bit of fun before we meet the real world and we're off on our own. You got to live this moment up. Especially since you're the first one of us to turn 21 and we don't know if or when we'll have time to get together in the near future to celebrate." 

Catherine poured out her heart into a compelling argument and the part I hated most was she right.  These girls were not only my friends, but my sisters as well. And after this month we'd be college graduates and then likely nothing more than fond memories to each other. Passing thoughts now and again when we looked back at old photos. Telling our new friends, co-workers and spouses about the time one of us took Tequila shots off of some random hot guys bod or the time when another of us convinced each other we needed to get matching tattoos. Little bees around our ankles pollinating lavender flowers with a drop of Honey dripping off a petal.  Anita asked why I chose that particular look, and to this day I still have no idea why.

"She's got a point." Anita chimed in playing with the single wolf plushie that I had on my bed. "Right after graduation I start my internship at DNA-tel. I won't be free for months."

"And I'll be on a plane to Spain to see Mario, we're gonna spend a little Quality time before my agent starts booking my modeling gigs again." 

"What was the point of going to school for agricultural science if you were just gonna model?" I quizzically inquired.

"Ever heard of a back up plan?" Catherine turns back around and starts shifting through my closet again. "So what are we putting you in for the Not-surprise-Birthday party?"

"Nothing." I answered

"Oooh kinky." she responded with a raised eye brow and devilish smirk.

"I meant nothing in there, nympho" I chuckled. " If this is gonna be our last big party. Then we need to go shopping." 

"Yes! Halleluiah" Catherine raised her hands in the air " To my church we go."

"Lutheran Calvary?"

"What god no, I meant the mall. I praise Giovanni not Jesus "

"You're going to hell for that" Anita joked.

"Hmm as long as the devil has Prada RSVP me ."   She put on a  pair of sunglasses from the top of my closet and started to vouge. " Anyways we need to get you out of here for a few hours while the rest of our soros not set up for the best night of our lives." 

I grabbed my hello kitty towel and headed for the door to take my shower." Oh and if this day turns out to be as shitty as I think it will. Consider yourselves in my Damned book."

     Outside on the campus grounds, the yard was scattered with students from all walks of life and activities.  Throwing frisbees, playing guitars, your cuddlers and watchers, study-holics and sleepers. All being their best alter-egos selves. 

"Oh my god, can you imagine in a few weeks we'll be saying goodbye to all of this?" Catherine pouted. 

"You never came outside, you said it was for the birds and those that couldn't function behind a screen" I recanted.

"I still feel that way, doesn't mean I'm won't miss it." 

As we started down the steps towards the quad a funny feeling followed by a chill started to envelope my body and I couldn't help but shake.

"You cold babe?" Anita looked me over " The hairs on your arms are starting to stand up" She reached for my arm and gave it a slight touch.

"I'm fine, just got a sudden chill." I rubbed my hands across me arms. 

"In this weather?" Catherine looked up. It was indeed warm today 90 degrees at 10 am and rising with  no clouds in sight. 

Without any acknowledgement two gentleman brushed past me coming down the steps with no more than a brush of air.

"Um, hello." Anita called out to them " You don't just bum rush someone and not say excuse me."

"Leave it be."  I told her.

"No, A is right. We promised you a great 21st birthday and we're not going to let these two ASSHOLES start if off wrong." Catherine made sure she was heard loud and clear.

The two strangers turned around. Both handsome and very easy on the eyes. One was tall with shoulder length dirty blonde hair, light eyes almost yellow. Standing about 6'4 with a godly physique under his Amour navy blue T shirt and grey shorts. The other one was short, he had wavy white hair with an undercut. He stood maybe 5'8 with what I assumed was also a good physique underneath his well covered body of jeans and long jacket. But what stood out to me was his eyes. They were a beautiful almond shape of grey/blue and could make any woman melt upon first look.  

The shorter one made his way up the steps back towards me. When he was just close enough he bent down, took my hand in his and kissed it without breaking eye contact..

"Forgive me kitten, I didn't see you there."