The Wordless Her

Suffering Alone?

Weber Residence - Samantha's place.

It’s been weeks since their class started, but Sam still being bothered with some stuff in mind even before their summer break started. Many of their attendants are worried while recently seeing her busy with some sort of things, because aside from being the right hand of her mom in running their family businesses, she recently started keeping herself busy about a piece of information she found out unintentionally that consumes her peaceful mind.

Calling.... Camille +(63) XXXX-XXX

"Hello Camille!" Sam said over the phone while taking a hot cup of chocolate drink at their house screened porch alone.

" Oh?" sagot ni Camille.

" Hmmmh..."

" Go ahead." utos ni Camille.

" Are you busy?"

" Currently trying my new paint brushes - the one Tessa recommended." sagot ni Camile while trying to set things up.

" I see, I'm really wondering how come a painter like her ended up being a home caretaker instead..." mahinang saad nito while playing her drinks.

" Well, I asked her that question and she said that it was Shimitzu's grandpa who taught her how to paint and supported her to earn from it... " sagot naman ni Camille habang inihahanda na ang iba pang kailangan.

" He's truly a wonderful old man..." dugtong ni Sam.

" I agree...anyway – bat ka napatawag ngayon?" tanong naman ni Camille.

" Huh? "

" Say it. " utos ni Camille habang nagsisimula na magpaint.

" Cam, say it. " seryosong saad naman ni Sam.

Napahinto naman sa ginagawa si Camille sa narinig.

" What do you mean?" she asked and wondering what she meant.

Hindi naman sya sinagot ng kausap.

" Sam? Are you still there?”

" Joke lang! Ito naman hindi mabiro... wala ko magawa kaya ako napatawag. Hehehe! "

" Hmmmh, bat hindi si Shimitzu ang tinawagan mo?"

" Well, she might be... busy?"

That's when Camille thought about what Sam meant.

"... Maybe, well anything else? " she asked trying to chaage the subject.

" No - that's all, I'll see you at school! " masayang paalam ni Sam.

" Are you sure?" Camille asks because she can't also help it.

Napangiti naman si Sam sa narinig.

" Yes.” sagot ni Sam.

" I- I see, Okay."

" Good night! "

" Sam wait, don't forget about our art project that needs to be submitted tomorrow. "

" Opo Ate... " pang-aasar ni Sam na sagot.

" Ya!" sigaw ni Camille.

" Alright, byeeeee." paalam ni Sam and ended the call.

The smile on Sam's lips was gone right after she ended the call, when a man in a black suit came in and hand her over an envelope.

" As you requested, most of it were taken 3 months ago before your summer break started."

Sam was entirely emotionless while checking it individually.

" Good, you can leave." utos ni Sam.

" Please don't stay up too late tonight."

Ngunit hindi sya nito pinansin at abalang nakatitig parin sa hawak-hawak.

The next morning...

Maaga umalis ng mansion si Sam at nagmamadaling pinatakbo ang sasakyan nito. Nagtaka ang ilang mga tauhan ng mansion ngunit hindi naman nabahala ang Ina. Makikitang alam niyang may inaasikaso ang anak at nais niya lang hayaan na muna ito at maghintay nalamang kung kelan siya kakailanganin ng dalaga.

Makalipas ng ilang sandali ay nagtaka ang lahat ng makitang bumalik din agad si Sam. Ito'y nagmamadaling bumababa ng sasakyan na kung saan ay hindi niya nagawang mai-park ng maayos ang gamit at mabilis na tumakbo patungo ng kusina ng mansion.

Pagpasok ay agad inilabas ang lunch box na dala at naghalungkat ng mga drawer nila. Pinipilit siyang tanungin ng mga tauhan kung ano ang nais at kailangan, ngunit parang wala itong naririnig.

“Let her be…” saad ng Ina habang pinagmamasdan ang anak.

“Yes Madam.”

Agad nagliwanag ang mukha ng dalaga ng makita ang hinahanap.

"This is good…” she said while smiling.

She started packing another bigger lunch box this time and without her noticed she ended up saying “yes “to Gil (One of her butlers) who asked if he could send her to school instead.

Sa harap ng school ay nakita ni Sam na sabay dumating si Shimitzu at si Camille kaya nagmadaling hinabol ang mga ito.

" Heeeey!! Hey! Wait for me! " sigaw ng masayang si Sam.

Agad naman tumigil ang mga ito ng makilala ang tumawag.

"Ohhh, it's her. The loud her, at nakakapagtakang nagpahatid ka ata ngayon? " tanong ni Camille tyaka nilingon ang kakaalis na sasakyan.

Inabutan naman agad ito ng tissue ni Shimitzu ng makitang basa ito sa pawis.

" Ahhh, Oo… nasiraan ako. Hehehe." pagsisinungaling nito habang nakahawak sa dalawang tuhod at naghahabol ng hininga.

Inilapit naman uli ni Shimitzu ang tissue sa kaibigan dahil mukhang hindi siya nito napansin.

" Oh, thanks! I’m sorry. hehehe. Tara na?" saad ni Sam.

During their Art subject.

" Camille... Can you tell us anything about your artwork today?" tanong ng teacher sa dalagang nakatitig sa sarili nitong painting.

Lumapit naman si Sam to also check it herself.

"Hmmh. It looks unfinished to me…and DARK." comment ni Sam habang bitbit ang sariling gawa at sabay nilingon si Shimitzu na kung saan abalang inihahanda rin ang artwork na ginawa.

Agad naman itong nakatanggap ng masamang tingin kay Camille dahil sa narinig nitong kumento ng kaibigan. Doon naman sumingit ang teacher nilang pinagmamasdan si Sam.

" Ehem… Sam, would you mind going back to your sit first? We’ll talk about yours later." saad ng Teacher nila.

"Sure Sir! " wika nito habang nginitian ang kaibigan na may pang aasar.

" So, Camille what's the story behind it?"

Nagsimula naman ng nakaga-agaw ng pansin ang artwork ni Camille matapos makita ang gawa nito.

“I think Sam is right, it looks unfinished and a little scary also…” bulong ng ilan.

“The woman is in great pain…right?” saad ng iba.

“Who that might be? Maybe she was inspired by a certain book or a movie…” sagot ng isa.

Doon naman na kumilos ang teacher nila upang kunin ang attention ng mga nakatayong estudyante niya na pinagkakaguluhan na ang gawa ni Camille.

“Everyone, please keep quiet. Camille, please proceed.” utos ng guro.

"Thanks Sir. Honestly, with the concept I had in mind gave me a hard time achieving the mood I wanted...” Camille said while still staring at her work.

“I see…and then?” saad ng guro.

“Yeah...until I decided to turn it to ink painting this morning Sir." sagot ni Camille.

"This MOOORNING?!" singit naman uli ni Sam, sabay tingin sa painting nya na halos isa o dalawang linggo nyang tinapos sa hirap niyang makaisip ng concept.

" Camille, please proceed..." dugtong ng teacher nila sabay lingon kay Sam na may pagbabantang manahimik na muna.

"So yes, here's what I ended up having - I called it " FORBIDDEN " – pain of not being free... and wish you'd never existed.” paliwanag ni Sam at naupon na.

The painting is a half body portrait of a broken woman. There are hands that covered her crying eyes, bleeding ears and half stitched mouth, while handing her beating heart over to something unrecognizable..., because again as Sam mentioned it looks unfinished... there are visible brushstrokes and lines of underdrawings but still can’t recognized it.

“That’s hard…” bulong ng ilan.

“Exactly…Like you just wanted to give your life to someone who can freely live. “ saad naman ng isa.

"I agree, the painting is like speaking... you can hear it say, " Be my eyes, be my hears, be my words and live... since I can't." seryosong paliwanag ng nakatulalang si Sam na siyang nagpatahimik din ng buong klase.

Doon naman makikita ang biglang pamamasa ng mata ni Camille.

" Why do you look unsatisfied?" dugtong na tanong ng teacher nila matapos makita ang expression sa mukha ni Camille.

She just simply smiled and couldn't think of a word to say, until suddenly Shimitzu appeared and commented.

" Are we not sometimes more attracted to the unfinished version?" she said.

Ilan sa mga kaklase nila ay nabigla rin ng si Shimitzu ay narinig magsalita, ngunit sila din ay bahagyang napaisip sa sinabi nito at ang ilan ay sumang-ayun din.

"She's right... there are many well-known paintings that were left unfinished also, like the work of Leonardi Da Vinci " The Adoration of the Magi. " pagpapaliwanag ng teacher nila at doon na ito nagsimulang ibahagi ang kwento ng ilan pang kilalang mga pintor na may ganitong klaseng likha.

Lumapit naman si Shimitzu kay Camille upang ipakita dito ang kanyang suporta.

" Mitzu... " wika ni Camille na napaayos pa ng upo ng makita ito.

Sa paglapit niya ay ipinatong nito ang kamay sa balikat ng kaibigan at bumulong,

" It was excellent and thank you for letting us see the story beyond its surface Camille.” and ended her statement with a very soft smile telling her that she's able to capture the message of her artwork.

" Then tell me, is she still... suffering alone? Does she still wish she never existed? ", she asked while smiling sadly.

" Not anymore... " she answered and pats her friend's head.

Agad iniiwas ni Sam ang tingin ng mabasa nito ang mga labi ng dalawa sa naging maikling pag uusap.

LUNCH TIME

Napatayo si Sam ng makita si Shimitzu na tumayo sa inuupuan nito.

" Mitzu's leaving!" wika ni Sam kay Camille sabay habol dito habang bitbit ang lunch box.

" She's going to the library! " sigaw ni Camille dito.

" I know, but we'll see you at the cafeteria, Okey?! Look for a good spot! " sigaw nito habang sumisingit - singit sa hallway.

Camille audibly sighed and decided to get her things ready too, but suddenly wondered why Sam had a huge packed lunch today.

" Hayaan na nga lang... " bulong nalang nito at agad inayos ang gamit at umalis.

Sa hallway papunta ng Library ay naroon ang naghahabol ng hiningang si Sam dahil biglang nawala sa paningin nya ang kaibigan.

" She must be here..." wika ni Sam.

Unfortunately, she failed to find her in the library and was advised that she haven't visited the place yet.

" Haaay... asan ba sya nagpunta sa oras na ito? " bulong niya.

Hindi agad nagdesisyon umalis ni Sam at naglibot na muna ito dahil nagbabakasali na naroon lang si Shimitzu. Makailang sandali at sa wakas ay nakita niya na ito sa bandang likuran ng library and when she's about to get her attention - she saw her with someone. Hindi niya ito makita ng maigi dahil nasa likod ito ng isang poste ng building. Nagdesisyon siyang magtago na muna din, dahil nabigla siya ng makitang nililinis ng taong ito ang nakatagong sugat ng kaibigan sa itaas ng tuhod nito na natakpan ng mahaba nitong uniform at pilit na ginamot. Braso lamang nito ang nakita ni Sam at napansin din niyang iniiwas ni Shimitzu ang nasabing sugat noong una ngunit mukhang wala na rin itong nagawa ng ito ay sinimulan ng asikasuhin ng kausap.

“Hindi si Camille yun, dahil hindi yun braso ng isang babae…” bulong ni Sam.

Naghintay ng ilang sandali si Sam, pilit na pinakalma ang sarili at ng mapansing tapos na ito ay doon kumilos at hiniling din na makita kung sino ang taong iyun.

"MIT-zu...?” bati ni Sam sa dalaga.

Sa akalang si Shimitzu ang mabibigla ay siya itong nabigla ng makitang mag-isa nalang ito sa kinaroroonan ni Shimitzu. Naniniwala siyang wala pang 10-15 segundo ang lumipas ng siya ay lumapit dito at nawala ang taong ito na parang bula.

" Hai? " (Yes?) masayang bati ni Shimitzu.

" I've been looking for you... " saad nito sabay lingon sa paligid.

" Gumene.., " (I'm sorry) are you already done with your lunch?" tanong ni Shimitzu.

" Not yet." sagot nito sabay abot ng baon nya.

" Can I join you? nabitawan ko kasi kanina ang lunch box ko, so it's all messed up. " sagot nito sabay pagtawa ng bahagya.

" Ano ba kasing pinaggaga-gawa mo...?" nakangiting saad nito na bahagyang maluluha na bigla.

" Oh, anong nangyare?" tanong ni Shimitzu sa pagkabigla dito.

" Wala... halika na at kanina pa naghihintay si Camille satin sa cafeteria. Baka maibato nya na sakin ang baon nya later. " wika nito sabay hila sa kaibigan at pilit na ngumiti.

Tumango naman ang kaibigan at masayang inabot ang kamay nya.

Sa loob ng cafeteria, doon pinagpatuloy nilang pinag-usapan ang mga ginawa nila sa art subject at nagsimulang magbangayan.

"Nakakainis yong kay Shimitzu! Bat naman kami naging koneho sa painting mo, sa dinami-dami ng hayop na pwede mong gamitin... yun pa talaga ang naisipan mo? " reklamo ni Sam sabay subo ng pagkain.

Ngunit mahinang pagtawa lang ang naisagot ni Shimitzu ng makita rin ang kaibigan punong- puno ang bibig ng pagkain.

Shimitzu named her work as " Friends gazing at the Horizon”.

" Sam, please move on. " sita ni Camille habang ineenjoy ang baon nya.

"Hmmmh... pano naman kasi ang drama ng sa kanya… aysus! " bulong ni Sam.

"SAM!" naiinis na sagot ni Camille.

"Oh! sabi move on, ikaw itong hindi pa pala nakakamove on at kung makapagsalita ito…and Mitzu! Edit mo yun! akala mo nakaligtas ka rin huh... a-yo-ko nun, ang floppy ko tignan masyado! nakakainis at nilagyan nya pa talaga ng pangalan eh... " nagmamaktol na reklamo ni Sam habang nabugbog nya na ang pagkain kakahalo.

Hindi na naisipang magsalita ni Shimitzu at masaya lang silang pinagmasdan.

Ngunit sa kabila ng sigla ni Sam ay hindi parin maalis sa isip niya ang nasaksihan ng sandaling iyun at sa artwork na gawa ni Camille kanina.

“I won’t force you…I’ll wait until you're finally ready - for I know you’ve been through a lot.” Sam said as she was staring at Shimitzu.

Flashback | It's when Sam is on her way to school earlier when she decided to turn her car to a different direction going to school and remember few things, she finds out last night.

“She has been walking to school for a long time. No wonder I saw her cleaning her shoes once in the comfort room before entering the classroom.” She mumbling while carefully checking the area.

Very few cars and people use this road to go to school, because the road is slightly bumpy and not very developed yet.

“Should I ask mom to get this done?” she said while driving.

Until she suddenly heard a car crash nearby. At first, Sam wondered what had happened, but was stunned to see a woman get up from the collision of the car as if it had been slightly hit by the said vehicle.

The driver of the car came down to assist her and apologize, but the other person in the car who looked like a student at a neighboring school got off and confronted the woman they had run over.

“Who tried to block my way? Do you know who I am?” The student asks.

She could not answer and slightly bent down her head while holding the bag full of dust and the broken lunch box while her knees are shaking with the possible pain.

“It seems that I have nothing to gain from someone who seems to be just one of the scholars of this school. Come on, she doesn't seem hurt. I’ll kill you if arrive late.” She said and this flustered the young driver.

“I’m sorry...” The woman simply said with her head down, and this made the young driver felt bad about how this woman was treated but he doesn’t have a choice but to obey the daughter of his boss.

“It's great that she knew her place. Anyway, we better go.” This student said and got in the car.

Before this woman could noticed Sam’s car, she immediately hides her car behind the abandoned building near her. Sam can't understand how she was able bear to watch her in the distance, seeing her pick up her scattered stuffs one by one without saying anything or making any expressions at all made her feel worst.

“I'm sure it hurts, but why... why didn't you say anything? but instead apologized?” Sam said while clenching her fist.

Until she heard her answer a phone call.

“Who is calling her this time? Are they Tessa and Anna? But she had just come from their house. Is it not?” Sam wonders, but immediately stunned when she suddenly saw trying so hard to smile.

“I just got to school, how about you? Hmmh Great, enjoy your classes, okey?” She simply said like her knees are not trembling and bleeding.

Watching her smile and slightly chuckles as she was listening from the other line made Sam a little furious.

“Ha... Look who’s talking, and how can you still smile? You can simply ask for help and tell that person over the phone that you’re hurt… why? Ugh!” Sam tried to conceal her presence because she knew that this person would keep everything herself like she used to.

“Why do you always choose to suffer alone…?” she said as she watched her walk into the school.

"We've known each other for years, but as time goes on, I don't seem to know you anymore."