Coniglettó

A look inside my head

I roll over stretching my limbs. The feeling of silk glides along my face. My eyes quickly opened as I shot up. Looking at my surroundings I realized that I was in my room. I sighed and laid back down. I'm such a failure, all I had to do was act normal. Instead I lose my mind and ruin what could've been a good time. He probably doesn't want to talk to me after this. I pulled my phone out my pocket and looked at the time. 10:56 pm that must have been a really long nap. It happens when I put so much pressure on myself. I always let my sadness and all my problems get the best of me. I always want to try and have fun but then everything I do reminds me why I'm the way I am. I can't eat after breakfast because I feel too fat. I can't tell people the truth because I'm afraid of being judged. I can't go out and have fun because I'm reminded how sad I actually am. I want to feel normal. Or as close to it as I can be. I take a deep breath and decide on taking a shower. Pulling myself out of bed , I grab my PJs and head for the shower. Turning on the shower I discard my clothes stepping under the spikes of warm water. The water Cascades over my face as I look up at the ceiling.

Inhale.

Exhale.

I look down at my arms and sigh. I'm such a mess. Why can't I just get over myself ? I grabbed my rag and soap and washed my body. I rinsed my self off and turned off the shower. Wrapping my towel around my body I sat on my closed toilet seat. Looking at my legs I let out a angry growl. I really want to be friends with Gage but why does he even want to be seen with me? He obviously has to be blind. Right? I know I sound basic girl cliche but I cant really help it. He could talk to anyone, I know for a fact that after tomorrow he'll never look at me.

I need a smoke.

I finished drying myself off, Putting on my clothes. Walking to my dresser, I pulled open the jewelry box and pulled out my lighter and my stash. Grabbing my phone , I walked to my window and pulled up the screen. Pushing my legs out and slid my body onto the roof. I rolled my blunt, and placed it between my lips. Flicking the lighter and taking a deep drag. Holding it in for a second, I released the smoke that I held within my lungs. I pulled my knees to my chest and took another hit. The screen of my phone lit up

Unknown

Hey, you good?

- Gage

I rolled my eyes and took another hit, letting the smoke blow out through my nostrils.

"Can he just leave me alone?"