The Pain We Feel

Chapter 1

Two knocks sounded at the door drawing Alan away from his thoughts,he turned to the door just as it was pushed open to reveal the Butler, Mr.Philip,

"Master Alan,Sir requests your presence at the table",the Butler says with a smile which Alan stiffly returns,

"Is he in a good mood?",

"I couldn't tell Sir",

Alan sighs, "I will be down in two minutes"

"I will inform him", Philip says

Alan nods absently as he buttons his white sleeve, does his tie and pulls his jacket on,he takes one last look at the mirror and leaves the room.

He makes his way downstairs to the dining room, choosing to ignore the guard that followed behind. The room is warm, painted in warm colours of yellow and speckles of white. It is bright with sunlight shining in from the floor to ceiling windows. The long mahogany table at it's centre reflects the china laid out on it filled with various sweet smelling delicacies on its polished surface. Alan overlooks all this, his focus is on the man seated at the head of the table. His father, who is dressed in a pristine white suit is eating his breakfast with polished elegance. He tries to gauge his mood but the blank face gives away nothing. His father looks up at his entrance,

"Take a seat and eat your breakfast son",he says with a smile and continues eating. Alan nods and makes his way to the chair on his right hand where a maid helps him tuck in and fills his plate with a huge serving of sausage, toast and bacon,she pours him tea and retreats behind his chair.

"Thank you",Alan says quietly and begins to eat calmly,

"I heard you missed school yesterday",

Alan swallows hard and chances a glance at his father who is now staring at him as he cleans his hands with a napkin,

"Yes, Sir",Alan says with a nod,

"You missed your test also",He asks again as he stands up and moves to stand behind Alan's chair,resting a hand on his shoulder,

"Where did you go?"

Alan swallows the sausage in his mouth quickly,"To the Cemetery",he says just as his father's grip tightens,

"Do I have to repeat myself Alan?"

"No,Sir", Alan chokes out nervously as his father's hand makes its way around his throat,

"Do not visit her ever again"

"Yes,Sir".

His father turns away and takes his seat,"Eat your food quickly,you are running late",

Alan nods quickly and begins to shovel down his food, barely tasting it.

"I have been informed that you rank second... disappointingly once again and a test will be given today which may boost your grades"

Alan stiffens"Yes,Sir"

"Ace it or wait in the room after school...your choice",He says as he stands up,"Get your things,let's go".

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The drive is short, but it seems like an hour to Alan,he barely listens as his father lectures him about his grades and his position as an heir, He breathes a sigh of relief as the school gates come into view. Regal-High is a privately owned high school which caters to children of the wealthy,the school grounds are large, but well taken care of and the building itself is a towering edifice surrounded with sculptures and murals, Students are all around, chatting and reading. The car parks and Alan pushes the door open as he walks into the school,he feels the presence of his father beside him and the stares of the other students, but he ignores it all. He makes a turn and he sees the Principal ahead, but strides past him,nodding to his greeting,

"Good morning Mr. De Bourgh,it's a pleasure to see you once again", Alan tunes them out as he hurries down the next hall and stops at his door.

He fumbles with his keys as he shakily opens the door and rushes in. This is his personal space,a perk of being the Director's son. He throws down his bag and pulls off his jacket as he makes his way to the adjoining restroom. He kneels down by the toilet and pushes aside a tile which reveals a prescription bottle, he snags it and pops it open, pouring out three pills which he swallows dry as he sprawls on the cold tiles waiting for them to kick in. Soon, the shaking stops,his nerves calm and his breath steadies. He makes his way to the sink and turns the tap on to wash his face,

"You are becoming careless",a voice says,

Alan turns around quickly to see a girl leaning on the wall behind him,he sighs in relief, "You freaking scared me El", he says and turns back to wash his face. He takes one of the towels from the neatly folded pile on a shelf beside the sink and cleans the water droplets on his face,

"Anyone could have walked in Al",

"Thank God you did",Alan says as he brushes his hair back,

El grabs his arm and turns him around,"What the hell is wrong with you,your dad's a floor down and suddenly you don't care if he finds out you are popping pills?",she asks in a hard voice,

Alan shrugs her off"I needed them okay"

"Then you could have at least locked the damn door"

"Okay,Okay,I apologise, I was totally out of my mind, I'm sorry Elma",Alan concedes as he pulls her into a hug,"I'm sorry okay?"

Elma shrugs him off and goes to the mirror at the sink where she straightens her jacket, Alan snickers,

"Neat Freak",

"Dirtbag",she retorts with a smile

"Haha,you are the friend of a dirt bag",Alan taunts,

"Damn you Al,get dressed let's head to class",

Alan nods and picks up his jacket from where he had thrown it down in his haste,

"I need a refill",he says quietly as he does his buttons,

Elma pauses as she turns to him,"What did you say?"

Alan looks up,"A refill..I need a refill",

Elma pushes past him as she kneels down by the toilet and gets the bottle from underneath the tile, she opens it to find a few pills at the bottom of the bottle,she swallows as she looks up at him, "I'm not getting you one",

Alan's jaw hardens,"What the f**k El, I need them okay",

"A bottle lasts two months or more but this is barely a month since your last refill",

"I know okay, f**k I know that El,but things have been hard,I need..."

"You are overdosing and possibly addicted", El screams out cutting him off midspeech,"When did this even start huh",

Alan runs a hand through his hair," I'm not addicted El",

"Then, explain this to me",

"He's been in a bad mood recently and I..I have been to the r.. room thrice already",

El pauses,"Did he find out about yesterday?",

"Yes,he knows I'm a rank lower also",

"s**t,did he hit you?",El asks shakily as she takes his hand in hers,

"No, but if I don't ace the test today,I.. I.have t..to go to t.. the room a...again",Alan stutters out,

El rubs his arm,"You will pass the goddamn test,you know it,you won't go to the room okay", Alan nods quickly

"Deep breaths Al, are you okay?"

"Yea,"Al nods,

"Let's head to class",

"What about the refill?"Alan asks,

" I will wait it out to be sure you aren't addicted haha",Elma snickers as she steps into the hallway with Alan trailing behind her,his bag slung over his shoulder,

"I hate you Elma Peter's"

"The feeling's mutual",Elma chuckles drily as they head to class. She doesn't bother to shrug his hand off her shoulder.