Jiji no. 8

Deep Down

Holder never believed what Nameless told him: that never had he met anyone who has the same amount of Kohns summoned compared to what he had done. He supposed it was all a fraud statement of his instructor—a trick to fire his perseverance up, to make his performance better.

It was not an uncommon thing to him. He knew that kind of trick: that for every student a certain instructor has, the main rule they should follow first is that they shall boost the morale of the trainee before proceeding to a much higher and complicated setup of the game. It would give enough foundation for a person to continue his or her willingness to learn the skill in a simpler, better way.

He pretended he was flattered by the compliment. “Thank you, Nameless,” he said. But he was sure, among the group of Elites, he was the weakest.

He might even be performing poorly compare to other Sankt Vessel users. Perhaps, they can summon more than a thousand and five of Kohns in just an effortless flick of their hands. After-all, they are the elite group Agnosbadtt’s soldier. They were higher and mightier than any guards existing in the kingdom. That’s why he knew, those Sankt Vessel Users, they are more powerful than him. He was sure.

“What do we do next?” Holder asked. “We should not waste any more time, Nameless.”

“Huh?” asked nameless, returning back from her reverie.

“What do we do next?” Holder repeated.

“I—I’m sorry. I was just fascinated by the Kohns you’ve summoned.”

As if you haven’t seen that to other Sankt Vessel users, he wanted to say. But since he was starting to become tired, he let it pass. He wanted to finish the training already. This would be his last training for the day. Tomorrow is another course, and he should be preparing for that.

Yet Holder smiled. Despite knowing that Nameless was just fooling her with her remarks, he cannot help his self but to smile. Her expressions were cute that he wanted to pinch her face, who then was just pretending fascinated by the Kohns that was still flying and swirling in the air.

Damn, he wasn’t sure how was he able to summon that numbers of Kohns in just a single wielding of his inner strength. He still cannot believe that he was able to summon a thousand of them. A hundred was a feat for him, for he was jut a normal teenager who has an ambitious dreams. But what he can summon was thousand. Perhaps that is a feat, and at least, that would prove him he can be part of the elite group of Agnosbadtt’s protector. But of course, he knew, since he was the last to be recruited on the group, he was on the bottom when comparing the strength and performances of other Sankt Vessel users. But who cares with the strength capacity of each other? They will work as a group, so it doesn’t mater.

He realized then, that little by little, he was fulfilling his promise to his father.

“Now you’re the one on the reverie,” said Nameless.

“Huh?” Holder went back to reality.

“Have you heard what I said a while ago?”

“Uh … you said that, uh, we’re about to train!”

Nameless pursed her lips, and smack Holder’s head. “Fool,” she said. “I haven’t spoke anything yet. See, your thoughts are flying.”

“Sorry,” Holder scratched his head. He was then embarrassed with what Nameless told him.

“Alright, since you’re a bit of rushing about your training, then I will give it to you.”

“Yes,” Holder muttered with a pump on his fist.

“Seriously,” Nameless laughingly told.

“Were we about to summon Kohns still?” Holder asked.

“Of course, we would. That’s the essence of this training,” answered Nameless.

“Then, is there any other, uhm, a bit of higher and more complex way we would take in this training? I mean, way higher than summoning this wonderful Kohns?”

“There is. But why do you want to learn it this instant?”

“Really? Is there? Of course, Nameless, who would not want to learn it. But first, I think I should learn and master the foundations first. We should continue our training. And when the time comes, I would gladly take that more complicated techniques from you.”

“That is a good mindset,” Nameless said. “If you will learn the more complicated form while your foundation was still shaky, you would just be disappointed. I knew one. He was almost as strong as you. And then he decided to train the complicated techniques. But he was just disappointed with the result, because all was a fail. Because too, he didn’t know about the foundations. But then he didn’t give up. He learned the basics again, and he’s much more attentive than before. Until he realized he was already the general of the Agnosbadtt.”

“It was my father,” Holder said, looking at the Kohns flying in the sky.

“It was your father indeed. And I am glad you are not following his steps,” Nameless said.

Surprised, Holder looked at her. “I do, Nameless. I am following him. I am doing his best to be as great as he was.”

Nameless looked at her again with her nymph-like beauty. “Believe me son, you are not. You are treading your own path. And it is a more grandiose path compared to the one your Papa had taken.”

Holder stared on the ground. “As much as I want, Nameless, I want to be like him. Closer to the achievements that he got.”

“But that would be impossible, Holder. At your position, at what is currently happening to your life, and the way how you perform and welcomes the challenges of life, and then how you show your desires and ambitions, and way of thinking, have you never thought that you’re already far from him? You had exceeded your Papa in many ways.”

He bit his lips. “That was a hard pill to swallow,” he said.

Nameless again, laughed. “Really? One son would be proud that they had overpassed the power of their father. You see, the son’s standards is the achievement of his father. And the son will do anything to overcome the standards, and set a new one. A new record. But for you, you don’t want to accept you’re way higher than where your father had reached. You are trying to make fun of yourself.”

“But it was too early to say I reached and overreached his feats.”

“Believe me you do. Hey, I think something is bothering in your mind.”

“Huh? Uh, it was … nothing. I was just afraid to say I’m greater than him,” he then smiled, “you know, he might get angry to me, and wake up from gods knew where his grave, and show up to me while saying how he’s still greater than me. Imagine that, I think I would pass out. I never wanted to see a phantom or ghosts. They are scary.”

Nameless laughed from what Holder told. She grabbed a pebble and threw at her, because he was having a weird kind of mindset and imagination.

“Believe me, a real father would be proud if their son was greater than them. That just means Sons won’t do the same mistakes they had done in their life.”

“Hey, Nameless,” Holder called.

“You wouldn’t tell me what happened to my Papa, isn’t it? People in the Central Kingdom refuses. So I guess you too.”

Nameless went quiet. She then placed her palm above a handful-sized flower. It then glowed. In blue. When she was done, she showed Holder what was the thing sitting on the flower.

“A pixie,” Holder said.

“A sleeping pixie,” Nameless corrected. “Do you know why was this pixie sleeping?” she asked.

Holder did not answer. Instead, he looked at her with a questioning look.

“Because she is sad,” Nameless reasoned. “When a pixie is sad, she sleeps. When they wake up, they would forget the reason why were they sad, and would continue with their happy life.”

The little fairy squinted a little, and then gently flipped his body to another side. She was having a peaceful sleep on the flower.

“This is a Kohn,” Nameless again spoke. “I summoned it with the use of my emotion. Do you know what emotion I had used to summon it?”

“Sadness,” Holder confidently replied.

“Sometimes, I hope everyone was a pixie. We sleep, and when we woke up, we forget the reason why we’re sad.”

“But we would forget too about the people who made us sad, and the lessons that the sadness had given us,” Holder said.

“That is the reason why I threw that hope. Pixie forgets, but humans remember.” She then look at Holder. “I’m sorry son, I can’t tell you what happened to your father. I remember everything, but I did my best not to remember it anymore. But it kept coming back.”

“And the pain and sadness kept coming back,” Holder said. Nameless then nodded.

“Hey, we’re training, aren’t we?” Nameless stood up, and started composing herself. She brushed away the tears formed onto her eyes. “Stand up, we’re going to utilize our emotion. We will call Kohns of sadness.”

Holder stood up. “You’re pretty sure you know how to manipulate emotions for the sake of our training, don’t you know,” he said to lighten up the mood, even for a little bit. Not far from them, Jiji was still busy playing with the Kohns.

“Hey, I didn’t expect we’ll come to the point talking about your father. Don’t be so suspicious of everything. Come on now, do the same thing you did earlier. But this time, you have to summon Kohns of sadness. And I will watch you.”

Holder sighed. “Fine.”

He placed his palm in the front, again. He heaved another long breath. Then pause. His eyebrows met. Then an extreme aura of concentration lingered through him. On his ears, a muffled sound recoiled—like the sound of seashell when placed on ears. He then finds the summoning will on his gut. He searched for it. Sadness. He wants to summon sadness. He touched and found fear, then happiness, a little bit of rage, but he cannot find sadness.

And hey, why the hell can he pick his emotion? Why was he able to control his self to find the emotion of sadness? It wasn’t like that when he first did it, wasn’t it? He can only find happiness that time. But this time, he can feel other emotions too down in his gut. And there is this certain something which he can control—to find the right feeling he was tasked to summon.

Nameless, as soon as she saw the white aura lingering around Holder, went frozen. Cold sweat ran from her forehead. How did he? She asked. How did he achieved the state of peace that easily? How did he able to learn the thing about controlling the Kohns in just a small amount of time? How did—she stopped. Something happened to Holder.

Holder finally found the feeling of sadness. It was tucked down, deep, on the most corner of his gut, lingering as if afraid to come, afraid to come, afraid to come . . . afraid to be summoned, afraid that it would materialize as a Kohn. Or something. He even mistook it as the feeling of fear. But he realized, it was sadness—though to be honest, it was quite different from the sadness he always feels.

He pulled it. That thing lingering in the most corner of his emotions. And the same thing happened again. Something huge, something uncontrolled, and something powerful was about to come out. He thought it was the same thing that happened when he summoned the first Kohns.

But when nameless shouted, “No! Pull that down Holder! Force it back!” he knew that it was different. That what he tapped is not the Kohns of sadness, but, the kinds of Kohns he should not summon.

The whole bright, beautiful sky turned dark and heavy. Raging wind howled through the sky. The flower withered, the grass danced in panic. A dark storm. Then a symphony of fearful howls of spirits asking for help, for justice. Phantoms. Ghosts.

Holder felt dizzy. His strength started to fade. He wobbled on his feet as the Kohn he accidentally summoned was forming in the sky. A beast. A creature of the night. A demon.

A dark, shadowy figure with a piercing shriek had struck to their feared heart.

Holder did his best to stay on his feet, and be conscious until he could think of a way how could he summon back the Kohn. When it was finally on its final form, it was a ghost-like figure of something familiar he had seen. It was just like a ghost, a shadow—inconcrete. But he knew it was a familiar creature. Those bloodshot eyes, those bat-like wings, those another eyes near its chest, those humanistic arms forming as its legs.

He finally remembered it. Jiji. The demon Jiji he saw in the Yellow room which Duthor had shown him. The ancient demon the dark monk had summoned.

The demon Jiji.

He wasn’t sure of what he could do. He was weak, dizzy, and feeling sleepy. But more so, he was feeling . . . afraid.

And then that happened. Before he passed out, he saw what had happened. Sankt Vessel Jiji ate the dark Kohn he had summoned—the dark Kohn . . . which resembles the real demon Jiji of the older times.