Fire in the Heir

4.

The day didn’t get any better and I seemed to get lost, side tracked, and called on in almost every class. I even got hit in the face with a ball in gym.

Lunch brought more torment as everyone had heard the news that Monika shared this morning and that was all that everyone was talking about, well, everyone except me.

My wolf, Kana, was so annoyed and frustrated, it took everything I had in me to keep from shifting right there in class and jumping out the damn window.

By the end of the day, I was so done with this restless feeling and the unease that I still couldn’t shake, so I texted mom and told her that I was going straight home instead of staying for volleyball practice.

As the bell rang, I realized that she hadn’t responded. So, I went ahead and forwarded the message to my dad just in case they were together.

Monika was waiting outside my class, walking over to her. I knew I had to tell her to. “Hey Mon, I’m not feeling too hot today, I think I’m just going to walk home instead of staying for practice.”

She gave me a weird look, then replied, “well if you’re ditching, then so am I. Let’s go to your house and watch TV and eat all the leftovers we can find in your fridge.”

Monika and I only had lunch and gym together this year since I was in all the advanced classes. So I knew that she was unaware of how much this day had sucked, but the look she gave me was just the push I needed to feel like I was gonna puke!

As we walked out of school and were headed towards my house, I asked her, “do you wanna shift and run through the wood behind my house for a bit?” That stopped her dead.

“Is everything okay Taylor? I know how you are about shifting around anyone. Do you need me to call your parents?”

I was surprised by her reluctance and a rush of annoyance surged inside me and Kana when she asked about my parents.

“Monika, are you sure you won’t get in trouble with your parents for ditching practice? You can stay if you’d like,” I said quickly, trying to keep my voice steady.

“Nah, I’ll just text them that I’m going with you to your house and they’ll just pick me up later tonight like usual,” she beamed excitedly.

For some reason, I was even more annoyed now. It wasn’t often that I got annoyed with Monika, she was who she was and usually I envied her carefree and over-enthusiastic attitude.

But right now, I just wanted time alone, a judgement-free zone where I didn’t have to deal with anyone, or anything, and that included her.

Once the schools were well out of our sight, Monika pulled me to the side of the road all the way to the tree line. “Taylor, are you sure that you’re okay? Did something happen that you’re not telling me about?”

I stood looking at her, and for the first time I realized that we were not at eye-level with each other. Somehow, I had gotten about an inch or two taller than her in the last few months without even realizing it.

“No, nothing happened, I just didn’t sleep well and with all the things that are coming up in the coming weeks, I just feel a little flustered and need to let Kana out to shake off the restless feelings that are bothering us both.”

She stared at me and tilted her head slightly to the right as if she was trying to peer inside of my thoughts or something.

We stood there for a few moments longer and then she finally reached out, grabbed my hand, and said, “okay Tay, if that is what you need and you promise me that nothing else is wrong, let’s do it!”

I was always nervous about shifting in front of anyone because people always stared and commented when they saw me.

As if it wasn’t bad enough to look so much different than my parents when we were in our human forms, but when we were in our wolf forms, I looked alien.

Our kind were born with our wolves and they were always within us, but they did not become true wolves, who were able to exist in this world through our shifts, until we hit puberty and we finally came of age.

Since everyone hits puberty at different ages, some of our pack received their wolves earlier than others and some much later. Of course, I was very different. I shifted for the first time when I was only ten years old.

It was the night of the lunar eclipse and we happened to be on a family camping trip. We had climbed to the lowest peak of the mountain and were sleeping in our large tent when the shift started.

The first shift is always painful, no matter how much everyone tries to prepare themselves for it. From the time that we were toddlers, we were always around wolves and we were told about who and what we are.

Everyone tried to help educate and prepare us all from the time we were children to help us all be as ready as possible for our inevitable change.

Here everyone called it the change, because once your wolf appeared, you, your body, and your wolf were forever changed.

I never looked at it as a change. No, for me it felt like it was something more. It was something that was utterly life-altering.

Kana has been with me since I was a babe. She was like a warm presence, or a guardian angel that watched over me always.

When I was little she talked to me, when I was scared she comforted me, and when I was sad she would cheer me up.

Her voice was never that of a child, no matter how old I was. She was fierce, strong, confident, and almost commanding.

Though no one else could see her, I always envisioned her as more of a lioness like the ones on the wildlife channel than a mere wolf.

The night of my first shift, my parents tried everything that they could to help me through it as best as they could.

It was almost unheard of for someone to have their first shift so young, but there I was, in the middle of our little clearing, ripping my way out of my pajamas.

I ripped out of our blue cabin tent, air mattresses bursting, vinyl ripping, and my bones breaking one by one.

When your first shift happens, it is sometimes so painful that our bodies can’t physically handle it and the wolf will take full control as our mind sleeps to try to rebuild our strength and endurance.

If this happens, the wolf will be in full control without their human there to be able to calm it or telling it what to do.

This can be dangerous, especially because most people don’t meet their wolves until that first shift, but I did.

Kana had always been with me, so when the shift began to happen she tried to walk me through it, and explain what was happening.

She told me our bond was powerful and that is why we had been able to communicate all these years. She also said that sometimes the moon goddess blesses our kind with wolves that are powerful, because we are destined for a greater purpose.

Kana said that when that happens, the bonds between the human and their wolf are stronger than most.

Since I will never be able to experience anyone else’s shift, I will never be able to compare what mine felt like, but I never passed out or lost myself.

Once Kana took form and my body was hers, I just nestled into the part of her that was made for me. Just like the part of me where she lived that was made just for her.

What made Kana special or different, depending on who you asked, was not her size or coloring, but her eyes.

They were a dark russet color with wisps of silver and gold that ran through them like strands of silk that gleamed in the light of the moon or the rays of the sun.

She was beautiful, with her rich brown fur and sleek muscular body. She was a beauty and a beast and she was everything I wish I could be.