I will never forgive you

CHAPTER TWO

As the evening arrives, I keep my mind occupied by wiping down the small square counter. Not long after I get my room rearranged my wound nurse walks through the door with a basket filled with fresh bandages. As she pulls out the bandages a small plastic pot falls to the floor. I pick it up and hand it back, refusing the medicine that I know is placed inside.

“You should take it, my lady.” Mary still calls me by my title. Her soft eyes and voice silently scold me.

“I can’t take it forever Mary.” I continue to refuse the drug that shuts my nerves down in my brain. It’s a natural drug but overtime it won’t work. “It is best to stop now.” She gives me a concerned look “I need to face my past Mary.” I give her a reassuring smile. Although I will admit I dont think I could ever truly face my past. It haunts me in all hours of the day.

“If you decide to change your mind you know where to find me.” Mary has been my nurse for years and since then she has picked up a speed for changing my bandages. Once she arrives she’s gone in a flash. She packs her things together, throws away the soiled bandages and patches up my back. She smooths down her nurse's dress and walks out without a word. I walk towards my bed laying over my covers as my entire body burns in pain. My eyes droop close and I fall into a familiar dream.

Screams pierce my ears. Sweat begins to run down my nose as I quickly run through secret passages inside the castle.

“Ellanore.” Unaware that my brother was following me I turn around and skid to a stop. “Where are you going?” I have the urge to embrace him tightly and cry into his shoulder but stop unsure why he would ask me that kind of question.

“We need to escape Ray!” I look up and see shame flash on his face.

“We don’t need to escape Ellanore. No more fighting.” I clench my jaw.

“What are you talking about?” Ray rubs his face, not daring to walk close to me.

“I’m the one that let them raid the castle.” He sighs with tears welling in his eyes. I back away from him shaking my head in disbelievement.

“They killed mom and dad.” My words come out as a whisper. “Ray, why did you do this?” My breathing becomes hoarse as anger builds in my chest.

“You don’t understand sister. They're not going to harm us. They swore that if I allowed them to enter they would let us live. It's all over now, Ellanore the war, the raids, the fear, it's all over.” He takes a step closer and I bump into the wall behind me. “Come on now sister let me take you to your new King” I shake my head, my entire body trembling in fear. “Ellanore come on.” Ray’s voice becomes demanding, frightening me even more.

“You let them do this, you did this. Mom and Dad are Dead!” I yell.

“I did it to keep US safe! They were always going to find a way to overthrow Bronn. At least We get to live! I ended it! Not mother, Not father. I DID!” He points his finger and jabs it at his chest. He yells in my face and I slip my hand behind my back fully aware of the knife now placed in my hand. “It was the only way.” Tears fell from Ray’s face.

I suddenly don’t know who my brother is anymore. “Please forgive me. Ellanore it's the only thing I could do to protect US.” Selfishly he says us not you. My brothers plans were never to protect me. He did all of this to protect himself. I wasn’t sure why he thought he needed protection, mother and father made sure we were safe. “Please forgive me.” Ray’s plea would have left a hole in my heart but the anger and rage I felt towards my own brother for allowing Fjord to overthrow Brinn. For allowing mother and father to be brutally murdered in front of me took all the softness out of my soul.

I slide the knife from its holder behind my back and wrap my arms around my brother. He embraced me just the same but then went to pick me up. He doesn’t care about what happened to his mother and father, all he cares about is his life. I raise my hand pointing my knife at my brother's back ready to strike before Ray notices that the knife is missing from its holder. Quickly I jab the knife through his back.

“How could you ever ask me for forgiveness when it was you who allowed Brinn to fall? I will NEVER forgive you.”

I wake up with sweat dripping down my forehead and my breathing becomes ragged. The smell of my brothers thick dark blood sticks in my nostrils. I can still feel the deep breath he took before dropping me to the ground. I wobble to the washroom filling the tub near the corner with cold water. Once it fills up halfway I undress my dressings and sit down shivering away my burdens.

I wasn’t quite sure how long I had been sitting in the cold water until I heard a knock at the door. My fingers and toes looked like dried grapes, my skin pale and soft. I dress quickly wincing in pain as the cloth from my dress ripps open my wounds. I walk toward the door. I open it, finding Markus's grin.

“You look like..”

“What do you want?” I interrupt before he says I look awful. I turn away with a huff walking towards my dresser and grabbing a small comb to get the tangles out of my hair.

“Nightmares again?” I shoot a warning look.

“What do you want?” I say slowly almost as I would to a child who could barely understand. I slam the brush down on the dresser with frustration.

“You're not going to like it.” He crosses his arms, mocking me. I laugh at him.

“Markus if you don’t tell me I am going to take my comb and claw your eyeballs out!” His grin widens.

“You have a very important appointment with a seamstress.” I scrunch my eyebrows.

“Why.” I groan.

“Uhh because your wardrobe sucks and you're attending the Grand Ball. You can’t wear that.” He points to my worn gray dress that flows below my ankles. Staind at the bottom with a brownish color. I turn in embarrassment. “And you will never believe the best part.” He says with excitement. “Markus Hugh gets to take Ellanore Linz to her special appointment with a very wonderful seamstress.” I raise my eyebrows.

“No.” I shake my head. “Why would you be taking me?”

“Ouch.” Markus slaps his chest. “The king ordered it this morning.”

“Of course your father's little buddy.” I forget that Markus’s father is the king's count which means the two people I am closest to are my enemies.

“You say that like it's a bad thing.” Now I know I hurt Markus’s feelings.

“Can you answer my question please.” I change the subject ignoring the blow.

“Well since you're trying to catch Reid’s attention so he accepts the marriage offer the king and my father both said you needed an updated wardrobe and because I am the son of the king's buddy they wanted my opinion to get you the correct wardrobe. And also because both my father and the king have other things to do than help you get new dresses.” I nod my head.

“So Page gets to come to then?” I straighten my dress and place my hand on the handle on my door, she just returned from her finals yesterday and she would love to help me find dresses.

“No.”

“Yes, you don’t get to tell me no.” I snap.

“She can’t go.” He argues.

“Yes, she can!” Markus throws his hands in the air.

“The King said NO Ellanore!” His voice raises