Resurrection: Love against Fate

Left behind.

The darkness finally arrived with its calmness and a cool breeze. I used to find peace in the dark sky packed with countless stars. Made me feel hopeful and lighthearted. But now? Now it makes me feel lonely. I see all these stars and envy them because they are surrounded by stars that are like them. They don’t fear loneliness, unlike me. I am a prisoner in my memories and imaginations, unable to break free. But it seems I am not alone; he too feels the weight of loneliness. Standing alone on the balcony, gazing longingly at the stars just like me. We share this common trait. Whenever we feel down, the sky is our escape. I stand a few inches behind him, while he remains lost in space. I doubt he even hears me approaching. I watched him for a while to satisfy that 18-year-old girl who had been forced to move to an entirely different country, leaving behind all the beautiful moments. Those moments are buried deep in a sacred part of her heart that no one can ever reach. Kuzey resides there, within my heart, unforgettable. A single tear escaped from my eyes as I saw him standing infront of me, but I was unable to hold him closer, unable to touch him, kiss him or even smell him.

“Isn’t it weird?”

He asked without flinching, as if he knew all this time I was there.

I quickly wiped the tears off “What do you mean?”

“No matter how many stars are up there, no matter how brightly they shine, they can never truly illuminate the sky.” he said while releasing a little chuckle before glancing down at his shoes.

“It is as if it is their fate. No matter how hard they try, the sky will never light up!”

“What are we talking about here?” I asked, calmly, asked him while pulling my cap tighter.

“Nothing,” he shrugged. He turned around to face me.

“Why did you return, Asia?”

“For my grandpa, I missed him and I kind of sensed that he needed me” I tried to avoid any eye contact and the heavy wind was helping with this.

He shook his head. “He definitely needs you”, his words were barely a whisper.

“Guess you never sensed any other need for ten years” he locked his gaze with mine as if he is examining my soul.

I let out a chuckle

“I guess I had no room back then to sense anything, Kuzey! You know me well, and you know exactly what I have been through…”

“Yes I know all of this, Asia” he suddenly interrupted, his gaze intense and filled with anger.

His eyes bore into mine, placing all the blame on me. Things are intensifying, and I was not prepared for this moment, at least not now. I thought maybe he forgot. I mean we are both aged and mature enough to let go of this childhood love, especially since our families are not on good terms. This is not a Romeo and Juliet story; this is about me seeking revenge for my parents and doing whatever it takes to make those who turned our lives upside down, made us all miserable and caused me immense loneliness to pay for their actions.

I was once surrounded by wonderful loving parents. I would wake up in the morning worrying about nothing, hearing my mum and dad laughing and talking with each other, planning vacations and adventures together. I used to be truly happy. But suddenly, everything changed. I found myself burying my parents underground, along with my happiness and cheerful memories, and only left with grief to carry for the rest of my life. I loved Kuzey when I was young and reckless, believing that life was easy to face. We were deeply in love and we had countless promises. However, things don’t work out as planned, right? This is how I keep myself focused on the goal that I’m here for. This is how I’m killing Kuzey inside me, shutting down all my emotions. But this drains and kills me. But I have to!

“I am no longer this girl anymore” I whispered while pushing myself away.

“Say it louder” he stopped me midway.

“I AM NO LONGER THIS GIRL ANYMORE, KUZEY” I locked my eyes with his “I killed her, buried her along with all of her memories.”

“You are a liar” he calmly said. “When I tell you I can still feel her, that means she is still present”, he narrowed his eyes.

I let out a sarcastic chuckle “In your imagination, she is only present in your imagination.”

He sneered, and his voice laced with bitterness “Ten years, Asia! It has been ten years since you last contacted me, Asia” he started, nervously biting his lower lip. “A decade ago I was left behind, feeling all kinds of humiliation.”

He diverted his sight away while his fingers ran through his beautifully thick hair.

“You made me ask myself, what did I do? Was I somehow involved? What could I have done to hurt you?”

“Kuzey, can we talk about this later? I’m exhausted” I pleaded, turning to leave as quickly as possible. However, he swiftly gripped my arm, pulling me towards his chest, forcing me to confront his pained broken eyes. Raw emotions are emitted from his depth

“Face me, just once, Asia” tears streamed down my face, despite the efforts to hold them back.

“Try to explain to me your reasons for cutting me off, try to justify to me the way you destroyed me, and your relentless attempts to break me,” he continued, as his voice trembled.

“I never me…” I began, but he silenced me by placing his hand over my mouth.

His eyes were bloodshot and filled with unshed tears and hidden emotions.

“Don’t… just.. Don’t say a word” he muttered through his clinched jaws and slowly resting his forehead towards mine.

The tension between us was indescribable.

“You are not allowed to say anything at all.”

I feel his heavy breaths. He had been waiting for this moment to hit me with all of his accumulated emotions and I couldn’t blame him.

He released his grip and wiped away the tears on my cheeks with his index.

“Let me tell you, Asia” he said, while using his arm to brush away his tears, desperately trying to suppress his pain.

“You are going to miss the UK so much! I just wish you hadn’t returned.”

“What do you exactly mean?” fear gripped my heart at his words, as if he knew something that would eventually uncover.

He left me with no answer, on a cliffhanger, knowing that this would torture me. I realized I needed to sit down with my grandfather. This was a real need. But I have just arrived this morning and too exhausted to think about anything. It was all overwhelming. I headed straight to my room, but I could not help but wonder why Orhan, Kuzey’s father, was still with my grandfather in his meeting room. This actually triggered my curiosity. Despite my exhaustion, I felt I needed to check on my grandfather as it was getting too late. I went downstairs to where the room is. As I approached the room, I overheard an intense conversation happening between them. My grandfather was coughing too much while the voices were growing louder. I could not make out the exact words, so I got a bit closer to the door to catch any word that could shed a light on the situation. I managed to catch a few more to catch a few phrases from my grandfather’s, although Orhan’s voice remained unclear. “She just arrived” “I won’t allow this to happen” “You’ve been waiting for this”. The last phrase sent shivers to my whole spine: “Marriage”.

Now everything was becoming clearer. I took a step back and shook, my heart raced, and the realization hit me, I was being forced into an arranged marriage. But for what reason and with whom? I would have to uncover the truth for myself.