The Salvation Knights MC: Jinx's Mistake

Chapter 4: The Party

!!!! **** WARNING! THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MATERIALS THAT SOME READERS MAY FIND DISTRESSING! SUCH AS EMOTIONAL AND MENTAL ABUSE OF A MINOR! READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED! **** !!!!

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Nadine's P.O.V.

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~ Nadine: Age 13 / Feral: Age 19 ~

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Today is my 13th birthday, and I am so nervous. I have no idea why. Maybe because the ol' ladies decided I needed a party to mark the occasion. Aunt Claire said that 13 is a big number for a girl and that we should celebrate as a whole. I agreed, because I was too shy to say that I didn't want that. It's just... a lot. I don't really have any actual friends at school either. Just girls who talk to me because they think my brother and his friends are cute.

The ol' ladies were so excited though, that I couldn't bring myself to tell them no. Plus, I've been so... lonely lately. So much has changed over the last three years. Everything feels different now. And I have never felt so alone before.

My parents still fight, but it's not as often as it used to be. They'd have to actually see each other to fight. We all still live on the same property, but they avoid each other like the plague. Dad pretty much lives at the clubhouse now. I only ever see him in passing. Half the time he doesn't even notice me, but I can tell that he's getting tired in his old age. Mom rarely ever leaves the house. Everything she needs, she has delivered to the club or flirts with a prospect to make him go get it for her. She drinks a lot and takes pills throughout the day. She's practically comatose most of the time.

Which is great for me, because when she's lucid enough, she always has something to say to me. And I always let her words take up too much space in my head. Which is why I started spending more time with the other ol' ladies at their houses. They get together daily for meals, baking, drinking, and just hanging out. It's better than being at home with Mom or in the clubhouse watching all the guys I used to consider friends sucking face with random girls.

I say used to because I'm just not sure anymore. I don't know when things changed between us all, but they have. Kaizen seems to be busy all the time these days. He and a few other brothers are going to graduate high school this year. I know he's busy with school and prospecting for the club and all that, but I barely see him these days. Sometimes I wonder if he forgot about me.

Maybe they all forgot about me.

Most of them say hi when they see me in the clubhouse. Sometimes I chat with them, but something always distracts them. Usually a girl. I get it. Sort of. Everyone else says it's normal, but I wish it didn't sting so badly. It's not like I like any of them. I just... wish I was important to them again. I just want them to make time for me. Just a little time.

For some reason, it especially stings when it's Calix. Or Feral, as he's called now. No one will tell me the story about how he got that name, but I know he got it the day he turned 18. I think it had something to do with his parents, but no one will talk to me about it. It's frustrating, but I'm glad he's living here now. I'm glad he's safe and away from that place. I don't know much about what Feral went through at home, but I know it was bad.

For a while, I was concerned about Feral. A few years ago, he picked up a job and started working a lot. He wasn't around as much. When he was, he was exhausted. There was even one time that he sat down with me while I was having a picnic alone outside, and he fell asleep for four hours. I felt so bad.

There I was, sad that my friends had found better things to do, crying over the things my mom said to me, and there Feral was... working himself to the bone for people who hit him almost daily. We all saw the black eyes, the split lips, the bruised jaw. It made me hate his parents more than I'd ever hated anyone in my life.

But they're gone now. Fled town from what I heard. I hope that had something to do with the club. My favorite thing about the club is that they always have each other's backs. Even mine. Like a real family.

Even though Feral has been living at the clubhouse for over a year now, I still feel like I rarely see him. I used to try to hang out with him at first, but every time I found him, he was with a club bunny. Usually Delight. And they were usually making out. It always made me feel funny on the inside. Not in a good way either. I never felt that way about the other guys though. I really didn't understand it. Or like it. So, I'd always run away before he saw me.

After a few weeks of trying to hang out, I gave up. I wasn't getting anywhere, and the rejection was starting to sting. So, I just watched everyone from afar. I still tried here and there when I saw any of them, but they always had an excuse or plans already. Feral would sometimes say yes, and for a split second, I would start to feel light again. I would start to convince myself that they still cared about me, that they remembered me. But then Delight would show up and suddenly Feral couldn't spare me any time.

It felt like I was fading away. It terrified me. What was going to happen to me if everyone forgot about me, even Kaizen and Calix?

That was when I latched onto the ol' ladies. They made me feel a little better about things. Like I wasn't fading into the background of my own life. And I started doing things around the clubhouse more. I baked treats, helped cook and clean up, put fresh flowers on the table weekly, silly things like that. It was all in the hopes that no one would forget about me for real. I thought that if I smiled enough, if I was nice enough, if I showed I cared enough... maybe they wouldn't forget all about me anymore. Maybe I wouldn't fade out of everyone's lives. Maybe I'd mean something special to them.

However, that doesn't mean I want a party. Aunt Claire even convinced Mom to do it here at our house and make it a pool party. I invited some kids from school, even though I'm not really close to any of them. Mom wasn't thrilled, but agreed. Which made me even more nervous. She only agreed because she couldn't say no in front of all the ol' ladies, but I knew she didn't really want to do this. Especially not for me.

"Your party started over an hour ago," Mom said from the doorway of my bedroom, wine glass in hand.

"Are there a lot of people here already?" I asked nervously, smoothing down my white bathing suit cover.

That made Mom snort before taking a large gulp of her wine.

"Oh, honey, nobody is here," she told me, saying it like it was funny to her.

"What?" I asked, turning around to face her.

"No one showed up," she replied with a shrug and a huge grin on her face. "Your precious aunties are down there, but no one else. No friends from school. No Kaizen. No brothers at all. Not even your uncles or your father showed up. Probably because they all know how poisonous you are, and they don't want you to ruin their lives like you've done to me. Or maybe they all just forgot about you. Wouldn't surprise me. You are very... unimportant."

"You're lying," I said as tears filled my eyes. "They wouldn't forget about me. They're just running late."

"I might be a lot of things, Nadine, but we know that a li.ar isn't one of them," she stated before sipping her wine again. "Face it sweetheart, nobody cares about you. Serves you right."

I shook my head, refusing to believe it.

"They'll all be here," I said confidently. "Kaizen wouldn't forget. Or any of the other guys. They're my friends. They wouldn't forget about my birthday or the party."

Right?

"By all means, wait for them," she scoffed before looking me up and down. "You should probably change though."

"Why?" I blurted before I could think better of it.

I winced slightly the moment the words left my mouth. Mom smiled smugly, like she was just waiting for the invitation. She stepped into my room, stopping a foot away from me. She looked me up and down slowly, scrunching up her face like she smelled something bad.

"I've told you a million times that you're too fat for a bikini," she said. "You look disgusting."

"I-it's just a regular two-piece swimsuit," I mumbled.

Which was true. There apparently is a difference. Bikinis are smaller. What I have on is simple. It's a soft pink color and fits perfectly. The bottoms tie at the sides and the top is pretty standard. I even have a white cover over me. It might be see-through, but it covers almost my entire body. I thought I looked... normal. That's what I was going for. I even threw my hair into a messy bun on top of my head. Nothing special. Just... me.

"You look like a desperate pig trying to get attention," Mom stated harshly. "We even cut back on your meals, and you still look like this. You must be eating when you're not around me. Well, whatever," she continued, waving her hand in the air and rolling her eyes. "I was only trying to help you, but you're hopeless. You're just like the other girls around here. No daughter of mine would be caught dead looking like you. Looking that disgusting and flaunting it around a bunch of boys. Just another poisonous wh.ore for the Salvation Knights to play with."

"Th-this is n-normal," I stuttered, trying to defend myself. "Aunt Claire helped me-"

"God! Stop calling her your aunt! None of them are your aunts! None of them are related to you! None of them even actually like you!" Mom cut me off, shouting and making me jump. "Do whatever you want, Nadine," she said more calmly. "No one will show up anyway. Not for someone as insignificant as you."

Tears stung my eyes as I turned away from her, refusing to let her see me cry.

"Just remember Nadine," she said as she walked towards the door. "Men only like desperate girls like you for a night or two. Nothing more. So don't ever think you're special. A poisonous girl like you doesn't deserve more than that anyway. And maybe you shouldn't have any cake tonight."

With that, she left me alone in my room to cry before my party.