The Salvation Knights MC: Jinx's Mistake

Chapter 8: Getting Back On Track

Deidra's P.O.V.

*******************************

I woke up the next day feeling groggy and a bit confused. For a second, one blissful second, I'd completely forgotten yesterday. I was in my childhood bedroom, staring at the glow-in-the-dark star stickers on the ceiling. Then I wondered what the heck I was doing here, and it all came rushing back.

Sophie and Theo. In my bed. They're getting married. At my wedding. At my venue.

I closed my eyes as a stray tear fell from my eye. I pushed the covers off me and sat up, swinging my legs over the side of the bed. I refuse to cry over them. No way in hell. Not for a weak man like Theo who's so easily seduced. Definitely not for a wh.ore like Sophie, who's a grown woman with a childish mentality. Nope, not me. Not this girl. This girl has things to do, a life to put back together.

I got up and made the bed before going to the bathroom across the hall. I did my morning business, found an unopened toothbrush under the sink, and hopped in the shower. I might not live here anymore, but I still have some clothes here. I still like to have dinner with Deb most nights, and sometimes I end up sleeping here. Deb has actually asked me on several occasions why I even bothered to move out.

Honestly, I have no idea why either. I thought I was being independent at first, venturing out on my own. I didn't need to prove anything to anyone though. I know I'm independent. The more I think about it, the more I realize it was Sophie whispering things in my ear about being on my own for once.

How did I possibly let that girl manipulate me for so long? Was I really just a push over all these years? I never thought the little things mattered. Sure, Sophie wasn't the nicest or the best friend in the world, but she was there when I needed her. Through all my most embarrassing times. Through my parents' deaths. Through two graduations, years of hard work, and even the grand opening of Garden Sip. As sh.itty as she could be, Sophie had her good qualities too. Or maybe she doesn't.

I don't know anymore, and I don't care. I will never forgive her for this. Even if she changes her wedding venue, even if she cancels the wedding, hell, even if she dumps Theo. Nothing will ever make me forgive her. Never. I'd never be able to trust her again, no matter how sorry she is. How could I ever trust her around another boyfriend?

Fu.ck... I wasn't even thinking about how I'd have to eventually date again. Or, well, how I'd have to start. Because, let's face it, I never dated. Not really. Theo took me out in the beginning, but it was only him, so I don't know if you'd consider that "dating". I never used dating apps, never mingled at parties. Hell, I never even went to parties. It was a total fluke that Theo and I got together, and that was because he chased me relentlessly.

How can I throw myself out there ever again? I didn't even want to before. I'm not sure that I really want to now. I thought what Theo and I had was genuine. I can see why Sophie said I never loved him. I think I loved Theo, but I don't think I was ever in love with him. I think I just... wanted to be. I mean, I thought he liked me so much, I thought he loved me.

Of course, I started to suspect them, and kept ignoring my instincts, but still... I'd never have guessed that it went so deep between them. I would never have thought they were in love. Hell, I only thought that maybe they'd kissed or something behind my back. At worst, I thought they'd slept together. Maybe only once. Maybe it was a mistake. I never even knew that Theo no longer had feelings for me.

Am I that easy to fool? Was I just that hopeful? How could I be so damn blind?

Tears welled up again, but I forced them back. I focused on anger instead. And I had a lot of it. Naturally, I was pi.ssed at my ex- fiancé, and I was fu.cking enraged at just the thought of Sophie. But mostly, I'm angry with myself. For letting this happen. For not listening to my gut. For thinking that I could ever have a love like I saw between my parents. I should have known better. I might be their daughter, but I'm nothing like them.

Maybe I'm just not meant to be loved.

*************************

The first thing I did after my shower, was call the cabin rental place. Luckily, they had a last-minute cancellation and were able to move me to another cabin that I could rent for two weeks. The lady I spoke to said it was smaller, but I told her it was fine since it was just me now. God, did I sound pathetic. Going on vacation over Christmas and New Years alone... I probably sounded incredibly pitiful to that lady.

The rest of the day was spent putting my life back in order. Deb held things down at Garden Sip while I handled everything else. The first thing I did was go to my apartment and talk to the land.lord, Dave, about my lease. Thankfully, he was willing to let me out of it, but he was going to keep my security deposit. He told me that most people aren't that lucky, and I should be thankful he owed my dad a favor.

A real Mr. Scrooge, that one.

After I squared everything away with my lovely land.lord, I cleared out my entire apartment on my own. Well, that's a lie. I got everything that I could on my own. There are two huge black trash bags in the room; both full of anything that reminded me of either Theo or Sophie. I just have to take those to the dumpster on my way out. Now all that's left are the big things; couch, chair, kitchen table, TV stand, bed... I wonder if Dave would let me leave it for the next tenant to use...

Sighing, I decided it wouldn't hurt to ask. The most Dave could say was that he's all out of favors now. I technically have until the 1st to get everything out, but since I'm leaving on Sunday, I really only have this weekend.

I found Dave in his office, lounging back in his chair and watching some movie on his laptop. When he saw me, he paused the movie and sighed heavily as he sat up. For a man in his 50s who only watches TV all day, he sure is grumpy.

"What can I do for you now, Miss Hartman?" He asked with a fake smile.

"I can't get the big stuff on my own, and I was wondering-"

"We don't offer moving help here," he cut me off, turning back to his laptop like that was the end of our conversation.

"Well, if you would have let me finish instead of interrupting me-"

"Miss Hartman, just get your sh.it and get out," he cut me off again. "Haven't I done enough for you?" Then he scoffed and played his movie.

Oh, man, it really sucks to be Dave right now. He has no idea that my life is an utter mess at the moment. And quite frankly, I'm pretty sick of everyone assuming I'm just as kind as my parents were. Because I'm really just not.

I walked right up to Dave's desk and shut his laptop. His angry, little beady eyes snapped up to meet my eyes. Whatever he saw there had him snapping his lips shut before he could pi.ss me off further.

"If you keep interrupting me, I'm going to teach you the manners your momma never did," I stated, my voice calm but angry. "Shut the f***k up for once in your miserable life and just listen. I was just going to ask if I could leave it for the next tenant to use. If that's not okay, I'll figure it the f***k out like I always do. Even if I have to bring a chainsaw in and chop sh.it up. But do you really want to see me back here with a chainsaw, Dave? Do you?" I asked and he shook his head vigorously. "No, you don't," I agreed. "So, is it cool if I leave it?"

"Y-yeah, just not your mattress if that's there," he stuttered, frowning at me like I just pi.ssed in his cereal. "People get put off by that. Afraid of bed bugs and sh.it."

"Well, f***k!" I said loudly, slamming my hands on his desk. "I wouldn't blame them in this case. There's probably more to worry about than bed bugs on that mattress."

Dave gave me a strange look, but I ignored him and turned around. I was about to march my a.ss back up to my apartment and drag that heavy-as-sh.-it queen-sized mattress to the dumpster. I stopped after one step though, when I saw three guys standing in the doorway of Dave's office. Based off their amused expressions, they just caught the whole show.

I recognized them from school and around town. They're all part of The Salvation Knights MC. The twins graduated from high school with me, but we were never friends. They had a whole clique of their own, and I... liked to just be with my garden. Or Sophie if she could manage to drag me somewhere. The other guy I'd seen around before, but he wasn't from here originally. I believe he moved here sometime after I started college.

My eyes flickered to their cuts, wandering over the patches. I knew the twins' names, but not their road-names. Again, I don't know much, but I know enough to know that you never call a patched member by their government name. That was something I never even pushed my luck with around Jinx. Everyone's called him that since elementary school, but it's not like we didn't know his real name either, due to school. As much as I give Jinx sh.it, I'd never crossed that line.

I wasn't even sure what the big deal was about it, other than respect, and I'd had no problem disrespecting Jinx whenever I spoke to him. Again, something about the man irks me. I think it's that stupid smile of his. The one that lights up his whole face. Ugh!

"B-boys," Dave stuttered as he shot to his feet.

Why do I feel I'm the one interrupting something here?