Jacob and Bella Story

Chapter Ten

Bella's P.O.V.

The drive to La Push sped by like a glance at a sunset. My anxiety faded, replaced by a focus on the journey ahead. Suddenly, the trees grew sparse, unveiling the welcoming houses of the reservation.

As I strolled along the roadside, a tall boy in a baseball cap caught my eye. Anxiety twisted in my stomach; I was hoping for good luck. For a fleeting moment, I thought he might be Jacob. Yet, this boy was thicker around the middle; his hair was clipped short beneath his cap. I only saw his back, but deep down, I sensed it was Quil. Oddly, he seemed more significant than my memory recalled.

I crossed to the other side of the road, halting beside him. As my truck rumbled nearer, Quil lifted his gaze. His expression startled me more than it surprised me. Worry carved deep lines into his dark, troubled face.

"Oh, hey, Bella," Quil said.

Quil pointed to the small wooden rectangle at the back of the store." Hi, Quil...Are you okay?" I asked.

Quil stared at me morosely. "Fine," he responded.

"Can I give you a ride somewhere?" I asked.

"Sure, I guess."

Quil shuffled around to the front of the truck and opened the passenger door to climb in.

"Where to?" I asked.

"My house is on the north side, back behind the store," Quil responded.

"Have you seen Jacob today?"

I looked at Quil, eagerly waiting for an answer. He stared out the windshield for a second before he spoke. "From a distance."

"A distance?" I asked.

"I tried to follow them---he was with Embry," Quil responded. "I know they saw me. But they turned and disappeared into the trees. They were alone---I think Sam and his crew might have been with them. I've been stumbling around in the forest for an hour, yelling for them. I barely found the road again when you drove up."

"So Sam got to him," I said.

Quil stared at me, surprised. "You know about that?" he asked.

I nodded. "Jake told me... before," I responded.

"Before," Quil said and sighed.

"Is Jacob as bad as the others now?"

Quil turns his head and spits out the window. "Never leaves Sam's side," he says.

"And before that—did he avoid everyone? Was he acting upset?" I asked.

Quil's voice was low. "Not for as long as the others. Then Sam caught up with him," he said.

"What do you think it is? Drugs or something," I said.

"I can't see Jacob or Embry getting into anything like that, but what do I know? What else could it be? And why aren't the old people worried?" Quil said, shaking his head. Fear showed in his eyes now. "Jacob didn't aspire to be a part of this cult. I don't understand what could change him."

Quil stared at me, his face frightened. "I do not aspire to be next," he said.

My eyes mirrored fear. That was the second time I'd heard it described as a cult. I shivered. "Are your parents any help?" I asked.

Quil grimaced. "Right. My grandfather's on the council with Jacob's dad. Sam Uley is the best thing that ever happened to this place, as far as he's concerned," he said.

Our eyes locked on a lingering dance. We had arrived in La Push. My truck crawled down the empty road like a whisper through shadows. The village store beckoned up ahead, a beacon amid the muted.

"I'll get out now," Quil said. "My house is right over there."

Quil gestured toward the small wooden rectangle behind the store. I pulled over to the shoulder, and he jumped out.

"I'm going to wait for Jacob," I said.

"Good luck," Quil muttered, slamming the door with thunderous finality. He shuffled down the road, his head bowed low, shoulders sagging like heavy clouds.

Quil's face danced in my thoughts as I swung my truck around. He dreaded becoming the next victim in this twisted tale. What sinister forces were at play here?

I rolled up to Jacob's place, the engine purring its final lullaby. I kicked back, propping my feet on the dashboard, and settled in for a wait.

A flicker of movement caught my eye, drawing my attention. I turned to find Billy looking puzzled, peering through the window. I offered a quick wave and a tentative smile but stayed planted in my spot. With suspicion etched on his brow, he let the curtain fall, shrouding the view.

I was ready to wait forever, but needed something to distract me. At the bottom of my backpack, I found a reliable pen and an old test. With a flick of my wrist, I began sketching on the test's blank backside.

I had sketched a row of sparkling diamonds when—tap, tap! A sudden knock echoed through the air, making me leap. I glanced up, half-expecting to see Billy standing there.

Jacob's P.O.V.

A few days have passed since the vampire attack, and Bella is my constant muse. I've always had her in my thoughts, but now, it's like a wildfire—intense and consuming. Trying to tackle my pack responsibilities, I find my mind wandering back to her. This distraction is maddening; I can sense the pack's growing irritation. We're linked; they can hear my thoughts as quickly as I listen to theirs. And with every fleeting daydream, they've pieced it together: my heart has imprinted on Bella, and I can't escape this truth.

Sam is sharpening my heart. He understands how much I need her, as he knows Emily is essential to him. Yet, he worries I'm not quite ready for closeness. I share that fear; I'm unprepared. My heart aches to see Bella; each day apart is a painful reminder. I'm incomplete without her.

Bella's unexpected presence in my driveway jolted me like lightning. Relief surged within, colliding with waves of frustration and anger directed at me, not her. I yearned to step closer, to envelop her tenderly, or to grasp her hand softly. I craved that connection deeply. My inner wolf, Amarok, whined. He longed to close the gap, pulling her close, hugging her, and kissing her to death, but I had to stay away, which made me irritated.

I try to hold myself together as I tap on her window. It startled her, and Bella opened her window.

"What are you doing here?" I spat, a growl lurking in my throat.

Bella didn't speak. She looked at me, astonished, and admired my features. I glared at her with impatience, waiting for her to speak.

"Jacob?" Bella whispered.

Shit, I missed her beautiful voice. It brings out something in me. I could feel my wolf purring, which was not a good sign. "What do you want?" I growled in frustration.

Bella's eyes widened at my tone. "I want to talk to you," she responded.

"Go ahead," I hissed with frustration, clenching my teeth.

I could feel my hands shaking as I glared at her again, waiting for her to speak.

"Alone!" Bella hissed.

I turned to look at the pack, and everyone turned to see Sam's reaction. Sam nodded at me and spoke in Quileute to me, telling me I could be alone with Bella for a minute. Sam then, without hesitation, stepped into my house with Paul, Jared, and Embry.

I sighed and took a deep breath to calm my wolf around her. Keeping my distance would not be easy, but we needed to talk.

"All right," I murmured.

Bella took a deep breath and spoke. "You know what I want to know," she said.

I shot a dagger at her, and she held my gaze. The silence was as thick as fog. I knew this would come. She wants to know what's going on and why I have avoided her. I didn't think it would be this time.

"Can we walk?" Bella asked.

I didn't respond, and Bella exited her truck and headed north toward the trees. I followed her, walking beside her.

We walked in silence. I increased my pace and strode ahead. I then turned around, blocking Bella from walking any further.

I sighed again. "Let's get this over with already," I said.

Bella stood before me, crossing her arms and waiting for me to speak.

"It's not what you think," I said. "It's not what I thought—I was way off."

"So what is it, then?" Bella asked.

I looked at her with anger. "I can't share," I responded, my voice firm.

I wanted to tell her I did. I needed to. She's my imprintee. I must share with her, but can I? Sam has forbidden me. My jaw tightened in frustration at this.

"I thought we were friends," Bella whispered, clenching her teeth.

"We were," I said.

I hated seeing Bella hurt, and I could sense her pain. It was our bond.

"But I see friends aren't your priority anymore," Bella remarked with bitterness. "You've got Sam now. Isn't that lovely? You've always idolized him."

"I didn't understand him before," I said.

"And now you've realized it. Hallelujah."

"It wasn't like I thought it would be. This isn't Sam's fault. He's helping me as much as he can."

"Is he helping you?" Bella asked.

I looked past Bella, my eyes blazing with fury at where the pack was from a view of the forest. This situation was frustrating. I couldn't tell the love of my life, my imprintee, what I was. My hands shook again, and I inhaled deeply, keeping myself together so I wouldn't phase in front of her and hurt Bella.

"No one can help me." My voice broke.

"What did he do to you?" Bella asked, tears collecting in her eyes.

Seeing her cry got to me more; my wolf felt it, too.

"Tell her. Sam can't control you anymore. Tell her now," Amarok spoke in my head.

"What about Sam?" I asked. "What about the rules?"

"It doesn't matter. She's our imprintee. She's meant to know."

I nodded at him.

Suddenly, I felt free, like someone had lifted something off my chest.

I need to tell her, but is it a good time?

Suddenly, Bella tried to touch me, but I instantly backed away to keep my distance from hurting her. "Don't touch me," I demanded.

Bella looked at me suspiciously. "Is Sam keeping an eye out?" she mumbled.

Suddenly, I saw tears well up in her beautiful brown eyes, and she wiped them away and crossed her arms. I felt an ache in my chest from hurting her, but I kept myself together.

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Stop blaming Sam," I snapped.

"Then who should I blame?" Bella asked.

I half-smiled. "You don't want to know," I responded.

"The hell I do!" Bella snapped. "I want to know, and I want to know now."

"You're wrong," I snapped.

"Don't you dare tell me I'm wrong—I'm not the one who got brainwashed! Tell me now whose fault this is if it's not your precious Sam!"

If she wanted to know why we are who we are, that's fine; I'll tell her.

"You asked for it," I hissed. "If you're hunting for someone to blame, why not aim that finger at those filthy, reeking bloodsuckers you adore?"

Bella gasped, struggling to catch her breath. She had a shocked expression on her face.

I shook my head. "I told you this is something you don't want to hear," I said.

"I don't understand who you mean," Bella said.

I raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "I think you understand exactly who I mean. You will not make me say it, will you?" I asked.

Bella nodded.

I sighed. "The Cullens," I drawled, stretching the syllables like taffy. "I can see how their name triggers something deep within you."

Bella shook her head, trying to comprehend this, and then she spoke. "Don't tell me you're listening to Billy's superstitious nonsense now."

"He knows more than I gave him credit for," I said.

"Be serious, Jacob."

I glared at her, and Bella spoke again. "Superstitious aside, I still don't see what you're accusing the... Cullens of. They left more than half a year ago. How can you blame them for what Sam is doing now?"

"Sam isn't doing anything, Bella. And I know they're gone. But sometimes things are set in motion, and then it's too late," I said.

"What's set in motion? What's too late? What are you blaming them for?"

"For existing," I seethed.

I felt a stir of anger inside me again. I was fuming in front of Bella.

"You're being ridiculous," Bella said.

"Fine." I breathe deeply. "I won't argue with you. It doesn't matter anyway. The damage is done."

"What damage?"

I shook my head, changing the subject. "Let's head back; there's nothing more to say," I remarked, my voice unsteady.

There is so much I need to say to her, but it's not a good time, especially with the pack nearby.

"There's nothing more to say! You have said nothing yet!" Bella yelled.

I said nothing and walked past her before heading back toward the house. As I did, Bella suddenly spoke.

"I ran into Quil today!" Bella yelled.

I paused but didn't turn.

"You remember your friend Quil? Yeah, he's terrified," Bella said.

I turned to look at her with a painful expression. "Quil," I said.

Just thinking about Quil made me sad. I miss talking to him. He was one of my best friends.

"He's worried about you. He's freaked out," Bella said.

I stared past her with desperate eyes.

"He's frightened that he's next," Bella said.

I clutched a tree for support, my face turning green. "He won't be next," I muttered to myself. "He can't be. It's over now. This shouldn't be happening. Why? Why?"

I slammed against the tree, and it snapped off loudly. I looked at it, shocked with horror. "I need to return," I murmured urgently.

"Back to Sam!" Bella yelled.

"That's one way of looking at it," I said.

I walked away from her, and my wolf spoke. "You need to tell her. Do I have to do it for you?" Amarok spoke in my head.

"Not now!" I yelled. "It's not a good time, and it's not safe."

I blocked my wolf out and heard Bella sprinting toward me. "Hold up!" she shouted.

I spun around; my irritation got the best of me, and I started shaking again.

"Go home, Bella," I said. "I can't be around you."

I could see the hurt in Bella's eyes and felt that ache in my chest again. Her eyes filled with tears again, and I wanted to wipe them away.

"Is this... the end of us?" Bella asked.

I barked out a bitter laugh. "Hardly. If that were the case, I'd say, 'let's stay friends.' I can't even say that," I said.

Bella walked closer, and I tensed up, feeling my heart race. "Jacob... why? Sam won't let you have other friends?" she asked.

Bella tried to reach for my hand, but I moved away again, even though I wanted to touch her hand again.

I felt pity. I wanted to tell Bella everything, but didn't know if I could. What if she took it wrong? What if she had never aspired to be with me? I showed no emotion as I spoke. "I'm sorry, Bella."

"I...I'm sorry that I couldn't... before. I wish I could change my feelings about you now, Jacob, but I can't. I felt something for you, Jacob. I do. I can't explain it. I need you more than I could ever know," Bella said.

My eyes widened at her words. Bella has feelings for me. Now, how could I not tell her?

Bella spoke again. "I need time, though. Maybe I can get help or something, but don't quit on me now, Jake. I can't take it."

Bella was on the verge of crying, and my muscles tightened at her words. I looked at her with sorrow. I couldn't take it anymore. I hate seeing her like this. It hurts my heart. My one trembling hand reached out to her, grabbing her hand, and I felt those familiar electric shocks flow through my body. The feeling was so much stronger than before. I flickered at the feeling and let go.

"No. Please, Bella, don't let those thoughts take root. Don't carry this burden; it's not your fault. This one is all on me. I promise it's not about you," I said.

"It's not you, it's me," Bella said. "There's a new one."

"I mean it, Bella. I'm not... I'm not good."

Bella stared at me, confused and appalled. "What?" she asked. "What are you saying? You're much better than I am, Jake. You're good—you're good for me. Who told you that you aren't Jacob? Don't let him tell you that!"

My expression hardened. "I didn't need anyone to say a word. I know who I am," I declared.

"You're my friend; that's what you are! Jake—don't," Bella yelled.

"Bella..."

"Please tell me, Jake. Tell me, what's wrong with you?"

I want to tell her. I have to, but not here. You know what? I will share it with her tonight.

I sighed and grabbed Bella's hand as the guys were near the window, waiting for me to enter. I pulled her behind the house and pushed her up against the wall, and Bella looked at me in surprise.

"Look, I'm not supposed to tell you, but I'm going to tell you anyway, not here, though," I whispered.

Bella blinked twice and nodded. I kissed her forehead and spoke. "I've got to go. I'll see you tonight at your house."

Bella said nothing but nodded.

I walked away from her and headed inside my house.

Bella's P.O.V.

I stood there frozen, breathless. My eyes landed on the tiny house. Inside, silence reigned unbroken. The curtain's edge lay still—no voices, no movement, a void. The house gazed back at me, blank and unmoved.

The rain drizzled like tiny arrows, stinging my skin with each drop. The house spellbound me, its silhouette haunting the horizon. Jacob said he would see me later and tell me.

Suddenly, the door creaked open, releasing a breath I had been holding. Billy rolled his chair into the doorway. Behind him? An empty void waits in silence.

"Charlie called Bella. I told him you were on your way home," Billy said.

I nodded, and like a robot, I turned and got into my truck. With the windows open, the seats were damp and slippery. It was pointless—I was already drenched.

When I got home, Charlie was waiting for me on the porch. As I pulled in, he walked out to meet me.

"Billy called. He said you and Jacob talked," Charlie explained as he opened my door.

"Yeah, kind of. He's said he's coming over later, but I'm not sure," I responded.

Charlie put his arm around me and helped me out of my car. "All right, that's fine," he said.

I nodded in silence, and Charlie pulled the afghan off the back of the sofa and wrapped it around my shoulders. I realized I was still shivering.

"Well, I'm going to go change," I said.

Charlie nodded. "Okay," he said.

Despite my steamy shower, my skin was still an iceberg. Chill clung to me like an unwelcome guest until I finally doused the water. I toweled off and eased the bathroom door ajar, releasing a breath of warmth.

I slipped into bed, clad in my softest pajamas. Despair wrapped around me like a heavy blanket. I was thinking about Jacob, and for the first time, my aching heart whispered sweet temptations. I was craving to be near him now, and when I'm not, I feel pain, and it's killing me. I hoped he would come by and tell me his secret. Eventually, sleep embraced me while silent tears fell like forgotten stars.

Jacob never came, and I ended up sleeping for hours. Last night, a different dream danced in my mind. As Jacob strolled beside me, each step echoing on the dry gravel, rain fluttered. This was not the Jacob I knew; he was a bittersweet, graceful stranger. His movements, like water flowing over stones, captivated me. Suddenly, his appearance morphed, shifting like shadows in the twilight.

The color drained from his face, from russet to a ghostly pallor. First, his eyes ignited in gold, transformed to crimson, and then returned to gold's warm embrace. The wind tousled his cropped hair, turning it bronze where it kissed the sky.

That stunning visage shattered my heart like glass. I reached out, longing to bridge the gap, yet Jacob recoiled, hands raised in silent defense. Like that, Edward vanished into the mist.

In the stillness of darkness, I awoke uncertainly. Were my tears born from sleep? Fixated on the shadowy ceiling, time felt frozen. It was the depths of the night, and drowsiness weighed heavily on my eyelids. I closed my eyes with a soft sigh, longing for a dreamless night's embrace.

That's when the noise woke me. A high-pitched scraping sound ran along my window like fingernails on glass.

Jacob's P.O.V.

Hours drifted by, and the desire to see Bella was an agony I could hardly bear. The closer I was to her, the sharper the sting of absence felt. Our connection is undeniable, like a thread tightening with each heartbeat.

I was doing the midnight shift and patrolling our treaty line. I desperately needed to sneak away and see Bella and tell her my secret. I walked back and forth in circles, my wolf's form debating whether I should. I wanted to see her, but the pack would wonder where I was. I couldn't decide. I continued to move in circles until I couldn't take it anymore. Bella was more important to me than any pack duty. I had to see her.

I growled and took off to Forks and Bella's house.