Claiming What Was Mine

Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

Kael’s POV

The ice is a blade beneath my skates. I carve into it like I'm trying to kill it, slamming into every player who dares get in my way. My stick cracks against the puck, sending it screaming into the net. The goalie doesn't even flinch...he's learned not to bother.

"Easy, Captain." Leo skates past me, his breath fogging. "It's just practice."

I don't answer.

My body is screaming... my knee throbs, my shoulders ache, my lungs burn. But the pain is nothing compared to the empty ache in my chest. Every time I close my eyes, I see her. Feel her hands on my skin. Hear her voice telling me to prove it.

Prove it.

How the hell am I supposed to prove anything when she won't even look at me?

I hit the boards harder than necessary. The impact rattles my teeth.

Jax slides to a stop beside me. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Nothing," I snap, raking my hands through my hair.

I let out a breath.

"Bullshit. You've been playing like you're trying to kill someone. And I know it's not the Steel Wolves." Jax said, narrowing his eyes at me. "It's her, isn't it? The PT."

I don't answer as I shove past him. "Stay out of it."

"She's got you twisted up, man. I've never seen you like this."

I slam my stick against the glass. "I said stay out of it!"

The team goes silent. Even the Zamboni driver pauses.

I breathe. In. Out. Force the wolf back.

Practice ends in uneasy quiet. I head to the treatment room even though nothing is wrong with me. I just find myself heading toward her.

Elara doesn't notice me watching by the windows or maybe she does and just pretends not to see me. Leo is with her again. f*****g hell.

I don't hear what he is saying and I don't care to listen. All I see is Elara laughing and that makes my blood boil.

Even my wolf is feral.

What's funny? What's making her laugh this much? Leo doesn't deserve to breathe the same air as her.

I rip off my gloves and stalk toward the room. Leo sees me first and the smile that was on his face initially wipes off.

"Captain..."

"Leave."

He doesn't argue. He's smart enough to know when to retreat. He slips past me, and I'm alone with her.

She's still smiling. It fades when she sees me.

"Alpha Blackthorn," she says coldly. She doesn't even raise her head to look at me. "You're not on my schedule."

"I don't give a damn about your schedule."

I advance on her. She doesn't back down, but I see the flicker in her eyes. The fear. The anger. The thing she tries so hard to hide.

"I saw you," I growl. "Laughing at his jokes. Letting him touch you."

"He was showing me a file. He didn't touch me," she argues.

"Don't lie to me."

Her eyes flash. "Who the hell do you think you are?"

"Your mate."

She laughs. Actually laughs. I don't find it funny though.

"You think you can just say that? You think claiming me now makes up for what you did?" She steps forward, close enough that I can feel the heat of her. "You humiliated me. You threw me away like I was garbage. And now you want to play alpha?"

I sigh. "Elara..."

"No." She points at my chest. "You don't get to do this. You don't get to show up after four years and act like you have a claim."

I reach for her, desperate. "I know I broke you. I know I don't deserve you. But I can't stop the bond. I can't stop wanting you."

Her eyes glisten. "Wanting isn't enough."

"Then tell me what is."

She shakes her head. "You have to earn it. And so far, all you've done is make demands."

I feel the truth of her words like a blade to the chest. She's right. I've been demanding. Taking. Just like before.

"I don't..."

"I should have never come here." She moves across the room, away from me. I grab her before she can walk away. My hands on her arms, firm but not rough. Her pulse beats against my palm like a trapped bird.

And then a vision appears in front of my skull, the sight of her leaving again.

No.

I can't bear that pain anymore.

"Don't leave," I plead. She looks up at me, and I see the war in her eyes. The part of her that wants to stay. The part that's terrified I'll break her again.

"What did you want me to do Kael?" She asks, her hands clenching into fists. "How can I trust that you've changed?"

"I'm not him anymore."

"Then act like it," she barks at me. The silence stretches between us. I don't let go. She doesn't pull away.

And then I realize...I have no idea what to do. I've spent my whole life dominating. Taking. Fighting. No one ever taught me how to earn something.

"How?" I ask, and my voice sounds broken. "How do I prove it?"

She looks at me, and in her eyes, I see the ghost of the girl I broke. The girl who trusted me. The girl who loved me.

"The first step," she says, "is letting go. We are not meant to be."