Growing Grounds

Chapter 18: Growing Pains

Tammy didn’t mention the unfamiliar voice she had heard upstairs at the antique shop any more than she mentioned craving moss. They drove along Main Street amicably quiet with the radio burring some snoozy, boozy country song at a decent volume.

The local nursery was down to thin pickings this late in the year, but Tammy insisted on stopping and shopping.

“If we don’t stop now, I’ll be forced to buy some crappy Walmart greenery that will wither and die a week after we take it home. I want something that will last as long as I take care of it. A few things actually. If I can’t find them here, I’ll ask how to transplant them from the forest.”

“All right. The lady wants plants, we will buy her plants!” Matt pulled the truck off the paved road at the end of Main Street and maneuvered carefully, not wanting to damage the birdcage in the bed, along a rutted gravel road toward the nursery.

Nearing the nursery, Tammy fancied that she could smell the different plants just like she could smell the food cooking at Mom-N-Pops half a block before they reached the place. Her stomach growled loudly and she laid a hand on it. The babies moved, rolled, turned, and whimpered as they drew even closer. Tammy reached for the door handle before Matt had completely stopped the truck.

“Whoa! We have plenty of time, hon. Place doesn’t close until dark.” He chuckled and jumped out of the driver’s seat.

“I know. I’m just excited is all.” Tammy gave him a quick peck on the mouth and rushed to the side of the nursery and through the open doorway.

The babies’ movements became more accentuated, more acute as soon as she stepped inside and the aroma of living greenery enveloped them. She was so hungry. Apparently so were the twins. Tammy rushed for the side display racks where the miniature gardens sat. Quick as a snake strike, she snatched the greenest moss she saw, bent to one knee behind the table, and crammed it into her mouth before Matt got inside.

“Tammy? Where’d you go?” Matt called from the entrance.

Tammy chewed faster, swallowing what she could manage without choking. Matt walked in the other direction. Listening for his footsteps, Tammy finished chewing the moss and swallowed several times, hoping her teeth weren’t stained green when she stood. Swiping at her mouth several times with the inside of her shirt, Tammy prepared to call out to Matt.

“Over here, Matt.” She hoped there was no trace evidence of the moss stuck in her teeth.

“Ah. Did you find anything of interest over here?” He asked as he made his way to her side.

“Nope. Not yet, anyway.” Self-conscious about her teeth now, Tammy made sure to keep her head tilted and turned just enough that Matt couldn’t see her mouth very well. “I think I only want green plants, though. I’m thinking of allergies. Wouldn’t be good to have flowering plants that might make the twins sick.”

“I’m glad you’re thinking for the both of us. I had already been eyeing those roses over there.” He pointed to a section of roses near the entrance. “How about ferns? Like these?” He pointed out some tiny ferns, baby ferns.

“Those are cute. They’re babies. They could grow up with the twins!” She smiled, liking the idea.

Tammy reached for the fern plants and a sharp pain ripped through her midsection, taking her breath. A ragged breath later, she was bent at the waist, holding on to the edge of the table for support. Another pain ripped through her, from hipbone to hipbone, and she crumpled to her knees despite Matt’s efforts to keep her standing. He was yelling something completely incoherent to her. All she could focus on was the intense pain.

Matt cradled her against his chest, still speaking incoherently. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and wrapped her arms around her own middle.

“I think I’m losing the babies! I can’t lose them, too. Help me, Matt! I’m losing them!” The sound of her own frantic screams followed her down into unconsciousness. The world was black, warm, and silent for a while.

Discomfort woke Tammy sometime later. Remembering the excruciating pain at the nursery, she moved gingerly, slowly. Opening her eyes in a room that was far too bright, Tammy groaned and fought to keep them open. Through the tiny slits, she could see that she was in a hospital room and daylight flooded the place.

“Honey? Are you awake? Oh, baby are you all right?” Matt was by her side and now stood, leaning over her, showering her face with kisses, tears in his eyes.

“Did I lose them, Matt?” The sob in her voice nearly rendered her unable to speak.

“No! They’re fine. They’re healthy as can be. The doctor just left a few minutes ago. He said you are farther along than we first thought, though.” He kissed her hands and then her face again.

Gladness flooded Tammy’s heart. She had been sure she was losing the twins and she’d been sure it was because she had eaten the moss. Hearing that they were healthy lightened her burden.

What is wrong with me? Eating things that animals should graze on. I’m crazy. I’m certifiable. I’ll be in a room up at Daisy Lawn with Cindy if I keep this up.

“What caused the pain? Did he say?” Tammy wondered if the moss had done something to her. Silently she vowed to straighten up and stop eating vegetation that wasn’t for human consumption.

“Dr. Hyder said it was most likely the rate at which the pregnancy is progressing. The babies are stretching not only your skin, but your ligaments and tendons as well. He said it’s not dangerous, just that it can sometimes be very painful.”

“How far along am I? Do they know for sure?”

“He seems to think that you are at least six months in. He ordered another ultrasound for this afternoon. We’ll finally get to see our babies.” Matt kissed her again and again, laughing and crying all at the same time.

Smiling, Tammy pushed at him. “You’re going to break your kisser, stop it.”

Looking around the room, Tammy wondered how long she’d been there. Could it really have been overnight? The sunlight poured through the window at a low, bright angle that only happens in the mornings.

“How long have I been in here?” Holding up her arms, Tammy inspected them and saw several needle punctures that were not fresh; some had even started to bruise.

Matt put his hand through his hair and looked down. “Uh, you’ve been in here three days, honey.”

An electric jolt seemed to run the length of her body at the news. She shook her head. “There’s no way, Matt. I would have known. I didn’t even have a dream. That’s not possible. Now, how long have I really been here?”

“Three days. They didn’t know why you wouldn’t wake up. They ran a battery of tests and everything came back normal. Dr. Hyder seems to think that it could be stress. He says you might be worrying because of the miscarriage before and it’s exhausted your mind and body. You needed a little vacation, so your body imposed one.” He chuckled dryly.

“I want to go home now.”

She flipped the covers off with one hand and tried to sit straight. Her belly looked and felt huge. It was much larger than it had been prior to entering the nursery. And before eating that moss, her mother’s voice interjected.

Matt restrained her from sitting. “Honey. The doctor doesn’t want you to sit up for a while yet. He’s afraid you’ll become dizzy and fall. He left orders to take it very slow.”

“Why? Because I might miscarry again?”

“No, he says you’re far enough along now that you don’t have to worry about that. But sometimes twins are born earlier than single babies. I think maybe he doesn’t want to risk you falling down and the jolt starting early contractions.” Matt helped her lie back on the bed and then used the buttons on the side to raise her into a sitting position.

Weakly, Tammy said, “I want to go home now, Matt. Really. Just take me home and let me sleep in our bed. Please?”

“I know you do. I want to take you home, too, but they’re going to keep you at least another twenty-four hours. Just in case. I think it’s for the best, too and I’ll be right here with you. I won’t leave.”

And Tammy knew he wouldn’t leave her side. That was of little concern to her. What did concern her was that the distance from a normal hospital room to a padded room was short. Very short sometimes. Like when crazy runs in the family history. If she gave birth in a mental institution, she would not get to be with her babies.

Lunch was served, Tammy didn’t eat much, and Dr. Hyder came back. He scolded her semi-playfully for not eating lunch.

“You’re eating for three now, Tammy. Make an effort to do better, eh?” He looked over top of his glasses at her as he scribbled something on the clipboard at the foot of her bed.

Tammy nodded. “When can I go home? I hate hospitals.”

Laughing, Dr. Hyder replaced the clipboard, and said, “Don’t we all?” He rolled his eyes and laughed again as he moved to her side. “You’ll get to go home probably before lunch tomorrow. If you behave. You have to actually eat a couple of these meals—I know they’re not gourmet, but they’ll suffice until you can get out of here.” He patted her forearm reassuringly.

“All right. I’ll try.” Tammy was fresh out of small talk. She couldn’t think of a single thing to say to Dr. Hyder

Dr. Hyder turned to Matt and said, “Would you mind if I spoke to her alone for a minute, Mr. Milner? It’ll just take two or three minutes.” Though phrased as a question, the good doctor’s tone implied it wasn’t a request. Not really.

Matt nodded. “Sure. Whatever you need to do, doc.” He went to the door and stepped into the hallway.

Dr. Hyder watched until the pneumatic hinge fully decompressed and allowed the door latch to click into place and then he turned to Tammy. “Tammy, I need to ask you a few questions. I don’t care how strange the answers are, just tell me the truth. Can you do that?”

The monitor registered her heightened pulse rate. “Of course.” She could see the padded room in her future. Dr. Hyder surely had found out she was grazing on greenery and having conversations with her unborn twins.

“When you were admitted, Tammy, the nurse found some, uh, moss in your mouth. Do you know how that got in your mouth?”

Now she knew how a cornered mouse felt. Should she lie? Tell the truth? And risk going for an extended visit to Daisy Lawn? No, thank you. But he would see a lie. Probably before it ever came out of her mouth.

“We were in a nursery. Surely Matt told you that.” Unwavering eye contact was a sure sign that a person was telling the truth. Though she wanted to glance away from his level stare, she would not. He had to believe her or she was doomed.

Finally, after a hundred years, Dr. Hyder nodded. “All right. Is Matt positively, no doubt about it at all, the father?”

Snorting laughter, without hesitation, she said, “Yes!”

“Then where did you have tests done, tests that you didn’t tell Matt about, that told you the sexes of the twins—and that you were having twins in the first place?” He removed his glasses and sat back in the seat.

“I can feel that they’re twins, Dr. Hyder. They’ve been moving for a long time and I feel their separate movements.” She hadn’t expected this line of questioning. It had caught her off guard.

“I can buy that. I’ve heard others say the same thing. But, how do you know they are a boy and a girl? Why not two girls or two boys? Matt says you’re adamant about it.”

“I just know. Why can no one believe me about that? I just know.” The beeping of the heart monitor sped up again. What all had Matt told Dr. Hyder? And why? That was their business, and she didn’t want others involved. Not even Dr. Hyder.

“All right, Tammy. Don’t get worked up. I just had to ask. Now, you eat and we’ll see about getting you out of here tomorrow morning after breakfast. How’s that sound?” He stood, smiling again, as if nothing were out of the ordinary.

Tammy didn’t know if that eased her mind that everything was truly okay, or if it disturbed her that her doctor could go from jolly and gentle to intense and distrustful and then back to jolly so quickly. She nodded, tears pricking at the backs of her eyes.

Dr. Hyder left and Matt came back in.

“Is everything all right? What did he say, hon?” Matt leaned over her again.

“Everything’s fine. He said if I eat a couple of the terrible and bland meals here that he will release me after breakfast in the morning.”

“That’s great! Hey, do you want—”

Tammy interrupted him, not because she was angry with him but because she needed to shut down and get her emotions under control. If she started crying, she might slip up. If she let something, like the moss or the conversations, slip…

“Matt? Please. I just want to go back to sleep until they come to do the ultrasound. My head hurts and the light is too bright in here.” She turned onto her side facing away from Matt, pulled the cover up and over her shoulder, curled into a semi-fetal position and closed her eyes.