Into Another World: Kalibutan

Ending a Cursed Life

Tonight, I’ll surely end my miserable life. I’m ready to die and I’m already walking towards the bridge, where I planned to jump over. I already prepared everything so I cannot back out, I left my last letter to my parents. The only thing I regret in this life is that I wasn’t able to be the best daughter to my parents. I’m their only child left since my brother died serving as a soldier two years ago. I’m sorry for them but I cannot continue living in this kind of life.

If you’re asking how I feel now that any moment I’ll be facing the angel of death, I don’t know I’m feeling numb and exhausted from everything that happened.  The only thing I knew is that it's better to end this.

As I’m going near to the bridge it started raining so hard, as if the sky is crying for my lonely soul.

The rain did not stop instead it pours hardly as I reached the bridge. I looked below the bridge I saw how violent the waves are caused by the rain and the strong winds. I knew that if I jump now it will be the end for me.

I took a deep breath and at a count of five, I jumped without any hesitation. As I fall in the cold raging water, I started to see my past life. My memories started to flow inside my mind, showing those good and bad days I had.

Reminisce of those cursed days was the one I first saw, reminding me how miserable I was. I was abandoned by my fiancée or should I say my groom, on the day of our wedding. He left me to be with  his best friend. I tried moving on but it affected my daily life. I handled the cases assigned to me poorly, thus, I lost most of them. I was known as one of the best lawyers, I handled cases relating to family matters and mostly involving divorce. For almost a year  I gain nothing but failures, my clients lose their faith to me.

A month ago I received a demand letter for a loan I cannot recall. I tried my best to remember when did I had such a huge loan and when I was able to recall I started crying I wanted to kill myself and that good for nothing ex of mine. I took that loan for him two months before our supposed marriage. He asked me to take such a loan for his another business venture, he cannot take another loan for he had previous loans for his failed business plans. How stupid I was to take such a loan for him.

The people in the law firm where I worked learned those things and started gossiping and creating rumors about how unlucky I was. I was given another name and was known as the Unlucky Maiden. My parents also knew that and even asked me to stop working and tried to have a vacation to forget everything. But how can I forget when everything reminds me how hopeless I am.

As the bad memories started flooding my mind, my body started to goes deeper into the water.  At last, I was happy to say goodbye to my unfortunate life or I thought I was.

After those horrible memories that play through my mind, a set of precious memories came through. Good memories showing me that my life was not as awful as I imagined it is. If only I had remembered those days maybe I wasn’t here waiting for my last breath to end.

When my memories with my parents started to play that’s when I realized I made a wrong decision. I tried accepting that it's too late and the only thing I can do was to accept I’m going to die as I planned. But no matter how hard I tried to accept it the memories keeps on playing like telling me to continue to live.

I thought I can only see my memories but I started hearing voices, particularly the voices of my parents. I heard my mom’s sobs and my dad’s voice trying to comfort her. I can feel their sadness of losing their child. I feel how tormenting it will be for them to lose me after losing my brother.

At that moment, I realized I was wrong for doing such a reckless act. I still wanted to live for my parents.

I tried gathering the remaining strength I had to live. I tried to swim upward to grasp some air but I almost have no energy to do that. The river and its waves are fighting my will to live. 

For the past few years of having terrible experiences I never prayed, but now that I am in this situation the only thing I can do is to pray.  I started praying and even tried to call every single saint I have known.

I promised to cherish my second life if I will be given a chance to live again. I’ll be the best daughter to my parents.

As I am trying to live, my body already accepted its ending. My body started to fall in the depths of the river and I knew that at any moment I will lose my last breath.

I accepted that I’m going to die but I continued praying that some help will come for me.

Until a bright light covers my entire body and I feel my body becomes light as if I’m floating. I already lose my hope of living. I thought that it might be the signal that I’m going to meet the grim reaper.

I heard an unfamiliar voice from nowhere, it keeps on calling my name. I thought that maybe the reaper is checking whether he will be collecting the right soul. 

“Yes. You found the right soul; it is me Daphne Sales the one that committed suicide by jumping into the river.” I answered back.

After answering the voice that I heard, I lost my consciousness.