IF YOU’LL HAVE US
1113 Words
MELANIE
They exchange knowing looks, seemingly avoiding my gaze.
“I’m right here,” I call out, drawing their attention back to myself.
“If you have something to say to me, say it while I’m standing here, right in front of you.”
Cassian heaves a sigh.
“Why don’t you come have…”
“No.” I fire at him.
“I don’t want to sit down. Not until you tell me why you went behind my back to do whatever it is you did to Brandon, that had him calling me.”
Val’s face twists in a deadly scowl. I swallow hard, looking away to avoid the intensity of his gaze.
But when my eyes meet Xavier’s, his is even worse.
“I know you’re not mad at us right now for helping you.” He says through clenched teeth.
“Help? Help?” I stomp towards them, fingers tightened into fists at my sides.
“I never asked for your help!”
“You did,” Val cuts in, green eyes laced with anger as he stares at me.
Even in the depth of all that rage, the care twinkling underneath it all makes my stomach turn.
He pushes his chair backwards and rises to his feet, towering above me, hands in his pocket.
His domineering presence forces me to take two steps backwards. It’s impossible to stand close to him like this, to be the object of his sheer focus.
“You asked for our help the second you called me. You remember what you said?” He starts to walk towards me, and my heart beats loudly against my chest with every step he takes.
“Hi, it’s me. Melanie,” He repeats my words with his dark baritone.
“You can’t…”
“I need your help?”
“I didn’t…”
“That’s enough, Melanie.”
I stagger backwards, falling into the chair Penelope was previously seated on.
I want to turn my face away from him, hide the anxiety and desire in my own eyes, but I can’t. He won’t let me.
The vein along his temple pulses as he stares at me. Tattoos disappearing beneath the rolled sleeves of his black shirt.
Then, he turns away without another word.
The air shifts immediately he does, a bright smile forming on his face as he picks his cup of coffee and raises it to his lip.
“Now, where were we?”
Is that it?
He thinks he can silence me into thinking what he did was okay?
Can’t he see?
Can’t any of them see that I am tired, so tired of being at the mercy of people.
At the mercy of my mother, at the mercy of their father, at the mercy of Brandon, and now them.
It’s all entirely exhausting.
Nobody…nobody ever takes me or what I want seriously.
“He…he threatened me.”
I hate how my voice breaks when I speak.
If I want to be taken seriously, the last thing I should do is f*****g cry so much!
But it seems to be all I can do whenever I open my mouth to speak, and I hate it.
I’m either a raging b***h or a sad helpless potato. And why? For what?
I look up from my shaking fingers, to find them all staring at me.
“He called me this morning, and he threatened me.”
Xavier is the first to get up from his seat. He moves around the table, his steps echoing in the hall.
He pushes Pen’s messy breakfast plate to the side, and leans against the edge of the table.
With Val to my right, Cassian to my left, and now Xavier in front of me, I’m left with no other choice than to admit to the awful thing I’ve done.
“I’m still married to him, and he made sure I remembered that. And what we did last night…” Slowly, I start to make sense of all the emotions rushing through me.
The anger, the anxiety, the confusion, the guilt, and the shame—Guilt that I’m not any better than he is.
I cheated on him last night, just like he did to me. I was so carried away by the first sign of care shown to me, that I forgot myself.
“I’m still a married woman. We never…we didn’t get divorced.”
I wait for the look of shock to come on their faces. My willingness last night must have deceived them. Surely, they should be mad at me.
Right?
They’re not saying anything, but by the look on their faces…they know.
Xavier slowly smiles, eyes twinkling with delight as he cups my right cheek, his thumb slowly caressing the side of my face.
I find myself fighting the urge not to lean into it, my cheeks growing hotter and hotter.
“We didn’t think you got divorced, sweet cheeks.” He breaks the silence.
“So… why did you…?”
“One look at your body was more than enough to tell us all we needed to know.” Cassian’s voice is soft and reassuring as he reaches for my right hand.
“You don’t owe a monster like that loyalty. You don’t owe him anything,” Val continues.
“We don’t want you to think, not even for a second, that you do.”
“He’s the father of my child,” I say, as if to remind them, to remind myself.
“Penelope loves him, perhaps more than she loves me, and I can’t…”
“Don’t say that.” Cassian squeezes my hand, and I face him.
“You’re her mother. I cannot begin to imagine the things you’ve had to endure to protect her. She will understand.”
I shake my head, tears pouring down my eyes.
“You don’t get it. Pen…she’s not…she’s not like other kids. Brandon…he was the one who knew what to say to her, how to make her feel better. I was just…I don’t know how I can do this alone.”
“But you’re not alone,” Val says, rising from his seat once again.
This time, the imposing air isn’t there.
It’s calm and sturdy, like a rock for me to lean against.
“We’re here, with you…” Lean and long fingers wrap around my collar bone, spreading to the front of my throat, around my neck.
He pushes my chin up, moving my eyes to his face.
“For you. If you’ll have us.”
“Why?”
I blurt out.
It’s the only thing that makes sense.
His lips curve into a grin.
- Writer
