Each Silent Emotion | Complete

4. Butterfly

If it were a usual work day Monday for her, she'd be out of bed ready to get over with it already, just a few steps stood between her and the office premises as earphones player her distorted playlist—that was a rollercoaster of emotions—blocking out sounds of cars honking, chatter from the people around, everything out of her mind. Her gaze would soon fall on the analogy wrist watch, as always the time would be 7:10AM, extremely early for a working day that began at 8 and ending at 4.

Arriving at the office as early as she didn't wasn't to chase employ of the month or a promotion, Moon had this habit she found hard to explain and Nia found weird. She had creeping anxiety and a near mentally breakdown at the thought of being late, she liked her routine being just that—easy and prefected—which mean if she had to be in her office before a single person showed up, so be it, as long as she didn't panic about being late.

7AM, was the perfect time.

But that didn't change her mindset on working hours, 8 till 4, she only worked during that time as per her contract terms. When her desk was in sight and her feet a few feet away from it, her legs released of the burden of taking the stairs to kill time on her office chair—Moon read novels, webtoons or One piece new manga updates she hadn't caught up on, she watched her shows until the clock was exactly past 8.

Anyway, back to her unusual non working Monday. Moon who would be at work or probably on a lunch break snacking as she watched anime, laid in the soft warm covers of her bed with her legs wrapped around her other pillow—her right shoulder ached laying on it for so long as her gaze remained fixed on the words on the screen, held up by the black phone stand she didn't regret ever buying.

The e-pub version of a w******l had preoccupied her morning, using her index finger occasionally to swipe to the next page after reading a page.

*Omniscient readers viewpoint*

She found herself in this peculiar position as just yesterday did she finish all the 199 chapters of the webtoon version, it was still on going so waiting a week or more for an update wasn't doing her curiosity well. With eagerness she went through a number of saddening fan edits, spoiling the ending for herself but all is well as she discovered the finished w******l.

It was 6540 pages long with over 400 chapters, her heart did kind of sink at that but each chapter wasn't as long—she was already on 1874—no, she didn't read all those, those were the chapters skipped from the webtoon she already knew about.

Since she got the w******l, she'd only got a page worth of new information from the w******l.

She couldn't find her level of concentration even if her life depended on it, the same line had Ben read five times as her mind was preoccupied, drawing everywhere but at the story before her eyes.

12:36PM

Her eyes fell on the time at the top left corner of her screen, almost as though the time was taunting her by making each word in the w******l seem small and faded. Today's time was moving unexpectedly fast than it usually would, almost as though it was rushing for her to return to work tomorrow and drown in workload.

Right, Moon didn't clock into work as she claimed a self diagnosed sickness requiring her to miss the day. She drafted a well explained email giving enough details but nothing at the same time, stating she had food poisoning and as per doctor's order, rest was best optimal.

A large reason to this, even if she didn't want to admit it, had everything to do with this weekend and Aster—the whole weekend had everything to do with Aster, it made everything different type of fun—not her usual rot in bed all day.

Saturday, right after Moon kept staring at Aster laugh like a creep still hovering over her, she eventually stopped laughing—her laughter dying down did make Moon a tad bit sad, but that was that. Aster's eyes revealed her hazel eyes with grey freckles once again, a bit of glimmer from tears made them shine with so much emotions. Her hand that once covered her lips as she laughed rested on her chest, playing with the fabric of her t-shirt.

Neither of them moved as their eyes locked, neither made the effort to move or tell the other to move—neither did it feel awkward—not even as blush creeped it's way to Aster's cheeks coating her fair skin with a shade of pink, along with her ears.

"I like when you laugh."

Moon spoke still drunk dazed on Aster, forcefully restraining herself she from wiping away the tear at the edge of her eye with her thumb, she sat back down giving Aster back her personal space—the space she had invaded for too long. Aster sat up right after her eyebrows furrowed barely catching whatever Moon said, laugh, that was all she caught from her moving lips and it wasn't like Moon spoke fast—Aster's mind was miles into books of its own.

Neither of them asked about it, pretending as though it wasn't said neither did any of this pull happen. Well, not right away, when Moon looked away trying to find the notepad and pen—Aster watched her curiously, from her ear to jawline to moving hands—the way her fingers held the pen, she was drunk dazed and once Moon turned to her she looked away. Moon stared at her as she pushed the strand of hair behind her ear, her star shaped earrings in view again—her hands awkwardly resting on her lap unaware what to do with them, she too was drunk dazed.

Turning away, Moon cleared her throat—it was best to act as though she couldn't notice the chipped nail polish on Moon's nails, it was best as well to act as though she didn't notice the other beauty mark on Aster's neck—they all came to that conclusion, mentally not verbally.

So everything resumed. The teacher learner dynamic, their scribbles on Moon's notepad, the text messages sent back and forth, Aster's intense gaze on her lips as she spoke filled the rest of their Saturday afternoon till eventually Aster had to leave.

Sunday, Moon stared with nothing in mind the chat between her and Aster, re-reading some texts until it eventually reached the bottom of the chat where her text wishing Aster a good night was, a simple reaction as a thumbs up from Aster was her response.

She wanted to text the woman but what exactly would she say and what if Aster was busy, or didn't want to talk—she couldn't risk it. Switching the screen off, Moon left the phone down on the counter going back to her Sunday tea brewing—it had to be enough to distract her, she hoped.

A good 20 minutes flew by before Moon found herself turning her phone on and typing a question to Aster, 'Can you sign the number for me, this video I found on YouTube is confusing.' the text read. Not thinking or questioning herself Moon sent the text.

It quickly went from sent to seen in a matter of seconds, and that left her staring at their chat for five minutes waiting on a response from Aster.

A video popped up with the caption, 'I only did 1 to 15, I'd rather show you the rest in person.' the text read. Moon immediately stranded her mug of tea on the island as she walked towards couch playing the video, a smile on her face.

She didn't care about the numbers, sure she wanted to learn just not right now—she could always revisit them anyway, when the time was right. Just at the moment it wasn't right, now when Asher's forest green walls were the first thing that took her attention along with the apron—nor could her eyes by passing the pair of pliers on the floor or how Asher was kneeling in front of the camera recording the video, a few cut stems beside her.

Her mint hair in a well kept ponytail giving view of Asher's face, and the more she stared at her face the more she noticed how little the beauty mark on her left eyelid was extremely small—she couldn't quite see it at all.

Moon was entirely fixed on Asher that when the video stopped playing she completely caught off guard, 3 minutes already gone and she picked up nothing from the it.

That didn't matter though, not right now when she could start a conversation 100% sure Asher would reply.

'Need extra hands?'

'Did you pay attention at all?'

Asher's reply came immediately after Moon sent her text almost as though she took, had been waiting on Moon's texts not at all closing their chat. If her heart could grew legs, they'd by jumping over the moon—right now her heart was beating fast in her chest, she could hear it in her ears.

An honest response from Moon, and a tease from Asher started their text exchange back and front for the rest of the afternoon—comfortably seated on the couch, Moon forgot about her brewed tea that she was excited for on the island it's freshness and aroma dying down.

With a weekend like that, the more she replayed it the more she didn't want it end. Honestly who had the write to make it end when it was her life.

And that, just like that, Moon called in sick with shame or guilt eating her up. Not even the fact the work load for tomorrow would double on her—that didn't matter—that's when she drafted the email her eyes still heavy with sleep.

13:11PM

Moon sat at the edge of her bed, her right shoulder freed of the compression, her phone screen finally off she had a plan and she was enthusiastic about. A surprise visit was exactly what Asher needed—what she needed honestly, excuses, believable ones would come to her themselves at the floral shop.

All she needed was to get ready, and an outfit already came in mind as she stared down at her sleeping shorts and blue vest—she'd never wear in public with it's royal blue colour completely faint.

§

It felt as though her stomach was upset, the twists and turns made her feel uneasy like she had to rush to the bathroom, as though the leave she took was actually for this sickness. A sickness that wasn't anywhere near a sickness, her whole body felt it as well—her stomach was haywire, her feet grew roots into the concrete as hee vision was blinded by fear and uncertainty.

Moon had anxiety. Creeping in through the cracks that let her crippled, from head to toe, over analysing everything—being over stimulated.

She didn't like it, especially now as she stared at the entrance to Aster's floral shop—Lily Gold. Her excuses, the ones her mind actually came up with weren't believable neither would she say them—she had none, she was f*****g hopeless.

But here she was—here, a few feet from the door, her arms just had to grab the door and swing it open. She was no quitter, going home was the only option but it wasn't up to be picked today—she was going to do it as soon as the roots in her feet were burnt with confidence.

"Deep breaths."

Moon whispered under her breath, her hand on her chest trying to smooth this heart of hers. That not being the only problem as of now her legs couldn't, didn't, want to move—it was as though they weighed a ton, but one step at time.

Her right foot took the first step, soon she was moving and her hand rested on the door knob. Fighting off the urge to drop her hand as to gravity being a b***h or perhaps her anxiety weighing it down, she shook her head—running wasn't an option, she was going to do this.

Tightening her grip, she took a deep breath.

Furrowing her eyebrows Moon stared at her left pocket, her phone vibrated at the new message—she chose to ignore it, closing her eyes briefly she opened them again.

Another vibration sounded in her pocket, it didn't to be optional to ignore that—with a quick hand she pulled it how staring at the lock screen with Aster's name.

'I can see you.'

'Are you coming in or you're going to continue having an inner monologue in your head?'

The messages read, Moon was a bit embarrassed right now at the thought of Asher watching her calm her nerves like she was about to graduate for the first time again.

Now or now.

Moon pulled the pushing down by mistake before pushing it open and letting herself in, the familiar scenery greeted her again. But just this time Asher stood a few feet in front of her a smile on her lips, her hair in a bun—her floral dress resting just above her knees with her forest green apron.

Moon phone's vibrated again, this time as it was in her right hand. Tearing her gaze from Asher she stared at Asher's name pop up on her lock screen again.

'Hey stranger, took you a while.'

Fighting back a smile Moon replied, 'Eager, are we?'