Hand to Hold

Chapter 6

I am sorry, I can’t stop loving you.

I am sorry I turn moth to your light.

I wish I knew how to demote you from being the sun of my life... Everything orbits you.

.

.

“They died protecting me... Leaving Blake with me. Aunt May is here and she also supports me... But it is still hard to believe my life isn’t the same as before. That counting today, they haven’t been around for a year now.”

I didn’t want to cry, not in front of him, not on his birthday... Never. And yet, it was hard to not be honest when he was being so attentive, “It is hard, really hard... For today isn’t only about them Ash, it isn-” It isn’t about Mom and Dad, it is about you.

With the dizzying effects of the medicine I took earlier, I would have been saying it if not for being pulled in his warm embrace. Reciprocating, I closed my eyes allowing my sobs to be silenced by his t-shirt.

Ash...

He shouldn’t be in South Salovia. He shouldn’t have seen me breaking down. He shouldn’t have lent his shoulder... AND FOR SURE SHOULDN’T HAVE EMBRACED ME. It was wrong.

Yet the warmth his gesture conveyed weakened my resolution and I wanted to stay with him forever and ever, always by his side. Something next to impossible.

That was why I stopped to savour that moment even if he was only sympathizing. I wanted to be in his arms for a bit more until I could resist the drowsiness... Or for a little more while than that...

***

Constant hammering over my head stopped me from opening my eyes. The heaviness of the head neither allowed me mental rest nor let me start on with the day.

Calling Ms Case I would inform her that this medicine wasn’t for me. The dosage of medicine I took last night was more than what I could handle, but I didn’t know about its effects, I was taking it for the first time after ending the last medication course... Still, I shouldn’t have taken it on my way to the party.

RIGHT! ROYAL MANSION!

The party, suffocation, running away, breaking down, h-hug-hugging Ash... Opening my eyes, the bits and snaps of last night rushed to me.

Adjusting to the light, I glanced around to find myself in an unfamiliar room. My surrounding was clean, yet wary of any sort of sign showing someone used it. I guessed it was another guest room of the mansion.

No, not another mansion, of the royal mansion... Royalty’s territory.

The room was cream-coloured, like most of the rooms in the palace, and it resembled the guest room of the palace. A cupboard, vanity table, attached bathroom, a window and lots of elaborate decorations to finish the higher tier touch on the walls.

Slowly hammer hitting got rhythmic, reminding me about the forgotten headache.

“...You don’t want to be with me, stay away from him as well. Now, now you don’t want your loved ones' lives to be shortened along with our beloved Prince’s already short life.”

Sitting on the edge of the bed holding my head all I wanted was to run away, to another world where Ash and I could never possibly collide.

Knocks on the door caught my attention and I scowled because the sound wasn’t pleasing with the buzzing head. Following the knocks, a lady entered, her dress giving away she worked there.

Meeting my eyes, she smiled politely, “Miss, I hope you rested well last night. You should freshen up, I will prepare some other clothing for you in meanwhile... Um, Crown Prince also asked if you would like to have lunch with him.”

Lunch?

Suddenly I realized that I was far behind my usual routine, remembering the date I couldn’t be more grateful that it was Saturday.

Though, if it was lunchtime then, what about Aunt may? I didn’t even call her, she would have gone insane.

As fine as Aunt May was if I slept over at a friend or spent the night out, she couldn’t be cool if she wasn’t informed about it. Her protectiveness over me and Blake rose by tenfold from when we ended up on her doorstep in a dishevelled state.

The best option was to turn down Ash’s proposal and run back to Aunt May, apologize profusely but blame that odd hangover for not being able to think coherently because I nodded. At the next moment when I was blaming that godforsaken medication for it all, a part of me knew that it was all to stay near the person I was supposed to be away from.

She acknowledged my gesture and left me alone and sighing I searched for my clutch. Checking the contents of the purse I retrieved my phone and with a deep breath, I dialled Aunt’s number.

The phone barely rang once and she answered though contrary to my belief she didn’t scream, she didn’t even utter a single word and waited for me to lead the conversation.

“Hello... It’s me, and I called to inform you that I am still in the royal mansion and... I am sorry, actually-”

She sighed, “I am sorry, sugar, I am sorry... I didn’t know that you would faint from the grief... All I wanted for you was to not stay copped in the room but...”

I frowned at her words, “I don’t get it.”

“I called you last night, but a boy answered the call and said that you were crying and then ended up falling asleep from fatigue.”

“Oh!”

“What do you mean by oh? And how are you feeling now? Should I pick you up?”

I noised my disapproval, “I am better now, first things first, last night I didn’t faint, I simply fell asleep because of the new medicines Ms Case prescribed... And I don’t need a transport right now; I am having my lunch here.”

“Hmmm...” She added in low voice, “Okay, but who are you having the lunch with? The same lad I presume.”

“Aunt May!” Words couldn’t have expressed my exasperation as I made an excuse, “My phone is dying. I will call you later.”

She giggled, “Excuses... I will interrogate you later. Bye. ”

Disconnecting the call, I kept it back in the clutch and sighing at Aunt May’s romantic heart made my way to the bathroom.

Taking a quick shower which eased my hammering head, I walked out wearing the robe. Various dresses and undergarments were placed on the bed. I wore a dress randomly and grabbing my purse ambled out of the room wondering the right direction to the dining area.

Fortunately, the lady from the morning was already standing outside and she guided me to the dining area.

The natural light was brightening the huge dining area where two males were seated there for lunch and few servants surrounded the table suited to befit the Salovian Senate form its size and elegance.

Busy on the phone, Ash didn’t notice my dilemma as I wondered where I should sit. I couldn’t sit far from my host but I didn’t want to sit just beside him because the opposite chair wasn’t vacant; Sir Rehaan was keenly observing me from that place.

Sighing internally, I decided upon the chair at Ash’s right and kept the clutch on my lap.

As I waited for Ash to finish the call, I didn’t dare glance up. Sir Rehaan’s cold eyes were fixated over me and one could tell it from a glimpse that he wasn’t impressed with me for whatever reason. The maid I knew arrived in the form of an angel and gave me my clothes in a paper bag as I requested.

I considered her an angel because she unknowingly broke Sir Rehaan’s intimidating gaze and it warmed me. Though the relief wasn’t supposed to remain for the whole noon she was still an angel since because of her Ash also realized that he was entertaining me.

“Okay, thanks for informing me about it. I will call Rick to check up on him.”Ash’s eyes rested on me while he excused himself.

Smiling at me he continued, “That’s bad, but Alice, I will have to go now. I have company here and I have kept them waiting long enough.”

“Bye.”

Keeping his phone on the table, he smiled apologetically, “I am sorry, I didn’t realize you were already here or I would have cut the conversation short.”

I shrugged, “It is fine, as there is no way you have kept me waiting for longer than you and Sir Rehaan has to wait for me.”

He smiled jaded, “Not an issue, I was in a video conference till a few minutes ago. It took up the whole morning.”

Indeed, his eyes were sleepy and there were faint dark circles beneath them.

“Why did Ms Ether call?” Sir Rehaan’s question made me conscious and I averted my eyes back to the plate before of me attempting to focus anywhere but him.

“She called to inform that Ben is admitted in hospital because of food poisoning. She also ordered that she wants to see me in North Salovia soon after Exam ends.”

He held immense adoration for Alice when he added that she wanted him back in North Salovia. The softness of his voice might have confused others, but those who have witnessed Ash’s love for his cousins it wasn’t new to them.

The love between him, Alice Ether or Ash’s maternal cousin and Alex, Alice’s elder sibling, was quite strong and the always treated one other like siblings, but following their parents’ demise Alex and Alice lived in the palace... They were siblings in that sense.

Not hungry anymore, my attention turned to North Salovia specifically how Alice, Rexona, Ben and Rick must have coped with Ash’s matters... Then, there was me.

And then... There was him, who firmly believed that he could reach the throne if only Crown Prince was removed from his path. With so much power in his hands, thanks to his equally psychotic father, he threatened me that he would finish off my loved ones, since, I turned him down.

His men killed my parents on his order, heck they attacked Ash inside the palace. The father-son duo wanted Ash dead, but they were never eager until I entered the picture. They also wanted me dead now because only I knew who they were.

Glancing up, my gaze travelled to Ash... All I hoped was, he could figure it out for himself... Black Hood’s head... Was none other than-

“Belle.” Ash snapped me out of my musings. His eyes showered concern, “Are you fine?”

I stared back in his deep eyes and shook my head.

“Is it because of yesterday's...?” He trailed off inquiring softly.

“Maybe.”

I lied and hid the real reason from the empathic human. He considered something for a moment and then turned to Sir Rehaan.

“Rehaan, ask Orion to drop Belle home, she isn’t looking well.”

Sir Rehaan furrowed his brows at it, but when his gaze landed on me he nodded and moved to take out his phone. Seriously what did I do? Was it possible by any chance that he recognized me... But that couldn't be, right?