The good girl is changing me

Chapter ninetten - What I feel for him

Chloe's POV:

Probably this is the first time I will say that I am glad that Aaron was there yesterday. Otherwise, I don't know what could've happened to me. I'm not happy that he had to fight, but at least he was ok. I don't like seeing him hurt. This is hurting me, but I don't know why. I feel like my mom when she was younger. Every time when I was falling, she was coming with first aid. Yes, I was crying most of the time, but actually, I was fine. Well, she was just taking care and I should appreciate that. Now I am doing the same thing for him. I feel the need to help him, no matter that he was a stranger to me. I know that he is old enough to take care of himself, but I want to be there as well. To be by his side. 

I opened my eyes and looked around. This is not my room. Then I looked at my waist and saw a hand. I slightly turned to the other side and saw Aaron sleeping peacefully. Now I remember that I asked him to sleep here. Maybe I shouldn't do it. Not like it's a bad thing, but I don't want to give him wrong intentions. It was literally only sleeping. We didn't do anything else. I was tired and wanted to forgive what has happened if that was possible. 

I tried to get up, but I couldn't. He was holding me tight. I need to go to school. Why he has to sleep so cute? Now I don't want to wake him up. I can call his friend for help, but I don't have his number. I started shaking Aaron, but he didn't move at all. Great. I slightly rubbed his cheek with my thumb. I won't lie that if I didn't have to go to school, I could stay here all day. I started playing with his hair. 

In that moment, someone opened the door. Finally, I am safe. Dani looked at me and smirked. If I could, I would delete this smirk from his face. I know what he is thinking, but I have to disappoint him. He saw my serious look and his smirk faded. I made him come to me. 

- You need to help me. 

- And why would I do that?

- I have to go to school, but he doesn't want to let me go. Neither to wake up. 

- Maybe I will do it, but then what kind of friend will I be. 

- Dani, please. 

- Ok, I will help you. I'll grab his hand and you will get up. - he said and I nodded 

Dani grabbed Aaron's hand and lifted it. I slightly got out of bed. Finally, I did it. I took my clothes and went to the bathroom to change. When I was done, I left his clothes on one chair and both with Dani went downstairs. He offered me food and I accepted. I would love to eat something before I go to school. In the moment we sat at the table, he looked at me. It looks like he expects me to tell him something, but I have nothing to say. It was just sleeping. 

- Won't you tell me?

- Tell you what?

- How was the sleeping?

- Like a normal sleeping. Look, I know what you are thinking, but it was only sleeping. Nothing else happened. If I could, I would gladly erase last night from my mind. 

- Why? Did he do something?

- Except that he saved me, nothing else.

- Now, I want to know everything. 

- I was with the girls and later I walked around. I passed by one nightclub and some boys were looking at me. I ignored them, but one of them was saying something. Of course, I tried to avoid this as well, but he grabbed my hand and it was clear that he was drunk and wanted something, which I would never give him. Then out of nowhere appeared your friend. I don't know what he was doing outside. The boy punched him and he had to punch back. They had а little fight and when they were done, we walked home. I cleaned his face and both of us went to sleep. That's it. Nothing interesting. 

- Actually, it's very interesting. Aaron has never fought for someone, especially a girl. You may not realize it, but he is changing thanks to you. 

- I don't want to change him. 

- I'm not saying that you want. For the first time, he cares about someone and this is amazing. Before he didn't even care for himself. He was at the bottom, but you saved him. I will never be thankful enough for what you did. Thank you, Chloe. 

I was going to say something, but at that moment, someone sat at the table with us. It was Aaron. I guess that he has woken up. Good for him. He doesn't look very pleased to see us here. I looked at him, but he looked away. Did I do something? It looks like he is mad at me, but I have no idea why.

- Aaron, are you mad at me?

No answer. I looked at Dani, but he only shrugged his shoulders. 

- Did I do something?

- No. 

- They why are you so cold to me?

- Because, I didn't give you permission to get up and leave me alone. - he said and walked away

Dani and I burst out laughing. I thought that I have done something bad. When we calmed down, I went to search for him. He was in the backyard. I sat next to him and tried to snuggle, but he didn't let me. Don't tell me that he really got mad, because of that. I tried again, but he rejected me. If it won't be the easy way, I'll do it the hard one. I lifted his hand, wrapped it around me, and snuggled. He tried to move, but I didn't let him. We stayed like that for a while. No one was talking. I decide to break the silence. 

- I'm sorry. You were sleeping so peacefully and I didn't want to wake you up. If I don't go soon, I will be late for school. I didn't want to hurt you. Can you forgive me?

He didn't say anything and looked at me. I saw the pain in his eyes. Did I really hurt him? I didn't know that something so simple could do so much harm to him. 

- You can leave me if you want. - he said with a cold tone

- I don't want to leave you. If I wanted that, I wasn't going to be here for so long. 

No emotion. I might regret this later, but now this is the only thing that came to my mind. I didn't say anything and just kissed his cheek. I won't lie that lately I have had a mix of emotions when it comes to him, but I don't want to lose a friend. 

- You are my friend and I don't want to lose you. - I said and he gave me a hug

- I'm sorry. 

- It's ok. Now I have to go. I might come back later. 

I walked to the front door and was ready to walk out when Dani called me. 

- Hey, can I talk with you. It's important. 

- Look, now I can't. 

- Not now. I mean today. Are you free?

- Yes, I am. 

- I'll text you when and where. Don't tell Aaron. 

- Why and from where do you have my number?

- I stole it from his phone and it's about him. That's why I don't want him to know. 

- Ok, I won't tell him. Bye Dani. 

- Bye Chloe. - he said and I left

I walked to school. Luckily, I was on time. The girls were in front of my locker as usual. I took my things and all of us went to class. My concentration was gone again. I still can't understand why he got so upset about such a small thing. Then I get it. Maybe this is not the reason, but it looks logical. His parents left him when he was still a kid. I mean thirteen years old is not a grown-up person. Probably he thought that I would leave him too. I will never do that, but he doesn't know it. 

During the class, I got a message. It was from Dani. He told me when and where he want us to meet. 

Hey, it's Dani. Are you free today around 5 pm? I want us to meet in the coffee shop next to the mall where you and the girls usually go. 

I replied to him. 

Yes, I am free and I will come. 

I guess that he was on his phone since he replied so fast. 

Good. I will wait for you there. 

After school, I walked home. The girls wanted to go out, but I wasn't in the mood for that. I know that lately, I don't spend much time with them, but in my defense, I was with them фор years. I don't see anything wrong to want to spend some time with your new friend. I walked home and took a shower. I sat on the ground and let the shower do its work. In my mind appeared this morning. I won't deny that the cheek kiss was too much, but I didn't know what else to do. 

It was 4 pm and I walked out. The coffee shop is like half an hour from home. I will walk around and then will go. I hope that he won't go early. I wonder for what exactly he wants to talk with me. I know that it will be about his best friend, but he didn't say anything else. Except to not tell him. At 4:50, I arrived and ordered a Frappuccino. 

Soon Dani came and ordered the same drink. He took it and sat in front of me. I pass him a small smile and he returned it. To be honest this is the first time when we'll do a proper talk. Up to now, I was talking with him when he was with Aaron. Not like I mind, but I would love to know more things about him. Like to get to know him better. 

- For what do you want to talk with me?

- How I told you in the morning, it will be about Aaron. 

- Did something happen with him or he has a problem? - I asked worried

- No, he is fine. I just want to know something, but if I tell him, he will kill me. 

- Ok, what do you want to know?

- What do you feel about him?

- What? I don't understand. 

- Chloe, don't hide. It's visible that there is something between you two. I am not mad. I just want to know what is it. Will you tell me?

- There is nothing between Aaron and me. We are just friends. 

- Are you sure? I know that friends take care of each other, but you are doing it too much. I think that you feel something more. 

I won't lie that his question surprised me. I have never thought of that. What do I feel about him? I don't know. We haven't done something, which shows the opposite. If I have to be honest, he became an important part of my friendship circle, no matter that I still hide him, but to feel something. I don't think so. I have seen how girls act when they like someone. I don't do any of these things. 

- Won't you answer me?

- Why is so important to know this?

- Because he has never been around a girl for so long and I want to know with what you are different from the others, except that you don't want only to hook up with him. 

- Yes, I don't want that at all. Look, I don't know why he keeps me close to himself, but I like that. I only want to help him, that's it. 

- I think that you are slowly starting to fall for him. Am I right?

- What? I am not falling for him. Moreover, he can't be with only one girl. 

- I know that, but with you is different. 

- I understand that you want to help him, but I don't feel anything about him. 

That hurts. I didn't lie but didn't say the truth as well. I feel something for him, but it's noт what Dani wants. Aaron is my friend and I care for him. This is the only thing that I feel for him. At least for now. I won't lie that when I kissed his cheek this morning, I felt different. I have done this to no one, except my parents. I don't know am I changing him or he is changing me. I have never been in a relationship before and I kind of scared to don't mess up things. 

- If you don't feel anything, why did you kiss him in the morning?

- You saw it, right?

- I did. Now answer me. Chloe, I only want to help you and him. I don't want to make you do something, which you don't want. 

- I did it because he was mad at me. The usual things didn't work and this was the only thing that came into my mind. 

- And you couldn't give him a proper kiss? - he chuckled

- I don't want to give him wrong intentions. 

- I'll tell you something. If you feel something, whatever it is, tell him. Tell him before it gets late and someone takes him from you. If you love him, make sure that he knows it. I just want him to be happy. All the things, which he was doing before you, were not good for him and he knew that. I wanted him to take care of himself, but he never did it. That's why I was happy when you came. At least he started to think for himself even a little bit. 

- I... I don't know. Lately, I feel weird. Like there is a mix of emotions in me when it comes to him. I have never been with anyone and I don't want to mess up. 

- And you won't do it. Chloe, I see the way you look at him. You can't deny that there is something. 

- Look, let me think about this. Right now, there are many things in my head and this is the last thing that I want to think about. Moreover, don't forget that we are still hiding. Even if we get together, this won't change anything. 

- But you will be happy, won't you?

- Maybe, but I have to hide that as well. Otherwise, I risk losing my friends and the whole school to hate me. I can't let this happen. Try to understand me. 

- I understand you, but you can't bottle up your feelings. 

- When I figure out what I feel, I will tell you. 

- Ok, I won't pressure you anymore. 

- Thank you. 

Both of us talked for a while and then I walked home. I won't deny that there is something that I feel, but I don't know what. Maybe I like him, but maybe not. Why does it have to be со complicated? How do I mess up so bad? It's not enough that my new friends are bad boys, but the fact that I have to hide them is not helping. Yes, I care for Aaron, but this is not love. As I have said, I only want to help him. I won't lie that I would love it if we get together, but I already know that this is impossible. Even if we did it, there will always be something or someone, who will try to separate us. I don't want that kind of relationship. I want to be always with this person without being interrupted and without all the drama.