You Were Never Mine

Chapter 5

Yvette's P.O.V

I don't know how long I've been staring at his face nang mag-iwas ako ng tingin. The little bells hanging on the entrance rang nang pumasok siya nang tuluyan sa pintuan.

Napa-atras ako, para hindi kami magkalapit. The very existence of him is torturing me. I won't take it kapag nagkatagpo ang balat namin. I'm not exaggerating. I hadn't seen him in what felt like an eternity, but there he was in front of me! Para akong napapaso na nilalamig na parang wala nang maramdaman.

Nang mapadpad ang hangin sa gawi ko, nalanghap ko kung gaano siya kabango. Because he has such a manly aroma, I can't help but sneak a whiff and take pleasure in the experience of smelling him. Even I have no idea how to explain his inexplicable odor. I have no idea what kind of mint aftershave this is! Sinaktan niya 'ko and I anticipate myself to either smack him or to grin sweetly at him sa muling pagkikita namin, but look at me…

I'm here because his appearance has me completely transfixed.

Attempting to lessen the complexity of relationships is a difficult task. Every romantic relationship, regardless matter how fulfilling it is or how it was always planned to be, comes with its own special set of difficulties, obstacles, and (potentially) times when the partners go their separate ways or take a vacation from one another. This holds true even if the two people were supposed to be together from the beginning.

You may have been asking yourself, "Should I get in touch with my former partner?" It is only natural for someone who has just been through a breakup to wonder at some point whether or not they should make an effort to get in touch with the person they had been dating before the relationship ended. Keeping all of this information in mind, how do you decide when it is appropriate to contact an ex and when it is time to cut connections with them?

It is never easy to end a romantic connection with another person, regardless of whether you were the one who initiated the split or whether you were the one whose emotions were hurt the most as a result of the dissolution of the relationship. It is not possible to count all of the potential causes of a split; some of these causes are unimportant and have no value, but other causes are undeniably important and cannot be reversed. When it comes to the question of whether or not you should get back in touch with your ex, there are a lot of factors to take into consideration, and the state in which your relationship ended is one of the most significant of these factors. If your relationship ended amicably, you may want to reconsider getting in touch with your ex.

Talking to your ex may be OK if the breakup was amicable and carried out with respect for each other on both sides. If this is the case, If the divorce was contentious and one spouse felt betrayed by the other during the process, keeping a safe distance from one another may be the best course of action for both parties to take at this juncture in order to restore their mental and physical health.

It is impossible to provide a definitive response to the question of whether or not you should communicate with your former partner following the end of a romantic engagement because the dynamic of each couple is different. Before you can analyze and provide a response to this question, you need to first conduct an exhaustive study into your relationship, the reasons for your breakup, and yourself. Only then will you be able to answer the question. After then, and only then, will you be able to accomplish that. Because of the nature of this particular issue, it is often necessary to enlist the assistance of a group of people, such as your family and friends, who can provide you with insights that you may not be able to perceive in the present moment. These people can be of assistance to you in the event that you find yourself in a situation in which you need to make a decision that could have serious consequences. In the event that you find yourself in a scenario in which you are unable to handle things on your own, these individuals can be of assistance to you and help you get through it.

Parting ways with a romantic relationship is never an easy or comfortable process. The vast majority of people do not emerge from a failed romantic relationship brandishing a glass of champagne and cheering to their bright new future. This is the case for the vast majority of people. Instead, letting go is a process that typically takes its time and is loaded with problems at every turn of the path that it travels. Even more recent or fleeting relationships have the potential to have an effect on your life, and the dissolution of a connection that lasted for no more than a month may bring about challenges and surprises that you were not expecting. Even more recent or fleeting relationships have the potential to have an impact on your life. Our is particularly pertinent in this day and age, when communication may frequently be maintained in a manner that is both continual and instantaneous as a result of the extensive use of texting and social media.

Now comes the tricky part, which is deciding whether or not to initiate contact with the other party: how should one go about making that decision?

To what extent did each of these reasons contribute to the end of the relationship? Maintaining communication with one another may be okay if the two of you were able to part ways on pleasant or even amicable terms when you decided to go your own ways.

What is the sum total of the time that has elapsed between this moment and the previous one? It is generally accepted amongst professionals in the field that getting in touch with an ex-partner in the immediate aftermath of a breakup is extremely unlikely to have a beneficial effect on the situation. This is because getting in touch with an ex-partner in the immediate aftermath of a breakup is extremely unlikely to have a beneficial effect on the situation

I'm curious as to why you feel it's important to get in touch with me. If you still love your ex after the two of you broke up, reaching out to them could make the natural process of breaking up take longer. This is especially true if you are still in love with them. This is especially important to keep in mind if your former partner was the one who started the fight and you are the one who still has feelings for them after the breakup. On the other hand, if you were the one who started the process of reaching a decision, it might make sense for you to get in touch with them as you were the one who started it.

What is it that you are hoping will come about as a direct consequence of the actions that you have taken? Are you getting ready for a joyful get-together with old pals whom you haven't seen in a long time? A conflict? Do you wish to discuss the issues that arose and make an effort to find a solution to the problem? Even though it is fair for you to want some closure, it is possible that your ex will not be keen to talk to you or may be unkind to you when they do communicate. Even though it is reasonable for you to want some closure, it is possible that your ex will not be eager to talk to you. Despite this, it is not unusual for you to want some sort of resolution to the situation.

Where are you right now, and how safe is it there? If you are physically or emotionally vulnerable, you should consider reaching out to a trusted member of your family or a close friend instead. If you are in this situation, you should consider contacting out. If you find yourself in this predicament, you should think about calling out to someone for help. If you are unable to accurately foresee the outcome of rekindling a relationship with a former partner, doing so may be detrimental to your mental health. If you are not in a good situation, reaching out to folks could be more risky for you; but, if you are in a good position, it could be less risky for you to do so.

If you give yourself some time to consider all of the potential repercussions before reaching for your phone, you may be able to spare yourself a great deal of discomfort and even embarrassment in the event that your ex is cruel or unresponsive. If you give yourself some time to consider all of the potential repercussions before reaching for your phone, you may be able to spare yourself a great deal of discomfort and even embarras Before going for your phone, if you allow yourself some time to ponder all of the potential implications, you may be able to avoid yourself a great lot of stress and even embarrassment.

Think about what might happen following the initial point of contact that you make as well. This is an important consideration. Take into consideration the next investigation: Which procedures should be performed next in the case that the attempt to link is successful in creating the connection? What are your reasons for wanting to communicate with them, and what do you anticipate gaining from doing so? Are you planning to continue our talk for a significant amount of time with me? What are some things about yourself that you expect to gain insight into as a result of this conversation? Your answers to these questions can serve as a guide to help you determine whether or not getting in touch with your ex-partner is a good idea. This can be a helpful step in the decision-making process.

There is no one rule that specifies a couple that is divorcing or otherwise separating from one another must immediately stop communicating with one another in any way, shape, or form. After a certain length of time has gone, other exes are able to move on with their life and continue a connection. This is especially true once both parties have recovered from the breakup and have moved on from the relationship. On the other hand, there are some exes who would be better off in the long run if they never spoke to each other again after the end of their relationship. While some people will be able to patch things up and remain together for the rest of their lives, others will try to make contact and have to go through the agony and heartbreak of having their overtures declined or being completely ignored. However, some people will be able to make things work and will be able to stay together for the rest of their lives. Others will be able to work things out and remain together for the rest of their lives, while others will try to patch things up but end up right back where they started—in a relationship that isn't healthy and doesn't work. Others still will be able to work things out and remain together for the rest of their lives.

The first thing you should focus on after ending a relationship with someone is healing the emotional scars produced by the breakup, determining what it is that you require, and, if required, taking care of your family. Because they are no longer considered to be your partner and are no longer even necessarily considered to be your friend, it is generally recommended that you cease communicating with your ex as soon as possible. It can be beneficial to the healing process, create a more balanced perspective, and bring about a greater understanding and awareness of who you are to go through some time without connecting with anyone.

The majority of cases require the exes to have as little contact with one another as is humanly possible, at least for a period of time, and this is something that health professionals are in agreement on. Despite the fact that friends and family members may have different points of view, this is something that is required in the majority of cases. This is especially true in the case of unions that were of a violent, poisonous, or manipulative kind, as these traits can readily change from those of a romantic connection to those of a platonic one.

[Here's a good example:] It is possible for a person who has been the target of manipulation and a***e in the past to end up in a relationship with the person who abused them in the past. This can happen if the victim is unable to move on from the past. The more severe the a***e is, the greater the risk that this will take place. It is recommended that as much contact as possible be cut because communication is a vital component in the maintenance of many abusive relationships. This is due to the fact that communication is an essential feature in the upkeep of many abusive relationships. This is because communication plays an essential part in the maintenance of abusive relationships, which is one of the primary reasons for this.

There is no universal consensus among specialists regarding how long you should stay in touch with your ex-partner after the relationship has ended. This is the case even if your prior relationship was a healthy one that developed from an existing friendship. Nevertheless, this is the best-case scenario in terms of getting back together with an ex, and it may be the best reason to get in touch with an ex, despite the fact that they may or may not share children or property. This is the most compelling argument for reestablishing contact with a former partner. If you and the other person had a connection that was strong and healthy before you were involved in a romantic relationship, it's likely that you'll be able to go back to the friendship that you had before getting involved in the love relationship. Even still, continued communication with that person after the relationship has ended may be difficult due to the fact that you may have already prepared a spot in your mind for them to play the role of a romantic partner, and it is not easy to immediately reassign this space to another person.

Rekindling a connection with an ex-lover may appear to be a good idea at the time, but doing so may result in a number of results that were not planned and are unpleasant. If everything goes according to plan, from this point forward, every interaction you have with your ex-spouse will finish on a positive note and lead to dialogue that is polite and kind of one another. This will be the case as long as everything continues to go according to plan. Any attempts on your part to make contact may result in you being ignored, abused, or subjected to some other sort of unpleasant or insensitive conduct. This may make an injury that is already having a difficult time healing even worse. If you are debating whether or not you should contact an ex, the response that will keep you safest is "no." If you are debating whether or not you should contact an ex, the response that will keep you safest is "no." After all, a "no" can very easily become a "yes," but once an effort has been made to reach out to someone, it cannot be undone. If you are now asking yourself this question, the answer that "no" is the one that will most likely keep you safe in the given circumstances is the one that you should choose. It is a vital stage in the process of seeking a solution to this problem that you recall the circumstances that led to the breakdown of your relationship. If you take this action, there is a good chance that you will be able to spare yourself from experiencing extra mental and physical anguish and suffering.

Your current level of motivation is one of the most significant factors to take into consideration when making a decision on whether or not to get in touch with a person who was a prior partner in a relationship. As a result of the fact that people frequently struggle to be honest with themselves regarding the "why" behind their actions, or as a result of the fact that they may find it difficult to determine the "why" when they want something so badly that it makes it difficult for them to maintain objectivity, this can be a task that is difficult to finish successfully. You will have a better awareness of your hopes and aspirations, as well as your boundaries, your needs, and your motivations. All of these things will contribute to your maturation as an individual. At this point, therapy may be helpful; ideally, a therapist will accompany you while you learn about yourself; during therapy, you will learn about these topics. When you have all of this information, you will have a much better idea of whether or not the breakup you went through was the kind of breakup that calls for you to continue your pursuit of your ex or the kind of breakup that calls for you to just let it go and move on with your life. When you have all of this information, you will have a much better idea of whether or not the breakup you went through was the kind of breakup that calls for you to continue your pursuit of your ex.

There are some outcomes of the dissolution of a romantic partnership in which it is not essential to consult a counselor or therapist in the process of emotional recovery. Your previous breakups were probably simple and basic processes in which you simply parted ways, moved on, and continued living your life. This is because it's possible that you've never been in a serious relationship before. If this is the case, then you are in for a startling realization very soon. If, on the other hand, you have entertained the idea of getting back together with an ex-partner at some point in the future, it may be beneficial to discuss the breakup with an objective third party who is not emotionally invested in the result of the situation. This person can provide you with an unbiased perspective because they do not have any emotional ties to the outcome of the situation. When two people's romantic involvements come to an end in a way that is mutually satisfactory and friendly, it is exceedingly unusual for the two people to consider staying in touch with one another in the foreseeable future. In most cases, the painful, undesirable, or unexpected breakups are the ones that inspire the thought of contacting an ex, and these breakups may have a great deal more to them than just a simple misunderstanding or an easy separation. In addition, the thought of contacting an ex may be inspired by the fact that the breakup may have been caused by more than just a simple misunderstanding or an easy separation. In addition, the idea of getting back in touch with an ex may have crossed your mind because the two of you may have parted ways for reasons that were more complicated than just a simple misunderstanding or an amicable split.

Oh my goodness, Yvette.

Agad akong umayos ng tayo at inayos ang pagkakasabit ng bag ko sa balikat ko. I pretended like I didn't see him, kahit na I was caught off guard na gulat nang makita ko siya. I was going to walk towards the exit nang tawagin niya ulit ang pangalan ko sa paraan ng pagtawag niya noon sa akin.

“Yvette.”

A little too gentle, a little too sweet... but not in the same way he did before.

"Yvette..." he called me once again, so bumalik ako sa harapan niya at tinignan ko siya mata sa mata. I suddenly had the thought that if I'm not going to be able to escape this predicament, then I might as well meet it head on.

Ilang segundo ko palang siyang tinitignan ay parang siya lang ang nakikita ko and the rest is a blur. My attention is on him. And I don't f cking like it.

How can it possibly effect me even now? Pero shet, it feels like it was just yesterday.

Bakit ganito parin ang mga mata niya? Bakit ba hindi nagbago ang mga mata niyang minahal ko noon. I just really want that he had changed for the worse so that it would be simpler for me to look at him as though he was and still is nothing to me, but alas, he has not. He is standing right in front of me, presenting the most improved version of himself.

"Iñigo." I did not address him by name. I simply... said it.

At long last, a word. I composed a word na kanina ko pa gustong gawin. I said a word, kahit na sobrang hirap.

Finally.

He complimented me by saying, "You seem more... lovely..." as he examined my entire face, and here I am, internally begging for his freaking complement that I am not allowed to accept even if it is true.

"Thank you," followed by a hipokrita of my own words: "Why are you here?" I asked.

Sa lahat ba naman ng tanong, ang bobo pa nang natanong ko! Wala ba siyang karapatan na pumunta rito, self, ha?

Please pass the rumor!

"Well, I—" just then, the phone rang, which rescued me from the situation. I excused myself at tuluy tuloy na lumabas at dumiretso na sa sasakyan ko. Nang tignan ko kung sino ang tumawag, it was Mom. I didn't even have the chance to address it; dahil mas pinarioritize ko pa ang paglabas ko sa café kaysa sa pagsagot ng tawag.

I sent her a message inquiring about what was going on, and a few minutes later, she phoned me.

"Yes, Mamá?"

"Ha! Get out of here early!" I appeared to be rolling my eyes.

"Hay, I'm working po. Ano ba 'yan?"

"Working or not, huwag kang magpa-gabi." She had a reminder for me.

"It is now the afternoon, Mom! Gosh... anyway, I'm on my way sa site ng isa sa mga projects ko. Gotta go na—" I was ready to hang up nang pigilan niya ako.

"Anak, kasi... you're not growing any younger..."

"So?"

"So… I'd like to present you to the son of a friend of mine... lol!" Tumawa pa talaga siya sa huli na parang naka-loko.

However, she is not the one.

"Mama, duh. You are aware that the main reason I came back to this city was for employment; so, why would you try to set me up? No. We don't have time for that." Mabilis na sabi ko at pinatay na ang tawag atsaka na diretsong nagmaneho tungo sa place.

Pilit kong binubura sa isipan ko ang mukha ng pesteng si Iñigo, but I just can't. Hindi ko rin napigilan na alalahanin ang dahilan kung bakit niya ako iniwan. Kung bakit hindi natuloy ang love story namin na mala-fairytale.

Of course, oo nga pala. Iñigo got someone pregnant. He currently has a child or possibly several children. While he already has his own family, I am continually haunted, upset, and worried out by things that happened in the past that he most certainly does not have. He already has his own family.

I have no doubt in my mind that he is even capable of discussing our history as though it were of no consequence. As if I were only a small portion of his teenage years, during which he was maturing and gaining knowledge about life. Growing up and gaining wisdom from his past experiences... pero sa akin?

Tangina.

I've gotten myself into this situation by deliberately creating situations that will emotionally pain and torment me. I'm having dreams that I can't bear to face in real life, yet at the same time, I'm still in excruciating pain.

When a tear started to fall from my eye, I put my foot on the brake. I've had enough of this crap that doesn't even attempt to address my concerns. Na minsan alright, madalas hindi.

Why?

Tangina, I tried to put the past behind me. Everyday pa nga, pero bakit kahit anong gawin ko, I can't dislike him. I can't detest him. Nasasaktan lang ako, pero bakit hindi ko siya kayang kamuhian? And if ever makakasalubong ko man ang anak at asawa niya kasama siya, why do I feel like I'd still smile at them like pain was just a word and hurting me was nothing...

Narating ko ang place. As was to be expected, malaki ito. The client desired to have a distinctive plan. It's not just any old house; it's a mansion. Gusto ng client na hindi ko magawang ma-hindi-an na ilagay lahat ng ideas ko, because he doesn't have one in mind right now— sabi ni Shaun na siyang nakakausap niya.

Well, okay.

Nagtagal din ako ng halos isang oras sa place bago ko naisipang umalis na. Nang nasa daan ako pauwi, Shaun messaged me, wondering if I'm home na and I just simply answered not yet.

Napadaan ako sa isang mall. Bumili ako ng lapis at drawing pad sa book store and nagpalipas ng oras sa department store and sa mga botique. Wala akong nagustuhan, kaya wala akong nabiling damit. Isa pa, ang dami ko pang hindi nasusuot sa mga damit ko. Because I have to work for it, I have to be responsible with how I spend it. Dahil sa pagka-space out ko, hindi ko naisipang kumain sa mall. And duh, I don't know, but I find it weird to dine myself lalo na sa araw na'to na practically kawawang babae ako.

Dumaan muna ako sa isang drive thru, para bumili ng kakainin, dahil parang nagutom ako sa mga ideas ko.

Ang dami kong iniisip, buti nalang hindi pa nauubos space ng utak ko. Kaya if may balak pang ipakilala sakin si Mom, sorry, pero there's no area for new problem!

Nakuha ko na ang order kong burrito at iced tea. Napaka unhealthy naman ata ng araw ko ngayon... kanina kape, tapos cake, tapos ngayon— I need water!

Kumain ako sa kotse habang pauwi. Saktong pagkauwi ko ay naubos ko na ang burrito ko. Hindi ko na inubos ang iced tea, dahil tubig na ang kailangan ng katawan ko.

Hindi ako ginabi, so safe ako sa bunganga ni Mommy. Hindi ako mararatatat today. Although it has been a number of years, I can honestly say that I have never missed or will ever miss having a conversation with my mother. You should probably save the final sermon for the day I leave the Philippines, though.

Pagpasok ko ng bahay, napaka linis at mabango pa. Wow, I mean, lagi namang malinis, pero bakit naman kumikinang ngayon and oh— amoy ibang tao pa. Like, amoy madrastang naka-2inches na stilettos na naka b****y red lipstick at naka tight bun na nakadress ng below the knee na amoy, ganon!

Typical mamita, ganon!

And I wasn't wrong when I mentioned that, dahil pagdating ko sa dining area ay may bisita kami. Ang tanga ko lang para hindi siguro mapansing may ibang sasakyang naka-park sa garahe namin.

It was a woman the same age as my mother, and of course, as anticipated, as my mother mentioned earlier today, the man was the son of a mutual acquaintance. A clean and proper son of a friend na kung hindi ako magkakamali sa instinct ko, isa siyang either abogado or senador. Gwapo siya, pero hindi ko ata type ang mga ganitong awrahan na parang pag tinignan ka ay parang tigre siyang susunggaban ka— actually, I'm exaggerating.

He gives off an impression of being polite and sweet, but solemn. I can't help but wonder whether or not he was coerced into coming here, because, hello? Paano niya ako makikilala eh kakauwi ko lang. Lol!

"Good Evening po." I greeted them, sayang naman effort ni Mommy sa pagpapakintab ng bahay.

"Oh, hija, you're much lovely in person.." I grinned since it was of the mamita variety.

PRETTIER IN PERSON — nakakadalawa na ako, ha?

"You are even more handsome than po," she said. I said, and she chuckled in response. Uy, uto uto. My subconscious is laughing, and I noticed that the anak of mamita was trying to stifle his own laughter as well.

Oh, so he's not really taking things that seriously! Cool.

However, there is still no room for a new problem.

"Hi. I'm Nahj "He did so with a grin on his face as he extended his hand for a handshake. "Yvette." I smiled back at him.

"Tamang tama ang dating mo, Hija. Together with your mother, I cooked a cake. Tikman mo, ha "She gave me a grin, and I nodded.

"Nahj, can you—"

"Sure, Mom." Sabi nito at tumayo mula sa kinauupuan at kumuha ng slice ng cake atsaka ako inalalayang makaupo.

Wow.

Is he... nicer than I had anticipated?

I fixated my attention on his eyes. It's possible that I appear strange right now, but I actually did see him—his eyes, maybe? Basta I saw it nga.

Nahj... your eyes... They are familiar to me... from somewhere.