Friends to Lovers

Chapter 6

I'm with James instead when we all decided to go home. Mila didn't bother to get me home at all and vice versa. It's the first time that I don't want to see Mila.

Ever since then, I always wanted her to become part of my day. It's like I can't go on if I didn't see her yet. Mila is my life, and that's how important she is to me.

I spent the next day doing nothing but only stay in my room. I told Jacob that I would be absent today as I didn't tell him that reason why. The truth is, I don't want to see Mila today. I know that it was a new and first time for me to do that kind of thing to her.

I just suddenly tried to protect myself once. Mila's been good to me as she always chooses me from time to time, and what I'm doing right now is being a selfish prick.

I didn't eat since I already lose my appetite, to begin with, and it's already afternoon when someone knocked at my apartment's door. I sighed. I couldn't stand up because my body couldn't move. I'm too weak, and I feel hot.

Someone keeps knocking on the door, and I don't even know if I lock it or not, and I know that it wasn't safe to do that as well, but people here are good neighborhoods.

But when I heard something clicking at the door, it confirmed that it's locked. A moment later, I felt the door opened as that someone walked straight to my bed where I was lying, and I knew from the start that it was Camila.

I immediately closed my weak eyes as I felt her sitting down beside my bed. I know that she's staring at me right now. She put her hand on my forehead down to my cheeks.

"I'm so sorry, Lau," I heard her let out a big sigh, "For being late," She continued, "I made a bad decision, didn't I?" She asked as if I could talk to her right now.

"Like tell me, Lau. I need to know what you want," She said with full of hope, and that made me stop for a moment because I don't know what to answer that question, and in fact, I am thankful that I couldn't move.

"If you want me not date Warren? I won't." I felt the sincerity in her voice. Instead of being happy with what she said, I suddenly felt guilty. "I'd rather lose all the men I might meet than to lose you, Lauren."

I'm selfish. I just realized that when I thought that I was only caring for Mila, I didn't know that I was blinded. The truth is I only want her for me, even if we are only friends.

But telling all this to me wants to hope that maybe Mila likes me too. I want to know her thought about me. I want to know how she feels for me, and I don't know, but it might give us a chance to change what we are right now.

No, no, I can't risk that. Our friendship is one of the most that I couldn't afford to lose. It was like an assurance stay on Mila's life. I want to support her from afar and witnessed how happy she will be in the life that she wanted to live.

"Tell me, Lau, do you want me to?" I didn't answer. Even if I want to, I know that it would be selfish of me, and it's not healthy for her if I do that. I'll be demanding too much.

So, even if it means letting her go for someone better, I would gladly do that for her because that's what she deserves. I will give her everything that she needs me to do because she's my everything.

"D-Do what makes you happy, Mila," I said, almost a whisper. I gave her a weak smile as I tried to hide my feelings for her.

Oh, Mila, why do I love you so much? It hurts me like hell, but I want to be right for you, even if it means only being your friend. I've been doing this for years, and I wouldn't mind counting another year to love you more.

"But you are the person who makes me happy, Lau," She said with tears streaming down her cheeks.

I almost panicked as I used all my strength to make my body sit on my bed as I could level her face. Why is Camila crying for someone undeserving to be with her?

"H-Hey," I whispered as I wiped her tears, "Don't worry about me, even if we get old and have your own family? I would still wipe your tears when you cry. I would be there whenever you need it, especially when you get your first two lines in pregnancy. Because I know that it will make you happy." I smiled at her as I looked directly into her eyes. I held her face as I wipe her tears, "You want a family, so build one," I continued.

"I love you, Camila Sawyer," I said heartedly. I love you much to the point that I could die loving you still.

"I love you more, Lauren Watterson," She replied as she held my face too as she wipes my tears. I didn't even know that I was already crying, "Damn you, Lau! You're making me cry!" She added, which makes me chuckled.

She is so adorable, even if she cries ugly. Maybe I should start punishing myself right now for making my girl cry because I don't deserve a single tear from her.

"Stop crying too. You're getting my spotlight!" She complained as we both laughed in unison when she said that, "I still don't forgive you for not telling me that you're sick, young lady!" She glared at me, and it made me smile for no reason.

I just love this woman.