Second Chance

Chapter 4

A couple of days passed by and all I did was spend time with my family and work on my photos. I had only a few more of James and Jodi's pictures left to edit and then we could get them printed and start planning the invitations. Jodi and I also got some of the wedding planning out of the way as well. The rest of my time I slept it away.

Now it's Monday, my second day of treatment. Hope was going with me to keep me company for the two hours I'll be there. I'm hoping to see Luca and Seth there. I want Hope to meet Seth because I think they would get along perfectly.

For breakfast I kept it light and only ate some fruit because I knew if I ate big I would just throw it up later on. Today I decided to just wear leggings, and a tank top but made sure to take a jacket and my blanket if I got too cold. Instead of pulling up my hair I left it down in its natural wave and wore a black beanie. I rarely wear any makeup so I didn't bother putting any on.

By the time I was finished getting ready and had gathered everything I was taking with me, it was time to leave. My appointment was at noon again, and I go twice a week for them.

When we got to the hospital and signed in, I was taken over to my seat to be hooked up. Hope was fascinated with it all, but that's because she's always wanted to work in the health field.

There weren't many people here today, but I did notice Seth was next to us but no Luca. I introduced Hope to Seth and they hit it off pretty good, but I had a feeling they would. Hope didn't have many friends but she was easy to get along with.

During the two hours I was there, I was able to get ten more photos edited and some of them I got uploaded onto my website. On the way home, Hope couldn't stop talking about Seth. I was happy she made a friend, they even exchanged numbers. The whole time she talked she had this smile on her face and I just knew if things kept going good she'd end up falling in love with him. I was a little upset that Luca wasn't there, I wanted to show him the pictures I took that I got done of him and Alice, but I tried not to let his absence bother me. Deep down inside another part of me just wanted to see him and his blue eyes.

When I arrived home I did the same as the last time, went and slept most of the day away. I even skipped dinner because I wasn't hungry. Dad wasn't happy but he knew I would just be in the bathroom throwing it all up later on.

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A month and a half have passed by and I can feel myself getting weaker, I eat less and I sleep more. I knew I would and I tried to prepare myself but no matter what I did, nothing seemed to work. I haven't seen Luca at the appointments with Seth, but Seth hasn't been to the last couple of ones, so I assume everything is going good for him. Hope still comes with me every once in a while when she's not busy to keep me company. It's nice having someone to talk to there, rather than keeping to myself because lately, I haven't been able to concentrate on my photos. 

Today I was going to see the doctor on how my progress was going. To say I was nervous was an understatement, I was terrified of what I'd find out. I was trying to stay positive and hope that I'd get good news today. 

Waking up this morning with a smile on my face because it felt like today was going to be a good day. No matter how tired and sick I felt I wasn't letting it bring me down. Since I had to go see my doctor, I didn't have to have chemo today.

After doing my morning routine I put on some leggings and a t-shirt. I've lost about ten pounds in the month in a half of doing chemo and I know everyone was starting to worry about me because my clothes were getting too big on me. I barely eat because I'm never hungry or when I do eat, the chemo in my system makes me sick and I throw it up. I've been trying out these cans of drinks that are supposed to help you gain weight but I don't think they're working. They also aren't the greatest tasting drink out there.

Today though I made myself eat some toast and fruit. Once I was finished eating the breakfast I had my dad drop me off at my doctor's appointment.

Once I was there I went straight into the office and signed my name and waited to be called back. Five minutes later I heard my name.

"Leighton Jones."

I stood up and followed a nurse to the room I was going to been seen in. A couple of days ago I had some test ran, so today we were going over the results. Another ten minutes after the nurse that took my vitals left, there was a knock on the door and Dr. Bowers walked in.

"Good afternoon Miss Jones. How are you doing today?"

"I'm okay. I have my ups and downs but today seems to be an up so far."

"That's good to hear. Now how do you think the treatment worked so far?" He asked me, but I was positive about it.

"I think it worked?" it came out more as a question than a statement, but I guess it's because I'm nervous about the true results.

"Good. Now we did run your tests the other day to see where you're at with everything. From the looks of things nothing has changed..." my mood instantly dropped from happy to sad. Nothing has changed meaning I was still at stage 2 and had to keep going through treatment. That meant me getting weaker, and having a high chance of losing all my hair.

"Now that can be a good thing or a bad thing. Good because it hasn't spread anywhere else or grown in size. Bad because it hasn't shrunk to determine if we can do surgery." he held a blank look but his eyes showed sympathy.

"So does that mean I continue chemo treatments?" I was trying to keep strong but you could tell I was failing.

"Yes, you'll continue and I'm going to put you on a different type and it'll be for 3 hours twice a week. You'll start that on Monday afternoon, your normal times. Do you have any more questions?" he asked.

"No, Thank you."

"I'll see you in another month and well do the same test and go from there."

"Okay. Thank you, Dr. Bowers."

I left there with a heavy heart. On my way out I texted Jodi to come and pick me up. It didn't take her long to get there.

I kept quiet on my way home holding back my emotions. I knew this wouldn't be an easy journey but I was hoping it would be. The thing I learned is to never get your hopes up. As we headed home I could tell Jodi wanted to ask questions but she stayed quiet, letting me stay in my thoughts.

When we finally got home I went upstairs and let the tears fall. Ever since I was 10 years old I had an idea of what my future would be like. I would go to college to become a photographer, open my own studio, meet the perfect guy and fall in love, get married, and have 3-4 kids. Now I wasn't sure what my life consisted of, other than battling cancer. My dreams were on hold, I wasn't even sure if I'd be able to have kids anymore after the chemo. I was only 19 years old and my life is already becoming a struggle. It's hard to stay positive when nothing positive happens to begin with.

With a heavy heart and my thoughts all over the place, I let the tears keep falling and let sleep take over my body.