Second Chance

Chapter 13

This couldn't be good. His look said it all. Now I wasn't sure if I wanted to know the news. 

"Miss Jones, I'm not going to beat around the bush about your results today. Things didn't change, and there's a new spot we found." I knew it was too good to be true. Nothing was going as planned. 

"Now I want to still continue your treatment if you want to as well. We still can not do any surgery because of the risks."

Knowing my dad would want to know the risks it wouldn't be too long before he asked questions in which he did.

"What risks are we looking at?"

I knew the answer to that and knew my dad would be against it as well. "If we take the chance and open her up there's a chance of the cancer spreading to other parts as soon as she’s open. There's also the chance of her dying on the operating table. That's not something I would "

My dad cut the doctor off because I knew he didn't want to hear any more about that. " No defiantly not an option, no way."

" Thought so, so in this case, she has two options. Option one is to continue the treatment that's she’s on now. Option two is to stop all treatment."

I decided to speak up this time, "What happens if I stop the treatment? How long would I have to live?" I couldn't look at my dad when asking this, I knew it was killing him.  I needed to know this though in case I couldn't take anymore. I was weak as it was and would continue to get weaker. All I asked was to make it to Jame's and Jodi's wedding.

"I would maybe say about 2 to 3 years, and that's without the treatment. Any more questions?"

I looked over at my dad who stayed quite the remainder of the visit to see he was holding back tears. I knew this was hard on him given the options. At this point, I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. 

"Is it okay if I take a few days to decide what I want to do?" Dad wanted to speak up but I gave him a pleading look, this was my battle.

"I wouldn't take longer than a week. I want you back on the chemo as soon as possible now that we see a new spot. We are not sure if that is cancerous or not. I don't want to take the chance if it is."

"Okay, thank you. I'll have an answer within the next 3 days for you.”

"I will be expecting your answer."

"Thank you, Dr. Bowers."

The car ride home was silent. I wasn't sure what to say to my dad, and it looked like he didn't either. I know he wants to bring up, but at the same time, I can tell he's not ready for this conversation. He's not ready for me to give up but knows it's my fight and not anyone else's.

I wasn't even sure myself what option I wanted to do. I want to keep fighting but at the same time just let it run its course. What I needed was to talk to someone who wasn't family that could help give me advice. My family would be all for continuing the treatment, but I needed both outlooks on it. 

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After we arrived home, I decided to take a walk and clear my head some. I'm hoping the fresh air will help me think through my thoughts and I can make a decision.  The weather was beautiful, the sun was out, but it wasn't super hot. It was perfect for a t-shirt and shorts. I made sure to put a wig on before I left the house, just wearing my bandana would have people staring, and I wouldn't be able to think straight.

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The walk was refreshing, but it wasn't helping me clear my head at all. The only thing I could think about was why me? Why did it happen to me? I had dreams for college and then to have a family one day, but now that may not be possible.  

The cool breeze was blowing my hair, but not strong enough to blow my wig off. The sun was up high, shining bright making it warm out, but me, I was cold. I'm always cold. I wish I would have brought a sweater with me.

Nearing the park, you could hear children's laughter.  As I kept walking, I noticed Luca sitting all alone at a table watching his little sister play on the playground. I was having a battle inside my head on whether to go and talk to him or to keep walking, but he spotted me first and waved. I waved back and decided to make my way over to him. 

"Hey, Luca."

"Hey Leighton, How are you doing?"

I gave him a tight smile, do I tell him the truth, or do I lie and say I'm okay. Not thinking, I told him the truth. "I wish I could say good, but that would be a lie. I went to the doctors today." His look went from happy to nervous when I told him that. 

"I'm going to assume you found results out today?"

"Yea, Umm...Nothings changed except for a new spot that they are not sure if it's cancerous or not. I have to options live the next 2-3 years the best of my ability, or I can continue one more round of chemo. I'm not sure what I want to do at this point." At that moment, a breeze hit me and made me shiver. Luca handed me his sweatshirt that I failed to notice that he had with him. I was beyond grateful for the warmth, and it was big enough for me to put on without it messing my wig up. On top of things, it smelt like him. 

"Thank you."

"No problem, but don't give up yet. In my opinion, I say do the treatment. I know you've probably had enough of it and want to stop but don't. Seth had to do three rounds of chemo before he was all clear for surgery. You know the saying goes third times a charm."

For once I smiled a real smile, I guess it's what I needed to hear from someone other than my family. 

I stayed at the park for a little while longer talking with Luca and laughing. It was amazing, and I think my crush on him grew more and more during that time. 

"Well, I better get my sister home before dinner. If you need anything text me or call me and I'll be there."

Thank you so much, Luca. It means a lot to me." I was hesitant at first, but I reached over and hugged him. Surprisingly, he hugged me back, but tighter, as if ill disappear on him. I didn't want this to end, but we both pulled away and went our separate ways. Him to his house and me, to let my family know I was going to go through one more round of chemo. I just hope this was the last time.