Hot & Heavy in Paradise: A Man for Every Season

Chapter 2

UTAH

WOW, Letty warned me that her friend Fiona might be a little jumpy when she first saw me, but this woman looked like she wanted to crawl into a hole and die rather than answer the door. I made a mental note to remember to stay at least three feet away if she let me inside her home. Fiona was probably hiding a Taser behind her back, and if I let my guard down for too long I'd wake up in the bathroom short one kidney.

Hey, urban legends had to start somewhere.

The front door opened again slowly, and she stood in the blank space staring at me with her arms crossed and a deep scowl plastered on her face. Neither of us talked. Me too scared that one wrong word would have her brandishing her Taser and her with her wide eyes looking like a bunny who saw a pot of boiling water. The longer I stared at her slim face and plump lips the cuter she became. Not a regular woman, but in a nineties Romantic comedy movie way. Stick her in an art class wearing overalls and I could be the handsome quarterback to make her into a Prom Queen.

"I'm Utah. I assume you confirmed my credentials over the phone?" She did because I listened to the entire phone call through the door. For someone worried about strangers, she sure had a flimsy front entrance.

Even after my awesome introduction where I tugged on the lapel of my jacket twice, Fiona just stared at me as though she thought if she waited long enough I'd explode and she wouldn't have to deal with what she'd signed up for anymore. But in my mind the contract was already signed, so I wasn't going away until I finished the job. And I planned to be thorough.

"And you are?" I coaxed.

The brown haired beauty sighed, giving in to my advances and let me into her house. "Fiona, Fiona Grey, but my friends call me Fi, but you are not a friend so don't do that."

Icy. She definitely wasn't flirting with me for my good looks, which hurt a little bit. I mean the job required good first impressions and appearance, so me not fazing her was unnerving.

But we still had time. She hadn't seen my glutes yet, so I'd been pretty sure I could turn her opinion in my direction. I was Utah Richardson, a true hat trick. I had the looks, the smarts, and I'd cut the cord from my mother when I moved out of the house, determined to make it on my own. What wouldn't she love?

I just had to help Fiona see it.

Maybe she needed glasses.

"I heard you need tutoring help, and if you tell me the subject and course, I can lay out a study plan for the week." We only had about five days together so we needed to use our time well if we'd get her grade higher. My pro bono work only went so long.

"Why naked tutoring?" she pressed rather than do any of the things I'd asked her to do.

A question I answered often. To my sister, Georgia, and all my other brothers and sisters named after various American states. My parents liked to travel... and get it on while traveling. The true horror of that fact wasn't realized until adulthood. It's colored all our happy family vacations in a different light.

"I naked tutor because I can do math," I said sitting on Fiona's couch. If she wanted to give me twenty questions, I'd least be comfortable while answering.

"Excuse me?" she asked standing in front of me but continuing her wide berth of twenty yards. As soon as I returned home, I planned to research how far a Taser reached while still hitting its mark.

"Regular tutoring services go for about fifteen bucks an hour, but naked tutoring costs forty-five. It's simple economics."

Her eyes widened, and she sat down in the overstuffed chair across the living room as if I'd been the one to stun her. "Holy s**t, $45 an hour?" Her face turned a weird pale shade of green. "I can't pay you $45 an hour. We drained my bank account standing here talking."

"Don't worry, you're my pro bono case." I thought it important to get into the habit of offering my services free to a few people a year. I wanted to follow in my father's footsteps and not only make a s**t load of money, but help others with my brains. Or abs. Whichever someone needed. I'd always been a helpful fucker.

"What, are you like a lawyer or something?" she mumbled a few words after that I didn't strain myself to hear.

I tugged on my suit jacket again, rather proud of this answer. "No, but I've already finished up a law degree. I'm now working on a PhD in Astrophysics."

"That's a smart person degree. What are you doing tutoring business stats?"

Finally, she saw my genius. "Yes, I'm smart and pretty."

Fiona rolled her eyes, but she had a slight smile as she did it. I was winning her over as expected.

"The truth is business stats is pretty much the same ideas and formulas as every other statistics. They just give it a pretty name and charge more." I loved math. If I couldn't teach her stats, I'd hand in my cupid bow and arrow in shame.

"Well it shouldn't be this hard. I promise I'm a relatively smart person, but the math is so confusing. I just want to finish this course so I can graduate and take my job as an office manager."

"The easiest way to learn is to put the material into something you can relate to. It helps you remember."

"Well my ninety-five-year-old professor who has just about as much expression as Ben Stein sure isn't helping the matter. He's so dry."

My mouth opened ready to make a joke about her not being dry after I finished with her, but I closed my lips together. Something warned me she wouldn't find my joke funny.

"Well, when I come back tomorrow, where do you want to study? Here or somewhere else?"

"Well not the bedroom!" Her face looked ashen again, and she clutched a hand to her chest. The only thing that'd make her look more like a church lady clutching her pearls was if she'd worn pearls. Which is another dirty joke all in itself. I already had a sense it was going to be hard being around Fiona.

There's another one. I couldn't stop.

"What I wanted to know is would you like to study here, or maybe you prefer someplace else, like the local coffee shop?" I never met a woman more like a nervous a bunny than Fiona. Georgia warned me I'd eventually end up tutoring someone who didn't have a personality, but I didn't figure it would happen or I'd find her so beautiful.

And for the strangest reason that was happening. The longer we sat in Fiona's living room talking, the hotter she became. Her trim legs and the jeans that hugged them, the way she held her arms in her lap like a proper f*****g lady... I didn't know those existed anymore? She might have been a church lady, but she was a gorgeous one. The mousy brown hair she had tucked up in a ponytail fell over one shoulder and I could only imagine how long it would hang loose. Her green eyes sparkled when she moved just right, which I thought only happened in the movies and poorly written books, but here it played out right before my very own eyes.

Her face, thin and body maybe a little frail, like you wanted to wrap her up in a hug and keep her safe. Whatever it was about her, I found myself not wanting to leave even though I had no reasons to still be here.

Fiona needed time to warm up to me, and I promised myself it would happen during the week. I'd started our meeting already dreading coming back the next day, but as the time neared to a close, I didn't want to go.

"Is it hot in here?" I asked and Fiona shook her head. "Oh it must be you making the room warm."

My joke flew over her head as she sat there shaking it. "I don't think so. I'm not warm."

"Well, I'm hot." I slipped out of the oversized suit jacket I'd worn, leaving me bare chested on her couch. "To make you more comfortable with the process, let's get to know one another more."

"Well..."

"Hometown?" I started off the rounds of questions with an easy one.

Fiona scowled, unhappy over whatever memories that place invoked. "Out east. And you?"

"Vegas, born and raised. Conceived in Utah." I added that extra bit to help her feel more at ease.

Fiona did exactly what everyone does when they learn that handy piece of knowledge. Her nose crinkled up, and she leaned back with a heightened eyebrow.

"What, you don't know where that happened for you?" I never determined if having this information was a blessing or a curse, but I did get to use it at the most convenient times.

She shook her head again. "No, I guess if I thought about it, I might be able to hash it out, but I don't want to ever think about it."

I laughed, the first genuine smile I'd worn since she let me in the place, thoughts of Tasers momentarily relieved. "My sister Georgia spent a whole year in therapy after she learned. Okay next question - cats or dogs?"

"Dogs, for sure. What's your favorite late night snack?" She joined the game with a question of her own.

"You don't want to learn about my dog or cat preference? What if it's a deal breaker?"

Fiona laughed. "I love all animals, so even if you said you were a cat person I'd be okay with it. Now food, that could be a deal breaker."

Right, a woman who liked food. She was only winning more points in my book. "Pizza if it's after 11 p.m. or I've had more than two drinks. Otherwise I like a nice juicy burger."

Fiona nodded as if she agreed with my assessment and found my answers acceptable. That's how we spent the next two-and-a-half hours. The time went by so fast it was almost dark outside the window before I forced myself to stand up and leave.

Tomorrow seemed a long way away, but I'd be back as quickly as possible. I couldn't let my bunny get away from me now.