The Things We Can’t Pretend Anymore
823 Words
The café didn't feel the same after Daniel left. It wasn't quieter, it wasn't emptier, it was… sharper like everything that had been held back for too long was finally sitting between them, waiting to be said.
Courtney busied herself with the counter again wiping, arranging, fixing things that didn't need fixing, anything but looking at him.
"You don't have to do that," Renz said.
"I'm working."
"You're avoiding me."
She stopped just for a second then continued. "I'm not."
"You are."
Courtney set the cloth down harder than she intended. "Why are you here, Renz?" she asked, finally looking at him. The question wasn't soft, it wasn't careful, it was tired.
Renz didn't hesitate. "Because I saw you with him."
Courtney blinked. "So?"
"So I needed to see it for myself."
"That doesn't make sense."
"It does to me."
She let out a quiet, disbelieving breath. "You don't get to show up because of that."
"Why not?"
"Because you left." There it was, clear, sharp, unavoidable.
Renz stepped closer. "I didn't leave because I didn't care."
"That doesn't change the fact that you did."
"I was trying to—"
"Protect me?" she cut in. "Protect yourself? Figure things out?" Her voice shook slightly now. "I've heard all of it before."
Renz's jaw tightened. "This is different."
Courtney laughed softly but there was no humor in it. "That's what people always say when it's already too late."
Silence.
"You're seeing him," Renz said not a question, a statement.
Courtney crossed her arms. "I'm talking to him." "That's not the same?"
"No." Renz held her gaze. "It will be."
That hit something, something she didn't want to admit but she didn't let it show. "And if it is?" she challenged.
Renz didn't answer right away because this was the part he didn't want to face.
Courtney stepped closer now, closing the distance he created. "You don't get to ask that," she said quietly.
"I'm not asking."
"Then what are you doing?"
A pause. "Trying to understand why it's him now."
That did it. Courtney's expression shifted completely not guarded, not careful, hurt. "It's not 'him,'" she said.
"Then what is it?"
"It's not you."
Silence. Renz stilled because that was the first time she said it like that.
Courtney exhaled shakily. "You don't get to come back and question what I'm doing when you were the one who walked away."
"I didn't walk away from you."
"You walked away from this," she said, gesturing between them. "And that includes me."
Another pause but this time, it didn't hold, it cracked. "I came back," Renz said.
"Too late." The words landed instantly, heavy, final.
Renz stepped closer again, closer than before. "Then why does it still feel like this?" he asked.
Courtney's breath caught because she knew what he meant. She felt it too.
"This doesn't just go away," he added.
"Maybe it should," she replied.
"Do you want it to?"
Silence. Long. Painful. Honest. Courtney looked at him, eeally looked and for a moment everything else faded. Daniel. The café. The noise, all of it just them.
"I want something that stays," she said softly.
Renz's voice dropped. "I'm still here."
"For now." There it was again, that line, that distance, that fear.
"I'm not leaving," he said.
"You already did."
"I came back."
"And what happens when it gets hard again?" she asked.
Renz didn't answer immediately and that was enough.
Courtney nodded slowly. "Exactly." Another crack, deeper, louder.
"You think he won't leave?" Renz asked quietly.
"This isn't about him."
"It is."
"No," she said firmly. "It's about you not being able to choose."
That hit hard. "I chose to come back," he said.
"That's not the same as choosing to stay."
Silence. They stood there too close, too far, too everything.
Renz ran a hand through his hair, frustration breaking through. "What do you want from me?" he asked.
Courtney's voice softened. "Something real."
"This is real."
"It doesn't feel stable."
Another pause. Courtney looked at him one last time and this time there was no hesitation in her voice.
"I can't keep waiting for you to figure it out," she said.
That was it, the line, the decision. The thing that couldn't be taken back. Renz stilled because he knew, this wasn't just frustration, this was her letting go.
"Courtney—"
"I mean it," she said, cutting him off gently. Her voice wasn't angry anymore, it was calm and that made it worse.
"I can't do this again," she added.
Silence. Renz looked at her like he wanted to say something, fix something, change something but for once there were no right words. So he didn't say anything and that silence said everything.
Courtney nodded slightly like she understood, like she expected it then she stepped back, creating distance, real distance this time and just like that it happened again. Not because he left but because she did.
- Writer
