Nineteen

Chapter 14

▪XIX▪

Trixie

Ah..... What if they knew about it? It was so awkward. Two weeks had passed and I still remember that until now. Why did I let him kissed me? I was like a stupid dumb ass who was standing while he was kissing me. My whole body stiffened. He destroyed my first kiss. I was praying before for someone who will become my first boyfriend must be my first and last kiss and the last man in my life. What would gonna happen now that he already kissed me? He is not my boyfriend or courting me either. That was the most embarassing moment. I couldn't explain why my heart beats so fast. I should have slap him!

This is the most difficult thing to handle. My God! What am I going to do? I'm in my work but what's on my mind was the situation two weeks ago. I didn't realized that my boss were in my office.

Alexandre: "Ms. Trixie do you hear me?"

Trixie: "Huh? Ah... Pardon?"

Alexandre: "I just wanted to ask you for dinner. Is it okay?"

I made an alibi because I don't think it was right being with him. I don't know what was his reason why he always asks me for a dinner or sometimes lunch. I am not really comfortable with him. Alexandre left me in the office after that.

I received text messages from Christoph.

From:Christoph

'I really am sorry Trix. Are you free? Is it okay if I fetch you after work? Are you avoiding me?'

I don't know if I will reply or not. At the back of my mind, I want to even it was awkward. As I've decided I texted him back.

To:Christoph

'Okay.'

That was the only thing I've sent to him. I tell myself that I won't see him nor reply to his messages but I ruined my own plan. First step failed. Ano ba gagawin ko sa sarili ko? Is he seducing me? Okay trip nya lang iyon! Everytime I think about him I was like an i***t because there was nothing coming out from my mind. I love the way he smiles. No!

I always depends on him since he knew my secret. After an hour Christoph came and he gave me bouquet of flowers and chocolate. What are the reasons his giving me those stuffs? Is he courting me, like what Jake said? No! I'm not the kind of girl he likes. He's just friendly.

Christoph: "Is it okay to go there?"

Trixie: "Where?"

Christoph: "T-To your favorite place."

Trixie: "Yeah. But are you sure? kasi hatinggabi na tayo makakarating doon."

Christoph: "It's okay."

Trixie: "How about my car? May dala ako ngayon eh nasa parking area."

Christoph: "Leave it there. Sa Monday hatid na kita papuntang work."

Trixie: "Okay. Dadaan muna pala ako sa bahay."

Dumaan muna kami sa bahay then I checked if naka-close lahat ng pinto and yung glass door sa room ko kasi lagi ko na lang naiiwan na bukas. I brought my personal things. We'll be staying there for one night. Okay lang naman sa akin kasi matino sya. One thing is for sure I'm always safe with him. He is my 'Safe zone'.

Pagdating namin sobra yung liwanag. May ilaw naman doon but that doesn't like this one. Sobra liwanag simula tree house hanggang riverside. Did he prepared all this? May mga nakasabit na lantern. It was really beautiful. May table and two chairs sa ilalaim ng puno.

Trixie: "It's really beautiful. D- Did you prepared this?"

Christoph: "Y-Yeah. Do you ahm really l-like it?"

Trixie: "Of course. I really do like it. Thank you Christoph!"

Christoph: "Welcome!"

Trixie: "Christoph why are you all doing this for me?"

Christoph: "I just wanted to.... because I always wanted to see you happy. That's it."

Trixie: "Christoph I want your real reason. Why are you doing this?"

Christoph: "To be honest, I-I like you."

I was dumbfounded. He likes me?! Is it real? How does he likes me? I'm not the type of girl he likes. He will never like someone who's boring, boyish, and too innocent. Oh my Lalala!! I like him but I couldn't admit it!

Christoph: "I'm sorry for telling you.... but it's true Trix. I like you not just as friend but someone I want to take care of, to know more and someone I'll spend my time. I am always with you because I realized I can't live anymore w/out seeing nor talking to you. I know I hurt you before but I really am sorry Trix. You always brings the best in me although I couldn't tell it to you before."

Trixie: "W-What if it's just infatuation?"

Christoph

It was one of my move to get her. I'm doing on our deal but the surprises and everything I'm doing weren't on the deal. I just really wanted to. While I was telling her all those words it look so real. Do I really like her? No! I was just carried away because of desperation to win the bet. If she found out the truth she will probably gets angry at me. I don't want Mike get her so I must win in our deal. I won't fall for her! Not now!

Christoph: "Its' all true. Maybe nagulat ka but it was all real. I really want to pursue you. I want to court ... I mean go to the next stage. So please..."

Trixie: "Please what?"

I came nearer. I held her hands gently. My heart was pounding fasts. What was happening to me? It was just a game!

Christoph: "Please let me show you how much I want to take care of you, to know more things about you and to love you."

Trixie: "Christoph I-I d-don't know what to say... What if we just hurt each other? I mean what if I just hurt you?"

Christoph: "Trix there's no what if's... all I want right now is I want to court but if you can't decide now, I can wait for it until you're ready."

Trixie: "Can't we just take it slowly? It's a new thing for me Christoph. I don't want to have regrets if we take it without thinking."

'Regrets?' What if I really like her and she found out this? I will loose her if that will happen. She is too kind for me to play her feelings but I coudn't turn back now because I already started the game.

Christoph: "I can. I'll do everything just to make sure that I won't hurt you again."

She just smiled at me. I want to tell her the truth but I can't. We had our dinner and after that we went to the riverside. We both sat on the rocks. I put my coat on her shoulder.

Trixie: "Thank you!"

Christoph: "It's nothing."

Trixie: "Christoph thanks for everything. Thank you because you're always there for me even I'm always mad at you and most of all thanks for keeping my secret."

Christoph: "It's nothing. Trix I'm always here for you no matter what happens. Just tell me if you have problem I'll help you and if you need someone to talk to I'm always here to listen. You're one of the greatest things in my life."

Everything were true. She is one of the greatest things I'm very thankful for. Trix is really kind.

Trixie: "I'll always be here for you, too even I was not an expertise when it comes to advising. Haha..."

I let her leaned at my back. We kept on talking util dawn. I realized that she fell asleep at my back. I lifted and brought her to the tree house. She's sleeping like an angel. She has all the things I want from a girl. I always tell myself that she is not the type of girl I like but that wasn't true. 'I hope you'll forgive for everything once you find out this.' I whispered on her ears while she's quietly sleeping.

We stayed there til' the afternoon. She got some fruits from my car that she brought last night.

Trixie: "Gusto mo sumama sa foundation? It will lessen your stressed."

Christoph: "Let me think about it. Do you always go there?"

Trixie: "Not really kasi every Sunday lang naman. I promise masaya doon. Sige na..."

Christoph: "Fine. Next week."

Trixie: "Thanks!"

While we're walkin' on the riverside she suddenly slipped off to the rocks. I quickly catched her. Inalalayan ko sya sa likod so she won't fall on the ground. She held the collar of my clothes. I looked at her. The intensed feeling the last time I kissed her came back. How could she brings this kind of feelings to me even she's not doing anything? Again I lost. I kissed her. I want to stopped myself but I couldn't. When my lips met hers I kissed her passionately while my hands are on her waist. This was the first time she responds to my kiss. She held my neck to the strands of my hair. It was the first time I felt the contentment with just a kiss; a kiss from the innocent woman. I thought she was just a sister to me before but all those thoughts had gone because of a kiss. The second kiss, though. It was really special for me. Before we parted I felt a liquid comes out from her eyes. We're both catching our breath. I know that she's crying. She looked on the ground blankly. I was her first kiss and second kiss.

Christoph: "I-I'm sorry Trix."

I told utterly.

Trixie: "I was stupid that I respond. A-are you taking advantage of me?"

Christoph: "No. It's because of feelings I have for you. I was trying to stopped myself but I couldn't."

What the f**k! Everything I've told her were true. I love the way she is. I realized that I like her since the first time I met her I just couldn't admit it because she was the only girl who doesn't find me attractive and smart. The girl who doesn't care if I'm angry or not and the girl who doesn't give attention to my stupidity.