LOVING THE MADMAN

An Unspoken Longing

Clearing my throat gently, I tried to meet his gaze, only to find that he still refused to look at me. His eyes were fixed ahead, as if I weren't even there.

"Is it just me, or do you hate festivals?" I began, in a light, teasing tone, watching his face for any reaction.

There was none.

"I hate crowds," he said finally, in a very reluctant tone.

I nodded, trying not to feel stupid for standing there. "I understand it can be too much sometimes."

I didn't know why I was still speaking when it was obvious my presence wasn't even wanted.

Troy didn't reply.

"Just give up and walk away already!" My ego screamed.

But a part of me still longed for that spark, no matter how fleeting. A part of me still hoped to feel it again.

"You're doing a great job pretending I'm not here, Mr. Ryder," I tried again.

It took one look from Troy.

One look from those harsh black eyes clashing with mine, and the spark I'd been longing for didn't just return; it exploded through me.

It slammed into me with the force of a shockwave.

It stole the breath from my lungs and made my stomach churn with mixed emotions.

No. It couldn't be. Could it?

It wasn't the pull of the mating bond. It couldn't be.

It was probably just dopamine. Or attraction. Or the red wine I'd had earlier.

Anything else but the mating bond.

Troy's voice snapped me out of my worrisome thoughts.

"Princess," he said gruffly. "You're a distraction I cannot afford right now."

It took a moment for his words to sink in, for me to realize he'd just told me, politely and elegantly… to get lost.

"Oh." My cheeks burned with heat and humiliation. I suddenly wished I could disappear into thin air.

My ego had already taken a severe beating tonight, and in a desperate attempt to save face, I panicked… and blurted out the first lie that came to mind.

"Actually, I was just looking for the bathroom. That's why I came over." I babbled. "Directions were what I came for."

It was such a terrible lie that even I wouldn't have bought it.

The f*****g cocky bastard. There was no way he could even be my mate.

Did he have any idea how many men would kill for my attention?

I was a werewolf princess. A PaleMoon. Royalty.

And here he was, acting like I meant nothing.

I'd been too preoccupied to notice Lyla approaching again, this time with another bodyguard in tow, until she was standing right in front of us, smiling brightly.

Still flushed from embarrassment, I lowered my head, not daring to look at Troy.

"Luna Lyla, I was just wondering if there's a restroom nearby," I mumbled to her.

Lyla's expression softened. "Oh no, Princess," she said sweetly. "You should use the one in the main house."

Then she turned to Troy. "Mr. Ryder, why don't you show her to the bathroom? She's a guest of honour, after all. Ian will take over until you return."

Troy tensed beside me, his jaw ticking as he turned to look at his Luna.

I would've squirmed under that stare had it been directed at me, but Lyla didn't even flinch. She was obviously used to his attitude.

Trying to defuse the awkwardness, I spoke again.

"Oh, never mind… I'll manage."

The last thing I needed was to be escorted by someone who didn't want me around.

Lyla turned to me, her smile still in place, but her tone was firm and final.

"You deserve an escort, Princess," she said. "Troy will take you."

Sighing in defeat, I nodded.

Troy turned without speaking and gestured for me to follow.

Hesitant, I walked beside him, keeping pace.

I hadn't planned to say anything. To be honest, I was content to stew in silence, especially after he'd called me a 'distraction.'

But the walk to the main house, while short, felt longer thanks to the suffocating tension between us.

"You don't have to walk me if I make you uncomfortable," I said coldly. "I know you're under Luna Lyla's orders, but I'm fine on my own here. Just point me in the right direction." I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Relax, Princess. I can survive five minutes of your company." Troy replied.

If he hadn't said it in that dry, flat tone, I might've believed he was joking.

“Besides." He continued, unfolding his hands from behind him. He reached up to brush aside a strand of hanging lights from the tree, clearing the way so it wouldn't bother me.

"If something happened to you while you were alone, it'd be on me."

We were making progress. He was speaking more now.

Whatever this was... it was making progress.

"Do you ever smile?" I asked, glancing sideways at him.

"No."

"Do you know how to smile?" I pushed, partly to annoy him.

Troy let out a slow breath and came to a halt, turning fully to face me. I had no choice but to stop, too.

We were far from the celebration now, and we could already see the main house from here, but where we stood was quiet, dim, and deserted.

He rested his hands on his hips and came toward me. Subconsciously, I took a step back, unable to look away from him.

"What do you want from me, Athena?" he asked.

My name didn't sound soft on his tongue, like it did on others.

It sounded dirty. Filthy.

And I felt it in places I shouldn't.

It also sounded like he was holding back.

If only he knew how much I wanted to sink to my knees and take him inside my mouth while he dug his fingers into my hair and let out guttural groans of pleasure.

If only he knew how much I wanted him to destroy me. How much I wanted those strong, rough, large hands grabbing my hips as I rode him, grabbing my throat… my breasts.

I wanted him deep inside me until I forgot how to breathe or even think.

These were thoughts a princess shouldn't be having. Thoughts I hadn't entertained in years, yet somehow, Troy had dragged them all out without even trying.

"I want you to smile," I said at last, lying through my teeth and trying to sound in control, because thinking about him like that left me breathless.

"Or just... show any other emotion besides that," I added, motioning vaguely at his face with my finger.

"I don't smile, Princess," he said, taking another step closer. For a brief second, his eyes lowered to my lips. "But if it'll shut you up, I might consider it."

Geez, why was he so cruel?

The fact that he'd only offer me a smile to stop me from speaking said everything.

I straightened angrily. "Forget it," I snapped, glaring up at him. "I won't bother you again."

Turning, I walked off furiously, only to stop after taking a few steps. Something in me refused to let it go.

I spun around and stormed back to him.

"You're a jerk, you know that?" I fumed. "You're the only one who's made me feel like s**t tonight. And I've met pllllenty of people."

He merely stared at me, unbothered as hell, while I brimmed with anger. And it infuriated me even more.

"Seriously?" I snapped, taking a step closer to him. "You have nothing to say? Not even a fake apology?"

His eyes dropped to my mouth again before they found mine once more.

"I don't do fake," he said.

"Oh, right. My mistake," I scoffed, leaning in until I was barely an inch away from him, tilting my head upward to look into his eyes. "Forgive me, Mr. Genuine."

"Take a step back," he ordered.

I didn't move an inch. "Or what, Mr. Ryder? What exactly are you going to do?"

He let out a slow breath, his jaw tightening as he spoke again. "Take a step back, Athena. Before I do something I shouldn't."

I released a mock gasp, my hand flying to my chest dramatically.

Troy's eyes followed the movement… and stayed.

My gown, a glorious masterpiece of sequins and stones, hugged me like a second skin. The neckline dipped provocatively low, the back more bare than the front.

My father had only let me wear it because I wasn't going to the festival alone. I was surrounded by family.

And family meant protection.

But standing in front of Troy Ryder now, under his heated gaze… I suddenly wasn't so sure I wanted protection.

"Oh no, what are you going to do? Put your hands on me?" I ventured dramatically. "How scandalous…"

His black eyes darkened further, and for a second, I thought I'd pushed him to the edge and he might snap.

But his voice was filled with a restrained longing that had the butterflies in my belly flying around in circles.

"No." He said it plainly. "I'd kiss you, Athena. And once I start, I won't stop at just your lips."

Troy lowered to my eye level, his face serious. "I'd kiss you like you asked for it… And don't lie, Princess, you have been asking.”