The Assassin's Kryptonite

Out of Breath

I was running out of breath.

Not even ten minutes of walking into the dark forest and I’m running out of breath. and no. It's not because I’m tired or something but it is because I can’t seem to know how to make myself stop crying. Please stop crying, Camille Louella Herrera Montellano! Just please stop!

I knew that I still have a long way to go.

I don’t even have a plan. f**k it, but I can’t even think of any plan. I can’t think of anything right now and I’d like to rack my brain somewhere just so I can have something. Just so I can think of something. Just so I can finally stop crying and do something about my crappy situation.

“Please stop crying…. Just please stop Cami….”

I don’t know if it’s even a sane decision to just talk myself out of it, but I literally don’t have any other choice right now. I’m literally on the verge of losing my mind.

I look back at when everything started. The day I was kidnapped. I felt scared and angry but seeing him, I just felt safe all of a sudden. There’s this thing in him that made me feel like everything is fine. That everything will be fine.

I know I sound ridiculous right now. I know that. I know that I want to hurt myself. But that’s how I felt. I felt like we’ve known each other for so long already contrary to the fact that we’ve only met at the most frightening time of my life.

And then it went from days to weeks. It went so fast that I didn’t even notice that I was beginning to feel so comfortable living this life with him. the kind of life that is so far from what I’m used to. The kind of life that I have never thought I’d be living. Not even in a million years.

I went soft. I went from being the rich bratinella who only cares for herself and her parents into a woman who’s incredibly scared when she thought that Trevor left her. The kind of woman who was happy eating using her hand. The kind of woman who considered washing clothes and taking a bath in the fall.

I was beginning to not recognize myself and I was aware of what was happening. I was completely aware, and I didn’t do anything because I was comfortable. I was happy. I was even happier living here. I was happier living this life than the life I used to have. And that’s scary. Incredibly scary. But I didn’t care.

I was so happy to even care. I was too engrossed in the fantasy that my brain created to even care. I was in so deep that there are days that I forget I was kidnapped. There are days that I forget I have a family who is probably not sleeping at night just to look for me.

I was so happy.

And where does that leave me right now. I was here. Catching my breath, crying like there’s no tomorrow and walking in a direction I didn’t know. I’m here, hurting and have zero plans on how she will live her life from now on.

It hurts. So much.

It hurts so much that I don’t think I could continue breathing while marching ahead. So, I had to stop. I had to stop. Yes, I need to. To catch my breath. just that. For that reason, I’m going to stop.

Not because I was hoping for him to come after me.

No. That's not it. Please…… that’s not it.

“Oh god….” I was crutching my chest because the sobbing has intensified to the point that I can feel my heart about to jump out of my chest. I can feel my heart hurting. I can feel it beating so fast and loud that I can hear it boom right in my ears.

“Please stop….” And then I succumbed to the darkness that was reeling me in. finally…. darkness.

I woke up feeling cold. I open my eyes into the darkness. Oh, it’s night already.

It’s night and I’m in the middle of a dark forest. It’s night and I’m all alone. It’s night and my tears began falling again. oh god! Stop me from crying already. I’m done with it already. I don’t want to feel pain anymore. It’s too much! I can’t take it anymore.

“I need… t-to get away from here…. You need to Camille…”

All I have is myself and I should be okay with that. All I have is myself and I should find a way to get through this. One day at a time. I could do this!

And when I thought I finally had the courage to walk ahead, my stomach began grumbling. I was so hungry. I didn’t even eat for today. And I’m so thirsty. I remember how Trevor Helios always gives me what I want to eat.

He always delivers. He always feeds me incredible food which I always wonder how he does because we’re in the middle of an island where he only has salt to make the food great. I never understood how he could stand me.

I never understood why he never got mad. He does go silent every time I pissed him off but never mad. He always tried to understand me. And I thought that’s because he cared for me enough to let me off easily every time.

But no. Maybe that’s just part of his job. It’s part of his job to keep me here and that includes making me trust him. That includes making me stay alive. That includes feeding me. That includes washing my clothes. That includes carrying me all day when I was injured.

“He’s not here Camille Louella, stop thinking about him.”

Stop thinking about all the what ifs. Stop thinking about how he is right now. I should really start being selfish again. because that’s who I am. Selfish, arrogant and a b***h. That’s who Camille Louella Herrera Montellano is.

“He doesn’t even care about you so f*****g snap out of its Camille! Stop thinking about—ahh!”

I immediately closed my eyes and covered my ears when lightning struck. After just a few seconds, the thunder bellowed and after that, the rain started.

“f**k! Why does it have to rain now!” I run not knowing where to go. That’s why it’s so dark. The moon is out and there’s not even a single star in the sky. Because it’s going to f*****g rain! Agh!

I half ran as I started to get drenched with water. I open my eyes trying hard to see where I’m going. I might be falling off a cliff and I’m not even going to know about it before I fall and meet my death! Ugh! Now I’m starting to hate Trevor for making me feel this! For making me fear death.

I’m starting to hate him for making me want to go back and find shelter in him. I hate him so much that I felt like crying again! ugh!

When I almost stumbled on what felt like a branch, I stopped. Oh, this is not a branch, it’s a tree root! That means a tree is nearby! So, I had to almost crawl just to find it. And when I did, I sighed deeply and thanked all the heavens.

It helped. A little. But it still helped. I was not getting rained on from above, but the wind is so strong that I have to pat myself for doing a good job and bringing the denim jacket with me. I mean it’s not everything but at least I’m just freezing and not freezing to death. There’s a big difference between the two. Trust me.

Oh no. don’t trust me. Don’t trust me because I was stupid enough that a man would just magically end up in a place where the kidnapers brought me. I was stupid enough to believe in faith. I was stupid enough to believe a stranger. I was stupid enough and now I’m going to pay for it by dying alone in this stupid forest.

I’m going to pay for it by not being able to say goodbye to my parents. I’m going to pay for it by dying a f*****g virgin who everyone thinks is a slut! I’m going to die! I’m going to die a pathetic w***e! I’m going to die as someone who fell in love with her potential captor! Stupid Camille Louella Herrera Montellano. I don’t even deserve to be called a Herrera Montellano!

Our family motto is ‘The legacy never ends.’ It’s the one thing that got my family’s enemy to come at my father because when I was born, and I was a girl. Everyone believed that the Montellanos were cursed. And when my mother developed a complication at birth leading her to not being able to conceive again, all our enemy’s preached that we’re finished.

That my father has no heir. That the legacy my family keeps on talking about is finished. But no. my father said no. He said never. Because I am his child. And in me there’s power.

“You are my daughter Louella; do you understand that? You are a Montellano, and no one can change that.”

“But they said that they pity you dad. They said that I was a disgrace,” I sobbed as my father who was more than 6 ft tall brought me, her five-year-old daughter in his arms.

It was my father’s 35th birthday and one of the country’s biggest hotel lawns, which happened to be ours, was packed with visitors who were celebrating his birthday with us. There were a lot of businessmen and of course, they also brought their kids with them.

I thought we were all having a good time because they let me play with them. But the moment I had to go to the bathroom and when I came back, I heard them talking behind my back. I mean how can children talk like that. How can five-year-old kids speak those vile words? How can they? How can they think they know me when they don’t?

“That’s not true,” I saw how my father clenched his jaw. He looked scary and he looked intimidating… for others. But not to me. Because to me, he’s the greatest father anyone could ask for. To me, he’s the only father I could be proud of. “You’re Camille Louella Herrera Montellano and you are my legacy. Can you repeat that princess?” he was smiling as he wiped my tears which continued to stream down my face.

“I am Camille Louella Herrera Montellano.”

“And?”

“And I am my father’s legacy.”

“That’s right. You are my legacy, Louella. You and your mother are my heart and soul. Never let anyone tell you otherwise, okay?”

“Okay daddy.”

“Can you smile for daddy now?”

“Okay,” I exclaimed, giving him the widest smile, I could ever muster.

“There’s my beautiful baby!” my father exclaimed as he carried me in his back.

“Camille? Honey!” my mother was approaching us with her worried face. “Where have you been? I’ve been looking all over for you!” My mother scolded us but when my father and I kissed her on the cheeks, her frown immediately disappeared.

“Sorry, hon.”

“You should be sorry! Who abandons his own birthday party anyway?” My mother scolded my dad again but when we were close enough to one of the lights, my mother immediately took me away from my father.

“What happened to my baby?! Where are you crying?” she exclaimed but I just smiled at her. I am fine now. And I don’t need to worry her anymore. Maybe because I’m an only child, but my mother’s extremely protective of me.

“Oh, about that,” my father suddenly spoked with a stern expression on his face.

“What hon?” my mother asked.

“I need to make some companies crumble in my hands.”

“What?”

“For making my daughter cry….”