Fall for Me

foreword

~ a s h t o n

June 2nd, 2020, 10:04 pm

My dearest Leora,

Time moves on so fast and I wish we had done so much more together, but we all must accept our fate, and this is mine.

You look so peaceful when you sleep, and happy, which makes me smile.

I never will regret not telling you that the poison in my body was going to kill me and I know you may hate me for it, but, my darling, I believed, and still do, that if I had told you, your feelings for me would have most certainly changed, and I could not afford to lose you. I did not want you to worry on my behalf either, for seeing your delicate smile falter would break my heart.

I keep thinking back to the time when we shared our first kiss. I would do anything just to relive every moment of it all with you, and to spend eternity holding you in my arms.

I remember when we had our first argument and you had told me you hated this place and everything and everyone in it. That shattered my heart. I tried to tell myself you were angry and would come back to your senses soon enough, but I kept getting this feeling that you were telling the truth, and that you would leave me if you could. But right now, I would give everything for you to break my heart one last time, or to break it a million times more. My beautiful Leora, remember that my heart was, and still is, only ever yours to break.

This moment, I am picturing our future. The future we could have. The future where I could see you walking down the aisle toward me, looking enchantingly beautiful in your dress; the future where I could fall asleep with your delicate form in my arms, and could wake you up every morning with a kiss on your forehead; the future where we could carry our children in our arms and walk hand-in-hand across the garden under the morning sunshine, and the future where our hair could begin to grey together.

Leora, remember that you are what makes not only my life, but the lives of others, whole. You are what makes the whole world bloom with color. You are what rain is to a withering flower; you are what the ocean is to the dolphins and whales; you are what the fruits are to a starving bird, and you are what the sunshine is to a frozen lake. And my every breath and every heartbeat is yours. You make me want to exist, to thrive like never before.

But I know I cannot any longer.

Promise me one last thing. Promise me you will find love and cherish it. Promise me you will find happiness and good in life even when others cannot. Promise me you will stay strong and live, even when I cannot be there to protect you. Promise me you will not lose hope and keep fighting, and promise me you will smile. Your smile is like spring breaking through the ashes of a dreary winter. Smile.

There is only one thing I regret not doing earlier, and that is telling you that I love you. I should have let you know I fell for you the moment I saw you standing in the center of the room, glowing and shining brighter than anyone else.

I love you, Leora, do not forget that. I love you and I never will stop loving you. 

Yours forever,

Ashton