Fall for Me

eleven

~ l e o r a

THE WEATHER WAS fair this morning, with wisps of white, cotton-like clouds drifting across the sky like feathers floating along with the breeze. Tendrils of my long hair billowed in the air around me, forming a cradle around my head. The sun shone brighter than ever, light extending from the horizon onward. A line of graceful birds whipped across the sky, their calls ringing out. Their cried sounded like bells, rocking tolling gently.

I leaned back in my seat, my head tilting back to rest against the cushion pinned to the back. My hair tickled my neck, sending a tangling sensation traveling down my spine. An untouched glass of water perched on the edge of the table stood beside me, the ice half-melted under the heat of the sun. The rest of it bobbed slowly on the surface of the liquid, sparkling like crystals.

The month passed by quickly, and time sped by like a whirlwind. The flowers in the garden of the palace were in full bloom, dancing with the crisp green leaves and the petite shrubs and trees. I had begun to spend more time in the garden, and Ashton knew that too. He seemed happy by my change, almost relieved to see me out of my room at most times, sprawled across a chair to read under the pure light erupting from the sky. 

Ashton left me to myself a lot of times. He was busy with his desk work the king had set for him and with spending time with the other princesses. He had told me they needed attention too, and that he couldn't be unfair toward them. I understood and put on a neutral expression whenever this happened, but deep down, I felt uneasy whenever I saw him with one of my 'sisters'. Even now, I still did not know the reason why. I had never experienced this kind of silent, emotional suffering before. Brielle told me it was because I was falling for him, but I did not believe her. 

I had always told myself I did not need love from anyone else aside from my family. I had always told myself that love from another was unnecessary and distracted me from my goals. I had always told myself my family came first and that I had no time for love. I had always told myself this because my older sister suffered from love, and I made her a promise that I would not repeat her mistakes. Natasha had told me love was tragic and brutal and could break your heart whenever you are too careless. That barrier I had put up around me to prevent myself from getting hurt by others still stood, but now, I did not know how long it was going to keep standing.

"Leora?" A soft voice called out for me. I snapped out of my trance and jerked my head up in surprise. A few feet off, the figure of a tall boy was making his way over to me, his hands shoved casually in the pockets of his pants. His dark hair swayed around him, with glowing sunlight circling his head like a halo.

It was Ashton.

"Is that you, Ashton?" I squinted through the light. His eyes were glinting like stars, sparkling as he headed over. My eyes slowly adjusted to the brightness and the face of the crown prince appeared before me.

"It is." He sounded casual enough, his head tipped sideways to examine me closely. The suit jacket he wore was unbuttoned and the ends crinkled above his wrists where his hands disappeared beneath the folds of his pants. "Hello, Leora."

"Well, hello to you too, Ashton. Is something the matter?" I asked carefully, watching with my head c****d back as he lowered himself into one of the seats next to me. Ashton paused for a moment, his eyes trained on the glass of water settled on the table. He ran a finger over the rim of the cup, the pad of his thumb tracing over the line.

"Is it wrong for me to visit my favorite princess?" He smirked at me a second later, his lips curled upward and his eyes winking down at me. His words made me feel warm. 

"I see. Dodging a question with another question. Smart move, Ashton." I pointed out, shuffling to closer to him. He grinned childishly at me. He looked so care-free when he smiled.

"Indeed it is smart, Leora. I have been practicing that move for seventeen years of my life." He said proudly, crossing his arms over his chest and hefting his chin upward. I observed him with a beam plastered across my face.

"Is it not rude to show off to others, Your Royal Highness?" I feigned a curtsey where I sat. Ashton twisted his head around suddenly, his body moving toward me. His face was just a mere inch away from my own, his hot breath fanning over my cheeks, which were flaming.

"And have I not told you before to call me by my first name?" He replied. His intoxicating scent slammed into me. I drew out a raspy breath. He was so close. Closer than he ever was before. His eyes flickered downward.

"Y-Yes, Your Highness," I panted "I mean, A-Ashton." He chuckled and my fingers dug into my thigh through the gown. I swallowed nervously. 

We stayed like that for a while, staring deep into each other's eyes, unmoving. It would have seemed romantic to some, but I had no time to think of those things. Ashton was ridiculously handsome for his age, and sometimes I did wonder what it would feel like to kiss him, or even be as near to him as I was right now. It was a distracting and preposterous idea, but at this very moment, it was all I could think about. I tried to shake it away and push it into one of the dark corners of my mind to be sealed away forever, but it was impossible, no matter how hard I tried. Ashton stood out like a candle in a room immersed in shadows.

Ever so slowly, Ashton angled his head downward, his lips parting slightly. His eyes were twinkling stars reflected in pools of crystal-clear water, rippling softly as he gazed down at me. My heart skipped a beat and my ears began ringing as I realized what he was going to do. It was all too much handle. 

I turned away, facing to the side so I did not have to meet his eyes or await for him to finish what he had started. I glimpsed his hand, which had grasped the arm of the chair I sat him, turn a ghastly shade of white as he curled his fingers into a fist. My hand mirrored his, my fingernails digging painfully into the flesh of my palm. 

"I have unfinished business to do," Ashton murmured finally, pulling away. His eyes were dull, and his countenance was stony, devoid of any form of emotion.

Wordlessly he trudged off, not giving me time to reply to his statement. I did feel guilty in a way, turning him down like that. I knew exactly what he was going to do, but somehow, I could not bring myself to face him so easily. I could not bring myself to be taken so simply. I was unbelievable. 

I sat back, running that moment through my head. Maybe it had been for the better that I rejected him, but the thought of wanting to feel his lips on mine was so bothersome and it confused me immensely. I did not know how long I was able to hold out for. It was as if Ashton was chipping away at the wall I had spent years to build up, penetrating through it.

I squirmed in my seat and switched to a more comfortable position. My cheek pressed against the backing of the chair and my eyes peered through the sunlight streaking endlessly toward me. A woman in a waterfall-like gown weaved with ribbons of silk approached, her hands clasped together in front of her in a elegant fashion. She moved with airy grace, almost gliding across the floor of the garden path. I did not know if I was dreaming or not.

"There you are, Leora." A voice pierced through the silence echoing around me. I recognized the voice. "I have been searching for you everywhere."

"Brielle..." I trailed on, raising myself into a full sitting position. Brielle came nearer, her long hair swaying about her like the wiry branches of a willow tree.

"Oh, dear. Is everything alright, Leora?" Brielle hurried over, outstretching her arms to help me up. Did I really seem that weak? Was I really that shaken up from the encounter with Ashton?

"Everything is completely fine. Why do you ask?" I inhaled, breathing in the smell of fresh flowers and evergreen.

"You just look so pale all of a sudden," she answered, examining my face through narrowed eyes. One of her fingers traced along my forehead as if she was trying to find something. I pulled her hand away.

"I am fine. There is no need to worry." I sighed, forcing a laugh. Brielle didn't seem convinced, her eyes full of skepticism. "It is probably just too much sunlight. Anyways, what bring you here?"

Brielle hesitated for a moment. "Oh, I was just wondering how you and His Highness were doing currently. It is a mystery, you and His Highness..." Brielle continued, but I wasn't paying any attention to her. Instead, my eyes were trained on the two people walking hand in hand through the Blossom Maze in the center of the garden. 

One of them was clothed in a scarlet gown and her wavy hair had been pinned up into a high bun that stretched as high as the forehead of the boy beside her, but it wasn't the girl I was interested in. It was the boy. He was unmistakably Ashton. He wore the same tender expression he had on whenever he was around me and his unquestionably bright eyes glittered dazzlingly. They seemed delighted with one another's presence at their side. Something in my chest twisted and I suddenly could not breathe. 

So this was the unfinished business he had to take care of. Spending time with one of my 'sisters'. It almost disgusted me, but pain was the first feeling that washed over me. It was like a fire was blazing, engulfing my heart in scorching flames.

"Leora?" Brielle waved a hand before my eyes, but I paid her no heed. "Leora! Something definitely is the matter.

I blinked, my eyes flickering to Brielle. She looked panicked, her face draining of color. I did not want her to worry on behalf. It was my problem, but I had no idea what the reason for all my pain was. Why was I hurt? Why did it feel like my heart had been yanked out of my chest and shattered into pieces?

"Why does what hurt?" Brielle jogged my elbow. I had not realized I had spoken out my thoughts to her. I bit down on my bottom lip.

"My chest. Brielle. I do not know why, but my chest really hurts!" I jabbed a finger at where my heart was located. "Is something wrong with me?"

Brielle's eyes widened visibly, shocked by my sudden outburst. She laid a hand atop my shoulder and tried to calm me. I was frightened. What was happening to me? Why was I in so much pain?

"I was wondering when this might happen," Brielle muttered beneath her breath, shaking her head. I c****d my head to the side, clearly puzzled. 

"When what might happen, Brielle?" I grasped her shoulder, urging her to continue. There was definitely something wrong with me. I had never experienced so much emotional pain before.

"Let me ask you something, Leora." Brielle turned so she faced me completely. I nodded in obedience. "Do you love the prince?" 

I tugged myself away from her, taken-aback by her question. At this very moment, it seemed like an undeniably absurd idea to even think about it, let alone bring up. In love with the prince! Even if I was somehow madly in love with Ashton, I would go at great lengths just so no one would find out. Brielle gazed at me expectantly, awaiting my answer.

"O-Of course not," I stuttered, shuffling further away from her. I knew I had said the right thing, but deep down in the bottom of my heart, I also knew that I was terribly wrong. Brielle's eyes narrowed as if she noticed something suspicious.

"You had never once lied before, Leora, but why now?" Brielle nudged me and I flinched involuntarily.

Love was not part of the plan. I just wanted to go home and be with my family forever, but Brielle's words constantly rang in my head, forcing me to think about the options I had and the choices I could make. My hand flew to my chest.

"I..." I whispered, avoiding Brielle's steady glare. She seemed desperate to know the answer to her question.

"You are jealous of Aurorae, are you not?" Brielle blurted, causing me to whip my head up in astonishment. I did not know what jealousy felt like. I did not know why jealousy existed. Jealousy drove people crazy with hunger for what they desired and consumed their hearts with greed. I dipped my head downward, downcast.

"So this is what jealousy feels like," I murmured gently to myself.

"Yes, Leora. It is jealousy," Brielle responded in a soft voice. "The pain you feel when you see the one you love with someone else." 

I blinked ash my fingers which were knotted together in my lap between my legs, the soft material of my dress wrapped around my hands.

The one I love?

Could it be Ashton?

 ~*~

~ a s h t o n

May 2nd, 2020, 11:41 pm

My dearest Leora, 

I am not mad. I am just slightly upset by your reaction. I saw you looking so downcast when you were sitting with your sister, and I could not help but wonder why. I was desperate to know, but the truth is, I blamed you for the outcome and I hated myself for that. It was not your fault and yet I still kept telling myself you made our relationship into this terrible mess.

My head is now dizzy from all of the questions I want so badly to ask you. Do you love me, Leora? Do you feel the same? Do you realize what I feel for you is far deeper than you imagine?

To be honest with you, Leora, when I stood next to your sister in the garden, I pictured you beside me instead, your face blooming with a smile so bright it could even outshine the sun itself, but it was pointless. What use is there in a future where I cannot even have you by my side?

Yours truly,

Ashton