UNMENDED

Rei

I raise my head, an evident frown on my face as I notice the teacher scribbling down some more jargon. I turned my gaze staring out the window, waves of disappointment flooded my mind at the longevity of the class still going on. This was far from what I needed; fresh air, some wind was all I craved in opposition to the hellish last period called physics I was stuck in. Not only did it suck, it also smelled… hell everyone smelled like funky crap, I looked at the board a familiar equation. I didn't want to write down. I just needed to get a B so I could move out of this hellish A class. It reeked so badly. All I wanted was to be far away from him, I thought in my mind as I stared at the only person in the room besides me who didn't smell like sweat and balls. It was normal for everyone to be sweaty in this class since it was the period after the break. As corny as the teacher looked, he insisted on the 'A' class taking extra periods after the break, since we were smarter and didn't need much coaching. 'What a f*****g joke', all the more reason I needed to leave this place. If I had to look at that i***t's back for another 5 mins, I might just go insane, much less the whole school year. Bad enough that I'm separated from my friends and my boyfriend, having to sit in a class across him is the hell I didn't pay for. I furrowed my brows feeling sour before resting my head on the table. I curse my damn good grades at my previous school at Cresdor.

I can still remember the crisp flames gagging up my chest when mom suggested we move back to Haldi, because her new husband lived and worked there. Although she seemed more excited that my therapy sessions had improved, she wanted to test the doctor's suggestions that we move back to the town where the trauma originated. I didn't care what the doctor had said. I only wished I didn't have to see this place ever again. The whole city reeks of bad vibes. All that crap about facing fears was the last thing on my mind.

Six months in now and I hate to admit it but the doctor, apparently, was right. I... was getting better; no more hyperventilating episodes or chronic nausea. Surprisingly, I was free from PTSD, the realization that I had overcome the fear was liberating… even though it was, why did I feel so sad? Why did my heart ache whenever I saw him? Those little momentary flashbacks that made me feel like I was getting worse all over again, those were the turning points that made me want to erase him completely from my memory. Completely from my sight. The crazy thing was the fact I could now remember it all fully, how the air was cold, how helpless I felt, all those years of therapy sessions, of finally finding myself, blocking my emotions had felt like nothing… the moment I saw him, my vision blurred. It was worse than hell. I'd never imagined wanting that hell in comparison to dealing with the poisonous memories of my tragic past. Knowing now that any further relations with Milo as much as being in the same classroom with him will only bring me pain and exhaustion, I deviated to the one thing I knew… avoiding him. It was the temporary solution; it was the only way I could survive this place.

ʚɞ

The bell rang indicating the end of the last period. I quickly stood up, grabbed my bag and exited the class before the teacher even rounded up. Surely, he had no right to call me back, class was over. I ran as quickly as I could to 'B' class where my boyfriend and his friends were posted as fairly good students and athletes. Spreading my arms wide and pursing my lips, I hugged and pecked Jake. He'd said he would be waiting for me to finish my class, and I was more than thrilled he actually did just like a "good boy," I said out loud as I proceeded to kiss his lips and make out with him like no one else was in the room. "Ew" I stopped to look over the corner where the familiar sound came from, I shrugged smiling at Perth who was playing cards with Lana. His other friends, Henry and Cal, had been balled up in a corner sharing a smoke. "It was only a 30 minute class, aren't you like a genius?" Straightening my back, I faced Perth one hand on my hip. "Well I missed my boyfriend so much and… um…. Oh... you guys too." I mimicked throwing my hair back in a glamorous display of femboy. Perth scoffed "Yeah, right, it must be a hell of a 30-minute separation from your beloved prince." I rolled my eyes jokingly before following Jake, who had now hurled both our bags ready to leave for home.

On the ride home, Jake seemed awfully quiet, not that he wasn't on a daily basis, it was just different. Compiled with a serious frown on his forehead. "What's wrong, are you okay?" he shrugged, taking a slight glance from the road. His faced relaxed in a mask that wore off immediately. "Nothing's wrong, I'm fine" He said, finishing off with a short smile and continuing the long quiet drive. Obviously he wasn't. He'd been acting nervous for weeks. Could it be surgery? Or the fact that his mom will be visiting in a few months? Hell, I was nervous too. I just don't like seeing him this anxious. It puts me on edge. I know firsthand how hard it is to gargle all sorts of emotions on your own. Stealing one last glance in his direction, I grabbed his free hand beside me, interlocking our hands and turning away, feeling his gaze on my side. The subtle squeeze on my hand made me know he appreciated the gesture.

Less than a minute later we were now in Jake's apartment. He lived alone as his dad wanted, so he could concentrate on his studies and sports practice. I had envied his freedom away from home and the much-needed privacy, but quickly understood it was a lonely, unfortunate mess. Especially since he asked me to move in with him.

Our moms pretty much knew about our relationship, although Jake's dad either didn't know or just didn't care. I'm pretty sure he would only show great contempt if it affected his studies. My mom had found out when Jake had visited me once, and she didn't have a problem with it, only the usual pep talks about protection. Jake did say he had shared his s****l status with his mom before, and she was more than happy to oblige. Jakes describes his mom as happy, cheerful and the life of the party. She had an open relationship with her dad because she was also interested in women. Surprisingly, his dad had agreed if it was only that, the idea that his mom would oppose his sexuality was the least of his worries, only that she did have an issue of perfectionism and would obsess over choosing or building his lifestyle and partners to suit her taste. Overtime with the distance between them because of her busy schedule as an actress, he barely saw her and simply didn't care about her habits. All he looked forward to was spending more time with her, knowing it would always be brief. Jake's mom had called last week that she was going to be visiting him since she had an after-party in the city. This had to be what? 3 years? … if I'm correct, it had been three years since Jake had seen his mom right before senior high. I wouldn't blame him for being nervous. I knew the feeling all too well. Being away from my mom during her divorce case for almost a year has been hell. The anxiety that comes with wondering if you're ever going to be loved the same way is overwhelming. Even though I had been scared, somehow reuniting with her, none of that ever mattered anymore. I put my sunglasses on the table, taking out my uniform, staring into the mirror. I was in no place to advise him. Hell I was scared too… would she like me?

"Dinner is ready!" kicking me out of my thoughts, I looked at the door to see Jake's head peaking through the door smiling. I nodded, put on a new shirt and followed him. At the dining table, I watched Jake carefully, a little grin on his face. "Good news?" He looked at me smiling a little "kinda". I frowned at his choice of words. "What?" "Tell me?" He scoops a spoonful of soup into his mouth and pauses to swallow before answering me. "The test results are out, it's not a dislocation, I just need to get appendix surgery." I sigh with relief but also frown, worried about the surgery. It's a good thing it wasn't an athletic injury; he was worried it would affect his ability to play basketball. He had always been extra careful. Although this was out of his control it would be better as opposed to healing an athletic injury for 1–2 years with no guarantee. "Don't look so glim, it's just a minor surgery and will take 2–3 months to heal, ill be fine." I smile "I'm gladder you'll take it out soon, it must be a real pain" he eats more before spiting out "the surgery is tomorrow evening" shocked I drop my spoon, "what?" "They moved it up?" … "No, I did" I looked at him confused expression on my face… "I want it out before Sunday," he replied before continuing eating. I stared at him no words: "Eat your food, it's because I don't want her to see me in pain." I did as he said, understanding his reasons. "I'll go with you" he chuckled. "Of course, what would I do without you?".

We finish our meal in silence; Jake helps me clear the table and I wash up the plates while he goes to prepare for bed. Once I'm done, I also take a shower and go to bed. Jake is already half asleep as I cuddle in and quickly drift to sleep too.