Reclaiming Her Heart

Chapter 41 - Lines Crossed

Adam

Caden's question was like a punch to the gut.

"Yellow!" Jadea called out.

Caden paused, assessing.

"Adam," she breathed in answer to a silent question.

Damn it! I berated myself. My emotions got the better of me, and here she was, yet again, taking care of me. As it had been years ago in a familiar, yet different, situation.

Caden's mind brushed mine curiously through the bond I shared with Jadea. "We will pause," he stated, releasing the tension on the rope so Jadea could stand on her own, her arms still suspended above her. He put the music on repeat. "You will stay here, remain quiet, and think about your answer while I speak with Adam."

"Yes sir."

"Adam," Caden called, nodding to the steps leading off the porch. We stopped several yards away. The porch still in view, where we could easily see Jadea.

"Forgive me, I did not warn you how this may go. While I didn't know the specific questions I was going to ask, I knew they would be dark." Just like I tended to do, he followed the pathways in her mind, catching onto the little nuances she liked to try and hide.

"It's okay," I assured him. "I was taken by surprise."

"Why?"

I hesitated. It was very personal. Only a handful of people knew my story. However, I knew I needed to be open with Caden. We all needed to trust in one another, and this was bound to happen. Instead of telling him, I opened my mind and showed him the lows I had fallen to when I was a mortal and caught in an abusive, loveless marriage with my ex. I showed him the only time I attempted suicide, and how Leila would have reacted had she learned about it.

"I see," he mused, those dark brown eyes of his latching onto mine. Compassion and understanding shining within their depths. "What else?"

My brows furrowed. I shouldn't have been surprised by his question. "I feel guilty for being a burden, for disrupting the scene."

"Safe words aren't just for the subs, Adam. Doms get overwhelmed too, and have every right to stop or pause a scene. Do not be ashamed. I didn't catch onto it because it had been so slight of an inconsistency." His assurance sounded like a compliment. "Take it for what it is, Adam. Your bond with her is still so strong and soul defying, even with things as they are."

His reassurance of our bond strangely assuaged some doubts I hadn't been aware of.

"Will you be okay to continue this scene with us?"

I nodded.

"Then let's get back at it."

***

Jadea

"Why didn't you kill yourself?"

The question hung aggravatingly in my mind, bouncing around. Doing so much damage.

Why?

Why didn't I?

Tears fell down my cheeks unbidden.

I wasn't ready to face that answer.

Not yet.

When Adam and Caden came back, I was moved back into my original position, and the scene restarted.

Caden posed the question again. Gave me ample time to answer. And then he struck.

My wolf was coiled within my chest. I could feel her there, and yet I could not fully connect with her. She was waiting... Waiting for the right moment to strike.

We were so broken! So unstable!

I hated this!

The cat hit harder. Faster. Caden knowing I was right there.

And then we snapped.

She ripped through my veins like a hurricane. I could feel us shifting into our primitive form. In this way, we were taller. Our feet found purchase on the ground, and we pulled on the restraints, our agonized, infuriated screams filling the air.

Behind us, Caden paused. Waiting to see what would happen.

In the brief moment when she was connected with me, I fell into my wolf. So happy she was here. I needed to know and understand why she wouldn't willingly connect with me, so I could start repairing the bond.

He did something to us, she explained weakly. When he broke their bonds, he broke ours too.

I could feel her slipping away, and I clung onto her.

Don't leave! I cried out to her. Adam's wolf surged forward as well, desperately trying to hang on, to give her any reason to stay.

Repair it... Until then, we cannot be whole again.

Her cryptic message was too much for me to comprehend.

Once again, I was left alone. She was gone.

I hung exhausted and dejectedly. The ropes around my arms pulling taunt.

Adam and Caden moved quickly to get me down and help me shift back into my human form before carrying me inside. Caden forced me to drink another glass of blood. As Adam carried me further into the house, my vision slowly faded away...

I came to some time later. Disoriented. Sore. Confused.

It took several minutes to remember what happened. And several more to realize I was lying in a bed between Adam and Caden. Hesitantly, I touched their minds, worried about crossing lines.

"We are way past that now," Caden grumbled, pushing himself into a sitting position. "We all have some repairing to do."

I didn't miss his emphasis on all, and winced.

Adam and I also sat up. That way we could see and speak to one another easily.

I moved to sit near the end of the bed, facing them. I dropped my gaze, knowing I had created this mess. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

"That's not going to cut it," Caden bit severely.

I winced. "I know." In my lap, my hands curled into fists, the nails biting into my palms.

Caden heaved a sigh, knowing we weren't going to get far in this standoff. "I'll give you two some privacy. After, come find me," he stated pointedly.

After he closed the door, my gaze flirted with Adam's before falling back to the comforter. My heart was pounding in my chest. The momentary glance I'd spared didn't give me much to go on about how Adam was feeling. His expression was neutral. Our blood bond worn off enough, it was hard to easily brush his mind. And I refused to barge into his thoughts through the oath he'd sworn. It didn't feel right to invade his privacy like that.

I needed to woman up! I berated myself.

"I need to know how you feel, Adam."

A strained silence hung between us. It was long enough, I was sure the gavel was going to come crashing down on my shoulders at any moment. I tensed, waiting. "You hurt me, baby girl." He admitted, his tone holding insurmountable pain. Guilt washed over me, knowing I caused this. I hated myself for it too.

"Did I..." my breath caught, tears clogging my throat. Fear gripping my chest tight. Clearing my throat, I tried again. "Did I do something we cannot come back from?" I feared his answer, but had to know.

"Jadea." He whispered. My name on his tongue sounding so sweet. He spoke it so beautifully, as if I was the only reason he lived and breathed. "Come here, please." He opened his arms, and I was immediately crawling into him. Burying my face in his chest, breathing in his familiar and soothing scent. I melted, knowing I would forever be safe here in his embrace. I just prayed this wasn't the last time. "Drink my blood, baby and see for yourself."

I hadn't expected him to put the ball back in my court.

Nerves got the better of me.

This was hard. The unknown and anticipation clawing at me. Could I do this? Was I strong enough to survive if what I saw wasn't what I hoped for?

Glancing up at him, I found his loving and longing gaze moving over me, as if in awe. His fingers curled through my hair, massaging my scalp. In his embrace I was whole. In his gaze, I saw the woman I knew I could become. With him, there was nothing I couldn't do.

A sigh of contentment escaped me. His stormy blue eyes slowly moving to meet my gaze. Then roved over my lips and back up, as if memorizing me all over again. His warm hand cupped the side of my face, pulling me further into his embrace.

I stayed there for a while, before slowly moving to straddle him. He relaxed back, thinking I was going to simply reinstate the bond. Instead, I lost myself in the depths of his adoring gaze. A slow, burning heat surrounded me. When I reached for him, I hesitated, knowing this moment would forever change me. This wasn't just a simple bond being reinstated. No. This was two souls coming together again.

"Adam," I breathed his name, as if it were my lifeline. My hands delved into his soft, red hair right as my lips smashed into his. I devoured him, knowing there was no other who could ever make me feel this way. He had shown me he would walk alongside me through the trenches of our lives. When I thought all hope was lost, when I believed I pushed him too far, he had come back. He wasn't going anywhere.

Tonight had proven that.

His moan reverberated through me, igniting an inferno deep within my body. Hands clutched my waist, fingers digging into flesh, as if desperately trying to burrow himself deeper into me.

When I broke the kiss to run my lips down his neck, he moaned my name. Knowing I was making him come apart at the seams sent a wicked thrill through me. With one last lingering lick over the vein in his neck, I gently sank my teeth into his skin. The euphoria that rushed through him, and myself, had me contemplating life.

As I took several long swallows of his sweet, addicting blood, I saw why my self-harming ways hit so hard for him. I saw his story, felt it as my own. Licking the wound on his neck closed, I pulled back so I could stare down into his gaze. My hands framing his face, my heart breaking in ways I never knew were possible.

Today, it wasn't his past demons that came out to play. With all of his own experiences, he'd been at a loss about how to help me.

New fears gripped him as every 'what if' played out in his mind's eye. What if I'd cut too deeply? What if he didn't know in time? What if he tried helping me, but every effort didn't work?

The possibility of losing me again, while I was under his care nonetheless, was a new fear that had been unlocked.

The guilt crashed through me, and I knew I had to do better!

I hated how I'd hurt him.

"Can you ever forgive me?"