Reclaiming Her Heart

Chapter 17 - Coming Home

Song Inspo: "Let Down (Cover)" by Mack Loren

Jadea

I sat there in my tumultuous mind as the silence stretched between us.

How had they found me? I forced Ty to silence.

Unless they had been staying on the Knight property. Had Garret caught onto my thoughts last night? Had he felt me? Or, could he have caught onto Ty's personal thoughts after I left?

I guess it didn't really matter now.

They were here.

They had come. Which was a good thing, right?

My gaze moved up to them. I saw Garret and Blade flanking Adam. Then Briar and Derrick. And... another light brown wolf I did not recognize. He was partially turned so he could see the treeline behind everyone. He was watching for danger, protecting their backs as they engaged with me.

Turning my gaze back to Adam's intense blue gaze, I couldn't get a good read on him. His gaze was guarded, his stance tense.

How would he take it if I asked to re-initiate my bond, and alpha-hood, with my pack? How was I supposed to ask him, a virtual stranger, such a deeply personal and sacred thing? I wasn't sure how we led our pack before I disappeared. I wasn't sure if there was one clear alpha, or if we co-existed, where the leadership role went back and forth.

Adam had clearly taken over the alpha role in my absence. Did they prefer his leadership to mine? Would they rather stay loyal only to him? If I did re-instate the bonds, would he cede his power and leadership role to me, or would he try to stay on as co-alphas? Would we be able to work together peacefully? I wasn't entirely certain I would be able to do that, especially since I didn't remember anything about him, about our relationship and how we worked together.

What if my pack refused to re-instate their bonds? What if they came to hammer the final nail in my coffin? I wasn't sure I would be able to survive their rejection if given.

I had been so lost in my own mind and thoughts, I didn't notice Garret until he was pulling me into his embrace. He had shifted and pulled on a pair of shorts from the basket of clothes sitting on the porch. I instantly relaxed into his familiar embrace and knew everything would be okay.

My chest cracked, and I felt everything come spilling out. I whined, my breathing ragged. Tears wet my fur. I burrowed my face in his shoulder and breathed him in.

I felt his tumultuous emotions clash with mine and heard the emotion in his voice when he spoke gently, his hands stroking down my head and back in soothing motions. "We were so scared when we thought you were gone forever. Our anchor, our home had been ripped right out from under us so abruptly and violently. We felt so empty without you," he breathed against my ear. "Adam... He did a good job of keeping everyone grounded afterward. You definitely picked a good one, Jay. Even if he is trouble with a capital T," he chuckled as an aside, as if there was an inside joke.

When Garret pulled away, my heart constricted, and I feared the gavel was about to come down heavy on my shoulders. I wasn't sure where Garret was going with this, and I prayed I was strong enough to take whatever came out of his mouth next with grace.

My gaze moved over my beta. His black hair unkempt, his jawline gruff with a short beard, the look in his dark eyes raw. "As fun as this experience has been, I am ready to come back home... To you. That is what you are to all of us. Home. You built this family brick by brick. You poured your blood, sweat and tears into all of us. You never gave up on us. And we will be damned if we give up on you," he stated fiercely, his hold on me shifting. The way he held my face in his palms, it felt as if he were afraid I would break or disappear.

Garret and I had a different kind of bond. He was the first wolf to say the oath, to make us an official pack. He was, and had always been, my beta. I trusted him more than I did myself on most days. He never let me down, never lied. He was like a brother. And I was so utterly happy he wasn't kicking me to the curb. My tail wagged tentatively, and I nudged his face, leaning into him as he took me back into a fierce hug.

I felt the others surrounding us. Briar, Blade and Derrick all laying hands on me as I pulled away from Garret. I shifted, unable to stay in this form where I couldn't embrace them. I flung myself into their arms, hugging them, crying with them. Showing just how much we missed each other, and how much this separation had affected us.

"I want to come home too," I declared gently, my gaze seeking each one of them out. My hands tracing cheeks, crossing chests. I couldn't wait any longer. I needed them to be bound to me. I had been empty these last several months because my closest and most sacred bonds with my pack had been broken. This was the first step I had to take in order to heal. To become whole. "But, I have changed," I warned them gently, knowing I couldn't go into this without first telling them what they would be getting into. "I will not be the same Jadea you knew and loved before. I have been ..." Broken. The unsaid word hung in the air between us.

Taking both my hands, Garret pulled me into him, our hands held between us as he pressed his forehead into mine. It was an intimate gesture. One of friendship. Of love. Of adoration. We closed our eyes and breathed in the same air. I felt the overbearing emotions take hold of him as he responded strongly, "You are our Jadea. We have grown with you. We have all shed different versions of ourselves. We have grown together. And we have all learned to love and embrace each and every version of ourselves, no matter how hard it was. This will be no different. You are our alpha. You are our home. It doesn't matter where you have gone, or how long you have been away. It doesn't matter how long it takes you to find yourself again. You are still just Jadea. Lucien's daughter. The one who survived Dante's cavern. A badass who wanted to make a difference in this world and has chased down every one of our dreams. You are still her, and so much more," he breathed, both of us sobbing messes at the end of his speech.

With his voice still a little unsteady, he led the proceedings. They all pledged themselves to me, reinstating their bonds. It felt glorious as their souls melded with mine. And as each one re-connected with me, I opened up my mind and welcomed them like old friends would. With warmth. With tenderness and with love.

I took my time, reveling in their presence, allowing us all the healing space we needed to soak in each other, knowing time meant nothing here.