Reclaiming Her Heart

Chapter 76 - Braiding

Jadea

I slept in the next morning, waking up to Caden and a tray full of breakfast goodness.

"Thank you, for last night," I breathed softly, shyly. My gaze not quite able to meet his. I was still feeling rather vulnerable.

He placed a gentle kiss against my temple, whispering, "Always, kitten."

"Today, I would like to take some time to meditate." I wanted time with my wolf, and meditation was one of the easiest ways to connect with her, other than shifting and going on a hunt. The latter wasn't something I could do until this mess with Keb was over, though.

"I figured as much," Caden smiled, his gaze never wavering from me. Those intense chocolate eyes burning me into his memory. I shifted under his soft scrutinizing gaze. While we were close, and had been intimate before, this look ... It felt different. Reaching out, his fingertips trailed along my face and jawline. "You're growing your hair out," he noted, playing with the strands that now hung past my shoulders.

Nodding, I took another bite of breakfast. I was trying to finish up my tasks for the day. But, he was being rather distracting.

"It looks good on you. Could I braid your hair?"

After a moment of deliberation, I slowly nodded again. Scooting forward on the bed, so he could sit behind me, a nervous anticipation built within my gut. I couldn't remember a time my hair was long enough to braid.

When his fingers delved into my hair, a soft hum of approval reverberated from my chest.

Growing up, I'd always been a tom-boy. Hanging with the boys. I hadn't been one for the softer things. For hanging out with other girls: doing sleepovers, hair, nails.

This was new.

Gently, he parted my hair in two and started a dutch braid.

"Where did you learn to do this?" I asked him gently, continuing to pick at my food.

He contemplated his answer before saying, "You know of my father's history. How many girls he sired. I had a plethora of sisters growing up, even if they weren't around for long. One of his many mates showed me how to braid, because I asked where I could help. It was a small thing." He murmured softly, finishing up one side before starting on the other. "But they always acted as if it was a big thing, me being able to do this. And doing it willingly."

"You were a good brother."

By his heavy sigh, I knew he didn't believe it. "I tried. There were many times I failed them."

"Why do you say that?"

He swallowed hard, breathing hitched. He was fighting tears. "I couldn't save them. Couldn't stop my father from hurting them, or from selling them into even worse situations than they already were in."

"You were just a child," I breathed, my hand instinctively reaching back to rest on his thigh. When he finished the second braid, I spun around in his lap, straddling him so I could stare deeply into his glistening eyes.

"I could have done something more than standing idly by," he snapped, face dropping, eyes closing.

Gently, I stroked his face, wiping away the tears. Running my fingers through his unkempt hair, I massaged his scalp and down the back of his neck. His shoulders relaxed under my ministrations. "You were a victim of your father too," I stated firmly, holding his face so tenderly between my hands, as if he could break if I held too tight. Tilting his head back, so our eyes could meet again, I continued, "You being kind and available and doing what you could for them was a greater gift than if you had done something rash. We both know your father, if you had found some way to save even some of them, wouldn't have allowed you to continue helping them. He would have taken your punishment to its extreme. And who knows what that would have looked like."

He dropped his gaze, knowing I was right.

With gentle strokes of my thumbs against his cheeks, a sudden thought popped into my mind. "That's not it, though, is it?"

He shook his head.

"Tell me."

"I couldn't stop it from happening to you," he whispered brokenly. "The type of abuse Silas put you through. Hans's abuse was different. More cookie cutter. You knew what to expect because it was more physical. Now, don't take that as me saying it was any easier to carry," he stated seriously, those chocolate eyes melting into mine. "The emotional warfare my father waged was far different. He was conniving. And, I can see the similarities in Silas's abuse. It... Pains me—and angers me—knowing you have suffered through such horrors. It was something I couldn't protect you from."

That he couldn't protect them from.

It hit differently this time because he was older. He wasn't a small, helpless child anymore. "You aren't responsible for our pain or suffering. You did not cause any of this."

"I know," he murmured, leaning his head back against the headboard, eyes closing against the onslaught of tears and emotions coursing through him.

"I will be okay," I stated, wholly believing it, reaching out to trace my hands down his bare chest in a gentle caress.

"Yes, you will be," he agreed, eyes peeking open.

"And you will be too." His nod was his only response. It would take time for him to accept everything. "What else?" I pressed, feeling his gaze darken with a question.

"How do you feel about having multiple mates? A harem of sorts?" he asked gently, hopefully.

"To be honest, it wasn't something I ever thought about. Until recently."

He nodded, gaze dropping away. His fingers moving across my skin in a nervous tick. "And?"

"I am not willing to make more than one mate's bond," I stated firmly. His shoulders drooped. "However, I am not opposed to having multiple partners who share a deeper relationship with me, or creating lasting blood bonds." I could feel the disappointment swirling through him, even with the knowledge we could still have a very deep and loving bond. "I know it isn't what you wanted to hear."

"I understand, kitten. I'm thankful and beyond indebted to you and your mate for allowing the bonds and intimacy you have." So many true mated pairs never allowed other bonds to be made. "Why don't you say your affirmations, kitten?" Caden shifted the conversation. I allowed him to, knowing he needed some time to process and accept this boundary.