Reclaiming Her Heart

Chapter 27 - Upset

Jadea

I woke with a start.

Silas's haunting cries from that terrible night chasing me into consciousness.

I was instantly in motion.

There was no way I would be able to stay within the confines of this room, or house, right now.

My heart was pounding so hard, I could feel it reverberating through my chest. I heard the pounding in my ears.

I was confused.

I was terrified!

The instant I set foot on the porch, I shifted into my wolf and ran.

I took to the perimeter and sprinted. Running. Running away from that nightmare. Running away from the conclusions my mind was drawing. I wasn't ready to face those conclusions, because it meant compassion for Silas and what he had done.

Tears wet my fur.

I didn't want to think about those conclusions.

And so, I numbed myself to it all. I pushed it back. I didn't have to focus on any of that right now.

In that very instant, I focused on my paws hitting the cold, packed snow of the perimeter. Of feeling the biting cold of the winter on my face. Of being surrounded by the quiet, serene wilderness.

I was safe here, I told myself.

I ran until my feet were raw. And continued running until dawn lit the sky.

Only then did I limp my way back towards the cabin so I could start my tasks.

When I reached the clearing, I saw Adam waiting for me on the porch. He was dressed only in his cotton sleep pants, his chiseled chest on display.

"Jadea," he called my name, and I knew, based on his tone alone, I had broken one of my hard rules. I hadn't rested for the three-hour minimum. I hadn't even thought to check before I went running.

A pack is only as strong and disciplined as it's alpha, Lucien's words echoed within the confines of my mind. I felt like a failure.

Adam sighed, a constant shadow within my mind. As much as I wanted to be annoyed, this made communicating much easier. He could see and feel everything. No words or time had to be wasted on explaining what I was going through. "Shift and come here," he commanded softly, the lavender dress clutched in one of his hands. I did, walking up to stand in front of him. My gaze refused to meet his as he pulled the dress over my head, picked me up and carried me inside.

***

He set me down gently on the kitchen island, handed me a cup of blood and started to examine my hands and feet. They were sore and raw with some shallow scrapes. They would all heal up within a few hours if I didn't aggravate them more. He cleaned them all with a soft towel.

"You are to stay inside, and off your feet for the rest of the day," he ordered, his voice even.

As much as I didn't like it, I had not held to my end of the bargain. I went running the perimeter before completing all my tasks: three hours minimum of rest, nourishment and affirmations before I ever set foot outside to run.

I nodded, acknowledging this, knowing I would also face my agreed-upon punishment later today.

Adam picked me up and carried me into the living room. He set me down on the couch facing the very large window. He pulled the curtains so I could see outside. The living room was to the right of the porch and faced the spacious clearing. The sun was out today, turning the snowy landscape into a bright and beautiful space. It was serene and calm. My gaze moved down to the floor just in front of the window where the large pillows lay invitingly.

Tears clogged my throat and threatened to fall as I remembered my pack's reunion.

I missed them.

"You can reach out to them," Adam gently reminded in the turmoil of my mind.

My hands scrubbed the tears from my eyes, hating my mind was not my own right now.

I wasn't used to this, used to someone being connected to me like this. I never had this deep of a bond before. While it did have its perks, there were times I just wished for my thoughts to be my own.

To what Adam said... I honestly forgot. My pack's bonds had been broken for months. It would take time before I instinctively remembered we were all connected again.

Forcing myself to calm down, I reached out to Garret first. They were training with Ty's pack, keeping their abilities and minds sharp.

Garret responded by reaching out and mentally hugging me. It helped ease some of the brokenness within.

"We are here for you, Jay," he responded, his mind reaching out to the others, to connect them with me. I felt them all blossom in my mind, each one greeting me in the same way Garret had. I could feel their love and support filling me. "How are you?" he asked tentatively.

"Hurting." I couldn't lie. "Lost. But, Adam's methods are working." I remembered some of my memories. Even if they weren't from the time I wanted.

"That's good," Briar stated cheerfully.

"How are you all?" I asked, needing a distraction from my darkness.

They knew this and jumped into recounting their day. They'd woken up Aidan and Anika early to roast marshmallows, star gaze and watch the sun rise. They were being typical aunts and uncles, spoiling them while Adam and I were away. It warmed my heart to see just how deeply they loved those two kiddos.

Then, there were the antics... Garret and Blade helped the children set up a snowy trap for Ty's beta, Dean, as he came out to do chores. They'd tied ropes to a few tree branches laden with snow and pulled on them right as the beta walked underneath. Several feet of snow landed right on top of Dean, burying him. They'd all had a good laugh, the kids running and jumping into the pile of snow, on top of the beta.

Then, it was off to their own tasks before breakfast. Then training.

"We were all fighting over who is going to visit you first," Blade stated.

That's right, tomorrow was going to be the first day when Adam switched with one of them so he could have some time with the children.

"Who's winning?" I smirked, unable to help myself.

"Who do you think?" Blade snapped back.

"It's got to be Chance," I said offhandedly. "I mean, he's the security detail. He knows all of our tips and tricks."

I felt Blade's and Garret's offense at my declaration. Though, I felt my brother's amusement, and pride at being named.

Garret and Blade sputtered back and forth for a few moments as the others laughed, knowing my game.

"You're totally paying for that!" Garret declared, good-naturedly.

"Mmm hmm," I replied, sounding dubious. "Well, good luck to you all. I look forward to seeing the victor tomorrow." I needed to let them go so they could focus on their training. It wasn't fair of me to disrupt their day and routine too much.

As I refocused on what was right in front of me, I saw Adam setting down a beautiful glass chess set on the coffee table. He then pulled up a chair opposite me and nodded to the board game. Silently, I uncurled myself and moved one of the pawns. We played one full game, enjoying the banter we shared. After re-setting, Adam shifted our conversation. "That was a really dark dream you had last night. Why don't you tell me what conclusions you drew that made you so upset?"