Reclaiming Her Heart

Chapter 51 - Shatter

Song Inspo: "Drown" by Brian Dalton

Jadea

Leading him to the scene room, I ordered Caden to strip and lay down in the middle of the bed. He did complacently, his mind numb from the turmoil.

Yanking my shirt off, I kept my pants on. Laying next to him, I pulled him on top of me, hoping the skin-to-skin contact would help ease him from the brink of the yawning chasm of despair his soul was hovering over. I needed to pull him back from the brink in order for my manipulation spells to be most effective and lasting. His tears wet my skin, his sobs tearing gashes into my chest. It took everything within me to keep it together.

We stayed like this for a long time until he calmed down and was no longer in imminent fear of careening into the darkness. During this time, I made sure the barriers separating Adam and Caden within my mind were structurally sound. While Adam was privy to everything going on, Caden wasn't. He needed structure. Calm. A sense of safety and privacy.

Adam took to the perimeter shortly after I took Caden into the room, needing to run off his mixed feelings.

When I felt Caden was ready for the spell, I rolled him under me. Straddling him high on his chest, my hands splayed over his solid pecs, I stared down at him with compassion. Those deep pools of chocolate brown void of emotion. I hated seeing him like this.

Stroking his full bottom lip with my thumb, I started the mental assault of his mind.

Leaning over, my mouth closed over his in a fiercely passionate kiss, knowing he needed and craved such intimacy. It took him by surprise, allowing me even deeper into his mind until I was nearly at the root of the memory. "You will forget her," I commanded, my magic curling through his memories. Like spilled ink on parchment, my spell bled into his mind. Spreading inky darkness across those soul crippling memories. In its wake, I spoke a different memory into existence, one that hadn't happened yet. Something I was intending on making memorable and solid. Something that would hopefully cancel out the debilitating remnants of the newly forgotten memories.

"Close your eyes, and keep them closed," I commanded on a whispered breath, caressing his mind. When he did, I latched one hand around his neck, nails biting into skin. His lips popped open, back arching as the assault on his mind intensified, pleasure coursing through his veins overtaking the deep-rooted misery. Within the confines of my imagination, I played out a very vivid, erotic scene with Caden. With the help of my powers, it felt real. Soul defying. Heart rendering.

Deep.

I stayed in power. Played his body exactly how he wanted it. Mind f****d him until he was verbally begging for release.

His hands splayed across my ribs and waist, clinging to me like I was his lifeline.

I rode on the wings of this power trip. remembering just how addictive and satisfying this euphoria was in the moment.

He was drowning in me, losing himself to all inhibitions. At the same time, I was re-centering him. Pulling him out of the void he'd lost himself to. Carefully restructuring his mind, his very history. Replacing the pain of reality with a beautiful dream.

When I finished my work, I gave the command he so desperately craved. "c*m for me, my little fox."

And as he shattered, I felt my chest fracture with the knowledge I had to carry and the weight of what was done.

Chasing Caden on the sub-drop, I pushed him into a deep slumber, needing a few moments to myself before I could complete aftercare with him.

Without hesitation, I bounded out of the room, yanking my shirt over my head. Crashing out of the door, I sprinted for the next meadow over, my bare feet barely registering the cold snow. I felt the storm raging within my chest, needing an outlet.

I just needed to get a little further away. I didn't want to accidentally wake Caden with my outburst.

The moment I careened into the clearing, I fell onto my hands and knees, a primal scream ripped through my chest. At the same instant, a deep crater carved itself into the snow and earth around me as my raw emotion released from my body. The outburst turning my emotions into uncontrolled power, rage and pain. Another agonizing scream had me doubling over with the realization Caden may never get to have what every immortal craved: a true soul mate, a soul defying connection. And it was all due to selfish immortals who were sick and diabolical.

While my body heaved and shook from the exertion, I felt him.

"Adam," I panted, my gaze lifting to find him watching me from the shadows in his large wolf form. The cinnamon-red fur reflecting the light as he stepped into the sun.

He sat just outside the crater, his curious eyes holding mine, his head turned to the side.

Brushing his mind, I had to know what he was thinking. Had to know if this ordeal created an immediate and devastating problem. I knew he and his wolf were both possessive.

Instead, I felt awe and wonder. Interest even. He wasn't upset. Didn't feel like I crossed a line. There had been very little physical intimacy.

The way in which I used my powers today never crossed his mind. He'd never realized I could plant such a reality into someone else's memories.

"When you were a dominatrix, was this your main way of interacting with your subs?" he asked. Of course he would know my past, I reasoned. It must have come up at some point in our relationship. Though, based on what I could see in his mind, we hadn't ever done a deep dive into it.

I nodded, "Yes. Those who sought me out sought a reprieve from their memories in an unconventional way." Though, none of them had been as significant as this. "It is hard seeing and experiencing what they have suffered. Living with it. And then essentially making them forget it ever happened. All the while, I am left to pick up the pieces within myself. Never being able to discuss or do a deep dive into those moments with them because they won't remember." It was a burden I had to carry on my own. One I did not like.

And maybe that was selfish of me.

"Not selfish at all, baby girl. You know what you can handle. This is not one of them. And you are allowed to protect yourself, your heart and mind. You are selfless helping Caden knowing how greatly this affects you."

His words helped ease some of the pain in my chest.

"May I hug you?" The broken request barely a whisper.

Before I knew it, Adam knelt in front of me, his strong arms pulling me into his chest. Burying my face in his shoulder, I breathed in his warm masculine scent mixed with sweat and the smell of the outdoors. My arms banded around his waist, feeling the rest of the tension and doubts ebb from my body.

"I can relate to him and how he felt," Adam's strong voice stated, one hand stroking down my spine. He understood what Caden was going through based on his own experiences losing me and our connection. "You did a great kindness for him." Kissing my temple, he said gently, "You should get back to him. I'm going to keep running for a while longer. I don't want him to feel rushed by my presence within the cabin."

Nodding, I picked up the pieces of myself and put them back together. With every step I made toward the cabin, my heart and soul grew stronger knowing what I did was a small way to repay him for everything he had done and continued to do for me.

Even deeper still was a blossoming determination to find his mate.

It would take time and determination. And a willingness to move mountains for the ones I cared about most.