Reclaiming Her Heart

Chapter 33 - First Two Months

Adam

My time with my children had been a welcome distraction. It helped ground and distract me from all the heavy things that were weighing on my mind. I was able to disconnect for a while and engulf myself in their simplistic and wonderful world. Where adult problems weren't ever considered.

They asked about Jadea after a while, and wanted to know if she really was alive. I'd answered them as best I could.

Aidan and Anika had been introduced to our world about a year ago, after some other scary things occurred. They knew about werewolves and other immortals. They understood how Jadea could be alive, but they were still young enough not to understand why she didn't remember them. I hadn't sugar-coated anything, needing them to process and come to terms with Jadea's memory loss in case we weren't able to overcome that hurdle before she re-integrated into the pack.

Regardless, they were excited and overjoyed she was alive and well.

With Blade, Briar and Derrick in tow, I went on a little escapade with the kids into the city. I treated them to a picnic at the park, and let them pick out a toy each from the store. There were some things I wanted to grab before I went back to Jadea.

Before I knew it, the time had come and gone. I ate dinner with them before packing my things into the larger doggy backpack and took off north. Jupiter, from Agamemnon's pack, followed me for protection.

As I raced back, my mind brushed Jadea's and Garret's. They were also heading back to the den after visiting, and watching the sunset, at Mystic Lake. From what I could tell, both enjoyed their time together.

And now, it was the next day.

I inspected my handiwork on Jadea as she hung suspended in the middle of the scene room. She was dressed in a pair of soft yoga pants and a sports bra, with ropes intricately tied around her in an ebi-zuri hold. She looked relaxed, peaceful almost.

Yesterday had indeed been good for both of us.

This morning, we discussed our next scene. While she wanted to continue working on the repressed memories from her childhood, I felt it was better to focus on her time with Silas. I was afraid if she didn't face it, and resolve her trauma surrounding the time spent with him, it would block her from being able to access her missing memories. She, reluctantly, agreed.

And so, she told me about the first two months at Silas's. She was very open and forthcoming about her time, so far. Which was good. While she had spoken of actual events over breakfast, it was now time to work on how she felt during that time. She needed to sit in her feelings, to process them and start healing.

"Alright, baby girl, I'm going to start asking questions." Curling a few knuckles under her chin, I tilted her face up, her sultry eyes holding mine. I faltered for a moment, overtaken by her beauty and the urge to kiss her senseless. "If you do not answer within a minute's time, I will repeat myself. If you do not answer again, what will happen?"

"I will be spanked ten times, sir," she obediently replied.

"And if you continue to refuse?"

"You will flog me ten times, sir," she breathed, her eyes closing.

"And if you refuse again?" I growled, my thumb moving over her bottom lip, praying it wouldn't come to this last part.

"You will find the answer yourself, sir," she whispered a bit brokenly. She did not like this term, but she understood it was necessary.

"Good," I praised. Taking a step back, I gathered my thoughts and asked the first question. "What was your most prominent emotion during your first two months?"

"Confusion," she readily supplied.

My hand traced across her shoulders in a soft caress. There was no way I could keep my hands to myself. Aside from our time in the scene room, there had been very little physical touch between us. The lack of connection—in all forms—was slowly driving me mad. "Good. How did you feel when you were told your pack and mate did not want you?"

It took her a few moments to reply to this. "Upset. Sad. Devastated. Though, still confused because I kept connecting with you in my dreams. And your emotions bellied what Silas told me."

So us connecting in the dream world hadn't been just my imagination, I mused to myself. "When you realized you were connecting with me, did you actively try to reach out? Were you trying to figure out what happened? Or were you accepting of the facts Silas gave you?"

I felt her mull over my questions. I gave her a little longer to reply, knowing she was trying to work through it all. She wasn't trying to avoid any of them. "I wasn't trying to actively reach out, afraid Silas was correct and you had rejected me. I was afraid..." Her voice trailed off and she swallowed hard. "I was afraid if I fully connected with you, and you recognized me, you would have found a way to finish the job."

"Meaning?" I wanted her to say it, even though I knew exactly what she meant. And it broke my heart all over again knowing Silas's plan to isolate her worked.

"I was afraid you would hunt me down and kill me because I was still a threat to you," she breathed agonizingly.

"You now know that is not true?" I had to make sure the remnants of doubts were gone.

She nodded. "I do know it is not true now," she affirmed. I felt the truth in her words resonating through our bond.

I rewarded her again with an affirmation and a few soft kisses along her skin. She sighed in contentment.

"How did it make you feel when Silas lashed out at you after you brought to his attention the constant brain fog you were experiencing?"

"It made me feel guilty for bringing it up to him. He took it as me accusing him of foul play." Which only made her more suspicious. "My relationship with him from that point forward was broken. I didn't trust him after that, though I couldn't stop from forming the conclusion he meant well. He had saved me..." At least that's what she'd been told. "He clothed me, fed me, put a roof over my head," she recited. "He took care of me and integrated me into his pack and family. Everyone treated me like I was one of them, which had been confusing. Usually, a prisoner such as myself, wasn't welcomed into the pack in such a fashion. There was usually tension and some kind of whispers about the true intentions for the prisoner. All of that had been lacking."

She had paid close attention to everyone within the pack, taking in all the information and processing it to try and solve the mystery. Her gut told her Silas's intentions weren't true, yet everything his pack--and for the most part, Silas--did with her was genuine. It had thrown her off, made her doubt her gut feelings.

"They included me in everything. In all of their family and pack activities. I did feel like I was truly a part of his family and pack. Which was the most confusing part of all, because why go through all of that trouble and extensive groundwork if I was going to just be a pawn in the grand scheme of things?"

Indeed, that was the question.

Again, I praised her for her honesty and willingness to unpack her feelings surrounding those events.

"When you went on the hunt with Mateo," I started, fighting the urge to ask a different question, "Why didn't you ask Ariat for help?" I didn't understand why she hadn't taken the opportunity then to escape.

"I didn't know I could fully trust him, and I couldn't ensure my escape at that very moment. I didn't know if Silas sent other wolves to babysit us on our adventure and were waiting to attack and re-capture me if I chose to run." She shook her head. "It was too risky. If I jumped the gun and failed, I feel like Silas's hand would have been forced. He wouldn't have trusted me, and it may have forced him to progress to the next steps in their plans without first gaining my trust."

Because that's what Silas had been trying to build: mutual trust between them.