Reclaiming Her Heart

Chapter 71 - Spiraling

Adam

"So ..." Ty started, joining me on the porch that night after the kids went down. Leaning his back against the railing, he looked at me. "What happened?"

"Why do you think something happened?" I snapped standing up straight to face him, then winced, knowing I'd just given myself away.

Ty's bemused side glance and pursed lips said it all.

Sighing heavily, I quipped, "I f****d up. And, no, I don't want to talk about it."

"Figured that much," he mused. Waiting.

"You're not going to leave me alone, are you?"

"Nope," he smirked.

Fine! Maybe he would be able to enlighten me about the mate's pact and why what my wolf did was so bad. So, I related to him what happened. The teasing look in his gaze faded and was replaced by concern and anger. Which did nothing to ease the tension building within my gut.

"Did Jadea ever explain the mate's pact to you?"

"She just said it was a binding promise between a mated pair's wolves."

He grumbled something, pinched the bridge of his nose and muttered, "I'm surprised she never explained in greater detail, though she probably concluded there wouldn't ever be a need for such extremes in your relationship."

"Will you tell me?" I asked hesitantly. Nervously.

"Yes. Come. Sit," he waved to the rocking chairs. After we were settled and each had a beer in hand, he dove straight into the matter. "Back in the dark ages, when females were only seen as property, alphas would use the mate's pact in unhealthy and traumatizing ways in order to keep their mates in line. Most often they used the pact to keep their harems under control, forcing females to be cordial with one another so they wouldn't go killing themselves off." Taking a deep swig from his beer, he continued. "Before they realized they could make a mate's pact, there were often times a mate scorned when an alpha took on new mates. Many times, the new mates would be murdered or go missing shortly after they were brought into the pack. And, oftentimes, those new mates were pregnant.

"Not only was the pact used in that way, it was also used to infiltrate other packs. There were times when a mated female would be put up for auction and sold to a rival alpha. Bound to silence and submission by the mate's pact that was forced upon her, she could not say or do anything against it. She would be forced to go through with whatever she was bound to, which could include killing the alpha or provide an opportunity for her true mate to sneak in and kill the alpha. There were endless possibilities. It was a warfare of mind and heart. The female, if she didn't want to be a participant in this kind of killing spree, stood no chance against it.

"Luckily, this reprehensible practice was banned by the High Immortal Council. But, as you well know, there are many lawbreakers who ... Slip through the cracks. While the practice isn't widely used anymore, it is still found. Many healthy relationships use it to hold each other accountable for one thing or another. However, it is done while both parties are available and not done during an emotional or physical act where one can be held under duress. You see, what you did was manipulative coercion. It could be a means for a nullification of the pact, and—if deemed—could be a means to sever your very mate's bond."

Wait, what!?

A terror I'd only felt once before gripped my chest in a vice-like hold. She could take this before the HIC, and use it to sever our bond?

Ice ran through my veins at this prospect.

"Though, I doubt the council would approve such a request since you are true mates," he mused thoughtfully.

I wasn't sure if I felt relieved or not.

Two days ... A lot could happen in two days. And she would have access to Constance and several of her other guard. Many of whom were on the Immortal Councils. Many of whom she'd worked alongside and knew well. Many who would possibly bend the rules if she just asked.

She could be meeting with them right this very moment ...

Suddenly, her presence blossomed within my turbulent thoughts. Caressing my mind, she eased the overbearing turmoil raging within.

"I didn't mean to disturb you," I snapped, unable to keep myself from feeling frustrated and hurt. She'd asked for space, and yet I couldn't keep my overwhelming thoughts and emotions from bleeding into our bond. Why couldn't I do anything right at the moment? It was like I was spiraling out of control.

She sighed heavily, her hurt evident at my harsh tone. "Very well. I will leave—"

"I'm sorry," I instantly said reaching for her, standing up to pace, ripping a hand through my hair. Goodness, I was a mess! "I'm mad at myself." Not with you.

"You have a funny way of showing it," she bit back.

"Jadea. Baby girl, wait—"

But, just like that, she was gone again.

Fuck!

I rammed my fists onto the wooden railing and felt the wood crack and splinter apart. A feral roar ripped from my chest as fear like I'd never known tore through me, tears stinging the corners of my eyes. I wanted to rip and tear everything apart because she was starting to slip right through my fingers. If I wasn't careful, I'd lose her for real this time. And it wouldn't be due to anyone capturing her or killing her. It would be of my own doing.

Staring down at the broken railing, I realized how far I was falling. My gaze flitted to my shaking hands before turning to face Ty. "I-I'm sorry," I stuttered. Damn it! I was such a failure!

"As her brother, I really want to beat you to a bloody pulp for what you did," he murmured, slowly approaching. Reaching out a hand, he gripped my shoulder hard. "But, as your friend, I already know you are doing that well enough on your own. I understand now why she sent you here. You need some time with your wolf. You've got some healing and repairing to do within yourself before you can go back to her."

As much as I hated to admit it, he was right. And Jadea had been right to send me away as well.

"You should also call Dr. Andrew. I doubt you've spoken to him since she's returned?"

I shook my head, "No, I haven't."

Downing the rest of his beer, he told me to follow him. Within the cabin, he led me into a small basement. It reminded me of the one below the hunting cabin in Canada. I knew Ty was preparing a space where I could meditate without distraction. Lighting candles and burning incense, he nodded me toward the pillows and blankets lining the space. "You know the drill."

"Thanks," I murmured, sitting down heavily.

"Take all the time you need. I'll see you when you're ready," he assured.

Before I fell into myself, I called Dr. Andrew. He seemed to be awaiting my call. "Jadea has already spoken to you, hasn't she?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yes, she did," he replied evenly.

As much as I wanted to pry into what they spoke about, it wasn't fair. And so, I dove into what I needed to say.

At the end of it, Dr. Andrew soothed, "You're not angry, Adam—"

I sputtered in disbelief, anger coursing through me at his bold statement. "O-of course I'm angry! I'm angry now that you've said that!"

"Just hear me out," he soothed gently. "Anger is usually a secondary emotion. We need to focus on the deeper emotion. The root cause. So, Adam, what are you not saying?"