Reclaiming Her Heart

Chapter 68 - Broken Trust

Adam

I knew we'd f****d up.

I'd let him take over, knowing he'd been anxiously waiting to connect with Jadea's wolf again. I figured allowing him this moment would help ease some of the tension and bore-headedness I was facing with my wolf. The instant she was back, he'd been fighting with me to get her alone. I figured it was him wanting to claim her, to assuage himself she was really there. To re-make their bond and bind themselves together once again. I hadn't paid attention to his underlying emotional turmoil. So lost in my own thoughts, so focused on Jadea and Caden.

Instead, the instant he could, he took advantage of the situation. Her wolf, while still strong and had that unmistakable alpha aura, blindly trusted us. She was still weak and disoriented from being disconnected for so long, she couldn't fight against my alpha's will. My wolf decided to use that to his advantage and forced her to agree to something she normally wouldn't have agreed to.

I understood why he'd forced this, why he played his cards as he had because our deepest fears had been realized when we thought she'd been killed before our very eyes. But to her core, Jadea always always believed as the alpha, it was her responsibility to sacrifice herself if it meant protecting any of her pack mates. Forcing this promise onto her...

We just put everything at risk.

We abused our power and her trust.

Yes. She had abused our trust not long ago. But, the thing about it was we had known the possibility and accepted such a risk. We knew. She hadn't.

She'd been tricked into this.

And, truth be told, I had been blindsided too. It had been a long time since my wolf acted out in such a way, and he had not shown any of his usual tells.

I feared this would shatter what trust she did have for us and would make it nearly impossible to regain it. Even if she did regain her full memories, this could put a black mark on our bond for the rest of our lives.

My wolf realized his mistake almost the instant the passionate haze settled. He immediately ceded power and control back to me. But the damage was already done.

Looking down on Jadea, her back heaved with silent tears and panic. Shoulders curling in as she was trying to hold herself together, Face turned away from me. I was still on my knees behind her, my knot forcing an intimate connection she clearly didn't want. We could be stuck like this for up to a half hour.

This had been something we'd enjoyed many times before. But now, this experience would forever be tainted.

Tentatively, I tried to brush her mind, to know exactly how she was feeling, but she'd slammed a wall into place. Being a mated and bonded pair, I could have easily pushed through that wall. Out of respect, I did not.

"Baby," I started, resignation in my tone. I held the fear close to my heart, not sure how she would react to it. When I started to reach for her shoulder, she flinched. Jerking, her teeth snapping at my fingers, angry red-hued eyes blazing at me, daring me to touch her again.

"Don't touch me," she bit tearfully. Teeth chattering. Body quaking. Tears wetting her cheeks, tearing the fabric of my heartstrings.

I had done this.

"I didn't know—"

"It's what you've always wanted though!" She accused, those eyes glaring into mine, teeth bared. "To muzzle me and take away my choice—"

Prickling, I growled, "Don't you go putting—"

"I'm not!" she roared, turning at such an odd angle so we were nose to nose. The position pulled on me, the knot still firm. It was uncomfortable and slightly painful. The wince in her gaze told me she felt it too, but didn't care. As she glared into my gaze, hers finally broke into grief. "I thought I could trust you," she whispered so brokenly, my fear bled into our bond.

I didn't know how to fix this. "You can—"

She shook her head sadly. "You just proved I can't."

"Don't say that, please, baby girl," I pleaded, hating how the yawning chasm of distance continued to grow, even though we were still connected in the most intimate of ways, she was pulling back emotionally. The distance sharp and debilitating. It scared me, possibly even more than when I learned about her self-harming situation.

Don't let her go, my wolf commanded, feeling the knot starting to soften.

I wasn't going to hold her here against her will.

If you let her go...

She may never come back.

I tamped down those very real fears, refusing to act on them. We made a mistake. We needed to sit in it and ride this out. She was emotional, and rightfully so. I didn't know how to remedy this situation yet, but forcing closeness wasn't the answer.

The instant the knot was softened enough, she broke the connection. It hurt. It wasn't soft enough not to. But she needed to get away.

"We aren't done with this conversation," I snapped, my wolf surging forward momentarily, catching her wrist as she slid off the bed.

"Yes. We. Are," she growled so coldly, ice ran through my veins. In all our years together, she'd never spoken to me in such a way. It felt like a damn slap to the face.

Instinctively, I let her go and stared numbly after her when she smoothly shifted into her mortal form, reached down and retrieved her dress and pulled it over her body as she slipped out of the room. My heart breaking, panic wanting to take hold because I wasn't sure how I was going to resolve this without driving her further away.