Isolation

Self-Defense

Finally, I can go home now. Silas hands me a bag of clothes for me to change into. I take them with me into the bathroom and start to remove my clothes, I turn to look at myself in the mirror. I don’t even recognize the girl in the mirror staring at me. I hurry and change my clothes and meet up with Silas outside the door to the room that had belonged to me for some time. “I won’t hover over you or be directly behind you every time you take a step. At least not until you are a little more trusting of me.” Silas looked down at me before continuing. “I’ll be around anytime you need me, so leave your safety to me.” He headed off towards the stairs while my parents waited down the hall for me to take the elevator. I felt a little distressed with his presence now missing, I had gotten used to him. Even when I was in a coma I still felt him there with me.

I can’t stop thinking about her, the things she said and how she looked in her own mind. Darkness crushing in around her by herself, how do I save her from that? I lay in my own bed not too far from her bedroom drowning in my thoughts. She’s terrified and is putting her trust in me. I can hear her toss and turn in her bed, her heavy breathing and whimpers. This is going to take time, a lot of time. What do I do with a 17-year-old girl who just crawled from the pits of a hell she was never meant to be in? 

I wait for her outside of her bedroom door, listening to her new routine to start the day. The door creaks open moments later, “Good morning, Rayven.” She looks at me for a brief moment, “Good morning.” She turns to walk down the hall in a dark gown that dons dark blue hues much like her name suggests. Her feet are bare, making hardly a sound as she walks. I follow several paces behind her, trying to learn as much about my goddess as possible. Everything about her was graceful, pure elegance. Not every vessel my goddess has possessed has had such poise. “Rayven, I was told we need to begin your self-defense classes today, once you finish breakfast we’ll make our way to the field out front.” Without breaking the rhythm of her step and without looking at me, the only acknowledgment she gave me was a slight nod of her head.

I just want to go back to my room, I don’t want to be around anyone. Why is this so hard to understand. “You look ready to get down to business.” Silas says as he walks up to me. They had me go change after breakfast. I’m not exactly comfortable in the form-fitting attire, but I understand that it’s the best uniform to practice in. “Silas,” he stops a few inches from me. “I’m not sure I can do this.” Silas tilts his head and looks into my eyes, but I can't read the emotion there. Maybe I’m out of touch with emotions. He reaches out his hand to my face and pokes me in the forehead. I look at him confused as to why he would do that. “There are many things that are difficult in this life. As you and I both know.” He holds his hand out for mine, then leads me to the field.

“The first thing I am going to teach you is how to dodge and block basic attacks.” Silas moved a couple of feet away and faced my direction. “Are you ready?” He moved into an attack stance and I felt my heart race with fear. I didn’t know what to do, he must have noticed because he stood up straight and look at me without expression. “Are you afraid I’ll hurt you Rayven?” I nod my head, I’m terrified! He took his stance again, “Block or dodge my attacks, I’ll train you so that the fear will not overcome your determination to remain safe.”

My bruises ache as I climb into the bathtub. Tears fall from my eyes as I think about how terrible training had gone. I failed over and over until I couldn’t take it anymore. Hours had passed and I hadn’t made any progress, I had walked away from him and made my way to my bedroom. I walked away trying to put distance between us but yet he found himself by my side again until I reached my door. I climb out of the tub and dried off. Then head to my connected bedroom to put on my pajamas. Laying in bed I cry myself into a deep sleep.