Written by the Moon

39~ YOU

Plano ko sanang magmukmok sa aking silid kapag tapos na kaming kumain. Iiwas ako kung kailangan. The last thing I want for me is to get tempeted again to break rules for my feelings. Kaya, gusto kong umalis agad.

Kaso, hindi naman papayag si Sham at Michelle. Inaya akong magtrain sa kanila ng archery. Gusto ko mang tanggihan, hindi ko naman sila matiis. Sham and Michelle gave me their puppy eyes.

I rolled my eyes when they cheered as they heard my approval. Tapos na akong kumain, halatang binilisan ko. Sila naman, hindi pa. Puno na naman ng pag-uusap.

I sighed as I sat on my chair. Ako lang ata ang tahimik dito. Ngumingiti naman ako at tumatawa. Sumasabay sa mga reaksyon. Hindi lang talaga ako sumasabay sa mga usapan nila. I just can't when Forest is here, enjoying Zafeya's company.

I want to hate Zafeya. But I can't hate her. Mabait siyang tao. Masama na talaga ako kung sisiraan ko pa siya sa isip.

Pinagmasdan ko siyang uminom ng tubig, napakaelegante. Sumubo sa pagkain. Ngumiti na parang kay saya ng buhay niya. Tinatakpan ang bibig kapag tumatawa. Paminsan-minsan, lumilingon kay Forest at sabay silang ngingiti o tatawa.

Her sweet almond eyes matches Forests' brooding eyes perfectly. Her smile that can almost light up the room and her laugh, soft like a lady.

Hindi ko nga alam kung bakit ko pa kinukompara ang sarili sa kan'ya. I mean, I can't compare to her. Elegante siya, dugyot ako. Tapos pipila pa ako kay Forest? Ang kapal na ata ng mukha ko kung gano'n.

My mind snapped back to reality when I heard my name was mentioned. Nang tingnan ko na sila, nakatingin na sa akin.

"Paging Eloise Naveah Acadian, paging!"

Tumikhim ako nang nasa akin na pala ang kanilang atensyon. Buti nalang sa bintana ako nakatingin kanina at hindi sa isa sa kanila. Napabuntong hininga ako.

"I'm sorry, yes?" I massaged my temple, pretending like I'm sick. What a lame excuse.

Mas napansin tuloy nila ang pagmasahe ko sa aking ulo. Napalunok ako nang hindi ito ang gusto kong isipin nila.

"Are okay?" Unang nagtanong si Mark.

I just smiled and nodded. Hindi ko man sinadya pero may paraan na ang mata ko na tumingin ng bahagya sa direction ni Forest. He didn't seem to be concerned. I pursed my lips rralizing that he's finally moving on. Good for him.

"Sure?" Usisa naman ni Tiana.

I chuckled, trying to release any tension.

"I just thought about something,"

"Like what?" Agarang tanong ni Sham.

I gave her my warning look. She sheepishly smiled at me after. I slightly rolled my eyes to look away.

"Home..." it came out of my mouth naturally. I miss Paredes. My comfort.

"Talking about home, we were talking about how good you were with Archery back home."

I nodded as I cleared my throat.

"What about it?"

Sham gave me that look. She did an exaggerated reaction like I just saud something bad.

"C'mon! You were the best among everyone. Even the professors wanted to learn from you!"

"You seem to be sporty, Nav. You don't seem like it since you always wear dresses," I don't know if that was a compliment from Zafeya or what.

I awkwardly smile. Tiningnan ko ang creamed color na bestida ko ngayon. Totoo naman ang sinabi niya. Nasanay lang ako dahil ito naman lagi ang sinusuot ko sa Paredes.

"I'm more comfortably with this."

Mark gave me a raise with his brow. Like I said something wrong. Why is everyone acting like I'm a culprit?!

"I remembered you complaining wearing a dress at a... competition."

Naalala ko ang Olympics noon. I was complaining how I wore a dress that day. But that doesn't mean I'm not comfortable. I rolled my eyes at him that they laughed at.

"That was a competition, Mark," I pointed out.

He gave me a pout in which I just dismissed. He laughed at me and sniffed at my hair quietly. Sanay akong inaamoy niya ang buhok ko. He does it with our normal conversations. Ako ang nauna noon na umamoy sa buhok niya. Ginaya naman ako at mukhang nagustuhan niya ang buhok ko. Kaso nang matapos niyang dinampi ang ilong sa akin uli ay nakita ko mariin na titig ni Forest kay Mark.

May pumasok sa isip ko, nagbabasakali. Hindi ako makapaniwala sa sarili na nagbabasakali pa talaga ako na baka naapektohan pa siya. Pero ang labo. Matapos ang mariin na titig kay Mark, umiwas din ito at hinaplos ang buhok ni Zafeya. He's really trying his best to move on. Habang ako, umaasa pa talaga kahit na hindi naman kailangan.

Napailing ako sa sarili.

"Can you teach me, Nav? I want to learn archery," she gave me this smile that I would want to abode her favor.

But...

"Forest is good at it. He can teach you," hindi ko siya kayang pagbigyan. Mas lalo ko lang ikukompara ang sarili sa kan'ya. Aykoko no'n.

She pouted as I gave my response. She nodded, respecting my decision. Humarap ito kay Forest. Bumaba ako mata ko nang makita kung paano niya hinawakan ang kamay nito. She intertwined their palms as she asked for the same favor at him.

"Will you, Cast?" she call him Cast, huh?

I looked away when Forest nodded calmly at her. Para atang paulit-ulit ko lang sinasaktan ang sarili. Everybody looked at them adorely. I mean, I wish I could do the same. Unfortunately, I can't.

Tiana looked at me and gave me a comforting smile. I responded with a tight smile as they continued with their conversation.

I sighed quietly as they finsihed their breakfast. Mabuti naman. Nagtungo na rin kami sa training grounds. Mangha si Zaf nang makit ito. Malaki at malawak ang training ground namin. It's just at the backyard of the mansion.

They got their bows and arrows ready while I just sat on a chair near the shooting area. Hinanda na nila ang kanilang bows. Napandekuwatro akong umupo habang tinitignan sila. Mas napansin ko dito sa Zaf dahil sa mahinhin niyang kilos.

Tiningnan ko ang sarili na nakapandekuwtro. Para lang akong tambay dito. Tsk...

"You're not gonna practice with us?" Zaf asked when she saw sitting.

"I don't do practice."

"She does live hunting, Zaf," Mark said as he adjusted his bow.

Bakas naman ang mangha sa mukha ni Zaf. She looks stunned. Maybe she hasn't seen someone hunt before? But her boyfriends hunts. But her innocent looks just took it away.

"I'd like to see you hunt one day."

Tumango ako.

"It won't be safe for you then," I am aware that she's younger than me.

"She has me," is this the feeling were you suddenly felt your heart dropped to your stomach? Cause I felt it hard.

I nodded as he pulled Zaf closer to him and gave her some instructions. Lumingon sa akin sa Mark at Tiana. Bakas naman sa mukha ang awa para sa akin. I jsut shrugged my shoulders just to show them that I'm fine.

I need to act fine. I need to act unaffected because one day, that will be my true feelings.

"You're not gonna join us?" this is his first time talking to me this day.

Hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili na magwapohan da kan'ya. Now, I feel more tempted.

Umiling ako.

"No."

"Sure?"

Tumaas ang kilay ko.

"You want me to?"

"I know you like archery."

He knows. He remembers. I pouted as Sham and Jedi started to convince me to join them. Umiling ako ngunit mas lalo lang nila ginalingan ang pagkumbinsi sa akin.

"You're the legend!" Sham couldn't just stop.

"I'd be fun if you join us."

Hindi ko alam pero naiinis ako. How can he create a conversation with me so easily like that? Na parang wala siyang pinagdaanan. Why does he act so easy with everything? Habang ako nasasaktan pa.

"Convince me then," I gritted my teeth.

He chuckled. But it's making me feel so annoyed. The mere chuckle of this man can boil my blood. Parang nakalimutan na niya lahat, ah. Ang bilis naman.

Kaso ang tanga ko naman. Aasa pa talaga ako na bumagal ang pagkawala ng nararamdaman niya sa akin? I signed the sacred paper because I want him to move on. Now that it's happening, why do I feel so against it? Damn this!

"I'll give you my bow and arrow."

"Your arrow seems old," I twitched my face.

"Old is good."

"Just one draw then that thing breaks."

"How about a scholarship?"

I shrugged.

"I'm not staying here for long,"

"You're not?" Biglaang nagbago ang tono sa boses nito. O baka ako lang ang nakarinig no'n. I must be crazy.

"Yeah,"

"Why?"

"Do you have to know?"

I swallowed hard. There was a moment of pause. A moment where it felt like we were the only creature in this world. Nanibago tuloy ako sa kan'ya. I snapped back to reality when he chuckled.

"Then what do you want?"

You. My mind thought.

To be continued...