I was awake for a while before I ventured to open my eyes. Inside I felt so miserable. It was as though I had been wrung out and left to dry. I did not need to hear from the doctor to tell me that my system was totally messed up. It was a wonder that I had periods of consciousness during this period. The days of perfect health I had enjoyed all seemed like a dream that happened to someone else in another life. I had forgotten how it felt to be a master of my body, going where I wanted to, doing things I wanted to do without being confined to a bed. A crushing feeling of guilt pervaded me. Maybe this illness was all my fault because I went out in the snow when I was just recovering from exposure. The feeling lifted when I vaguely remembered the doctor telling Kane and my mother that he was
