Kairos

Silence Between Them

Theia

Why did he leave? Why doesn’t he look at me?

My heart is pounding as if it wants to burst out of my chest, and yet… nothing. No words, no messages, no glance. As if I no longer exist in his world. And all these weeks… my thoughts were only of him. Every shadow, every voice, every breath – maybe it’s him? But no, only emptiness.

Did I say something wrong?

Maybe I was too present… too obvious. I saw him too much. And him? He disappeared, ran away from himself, from me… from us? And I didn’t even know he was so weak, fragile, so broken that he’s afraid of his own feelings.

Was I too much for him?

Couldn’t he say anything? Admit it, whisper it, at least look? Just “I’m in a hurry” and the message deleted… deleted! As if I were a ghost to him, not a real person. Maybe I was too honest, maybe his inner world was too bloody for me…

But then… when he would appear, when he looked at me, my heart would sink to my stomach.

As if I could see all his wounds, all his fears, all his pain. And it was terrifying… but so real. So real that it kills me, but also draws me in. Blood in his thoughts, guilt, insecurity – all of it for me. So why am I here, and he hides?

I can’t go on like this…

I want to catch him, to tell him I’m here, that I understand… but I’m afraid. If I touch him before he’s ready… everything will collapse. And yet, a part of me wants to burn.

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Thedor

Why can’t I?

I can’t look at her. Every time I do, I see all my weaknesses. I see how fragile I am, how far I am from the hero I wish to be. Her eyes… her eyes see everything.

Does she think I left because of her?

No, she isn’t the problem. The problem is me. I’m too weak, too vulnerable. If I speak now, if I tell the truth… maybe she’ll reject me. And if I stay silent, she may think it’s her fault. I can’t… I’ve never been ready to be honest. I’ve always avoided my emotions. Maybe it’s better this way.

Every glance, every attempt…

Everything can be misunderstood. That’s why I deleted the message. Better to disappear, better to remain a shadow. Better not to show up until I’m strong. And maybe I never will be. I’m not good enough for her. I will lose her.

But every day…

Every breath of hers, every movement… it engraves itself in me. Like blood on skin – it cannot be erased. And it hurts, it hurts every failure. Yet I’m afraid, so I run. I run from the very love that wants me, from the truth that destroys me, and perhaps from myself.

If she sees me now…

If she looks at me… I won’t be able to hide my weakness. Everything I feel – fear, love, pain, desire – will surface. And I’m not ready to show it. Not yet.

If only she knew, and I believe she does, I’m so weak for you. If I gave you access to my heart, Theia, you would destroy me and save me at the same time. And I… wouldn’t resist, and that scares me.

His hand was frozen from Theia’s touch on his shoulder. Her eyes… her eyes were devouring him alive from the inside, but they weren’t allowed to know the truth. He wasn’t like the others – he never had been. Sometimes he wanted to push her away, to be forgotten, so she wouldn’t see what no one should see.

“I can’t… I mustn’t let her see…” he thought, wanting to hide behind his usual masks. None of what I feel must come out.

Half dragon, half mermaid, and raised in the human world. His family had guarded this secret for generations, strictly and coldly. They never explained why he was different; they only taught him to hide.

He was popular among humans, but that world of popularity was only a surface – a mask he had to wear. And Theia… Theia was too close. Her presence suffocated him, yet pulled him toward her.

“Why is she so… close? Close yet far?” he thought as he slowly walked toward the school exit. His heart was a heavy stone in his chest. Delete the message, say you’re in a hurry… that was his way of surviving, of not letting her see his weakness. And yet, every thought of hers, every glance, was both poison and medicine at the same time.

He sat alone in the park after school, while people passed him by unnoticed. Occasionally, his eyes blinked, revealing shades of his true being – golden-red scales on his palm that must never appear, a strand of fin that briefly shone on his wrist. His heart trembled, and his thoughts were raw and bloody:

“I’m not human… I’m not just a dragon… I’m not just a mermaid… and I can’t let her know. I don’t even know what I really am. If she realizes, if she feels it, everything will collapse. Maybe she would love me… or maybe she’d run. I can’t risk it. I must keep my distance, even though every atom in my body screams to be closer… to not run…”

But the secret weighed heavily. Every smile he gave, every joke among people, every friendly punch on the shoulder was heavy with the lies he carried. His true self was fragile, almost luminous, and out of control in the human world.

“Sometimes I think… maybe it’s better if I disappear. If I withdraw. But then I hear her name, her laughter, her gaze, and everything pulls me back. I try to be ordinary, and inside me burns fire and water at the same time. She won’t understand… maybe no one could.” It breaks my balance, as if all my masks are falling.

And as he sat there, the wind playing through his hair, his thoughts collided with reality – the world was false, people were false, and he was too real. Too different. And every step he took away from Theia was a step through his own agony: he wants her, but he fears her. He wants to touch her, but fears she’ll see who he really is.

In that silence, in that park, Thedor admitted to himself: he can’t be ordinary. Never. And while the world sees him as a popular, charming guy, his truth is bloody, wild, dangerous. And Theia… she was too close for him to hide much longer.