The Doctor Who couldn't

Chapter 4

I told myself that he would come around. A days weeks later, I decided to try and go to work. When I got there, I heard from rumors that Skylar left the program. He up and left to a whole other state and changed his number. So much for him coming around. I was scared now. Before I was just pregnant, now I’m pregnant and alone. How will I be able to do anything? I see Dr. Montez and Erika waiting for me to enter the room. “Fran, would you please come in?” I nodded as I walked in. “Skylar told us what happened, he says he is very sorry. He had no other choice but to leave the program.” “And the state entirely.” “Yeah, he said sorry.” I began to tear up. Fran, I want you to stop seeing patients. I don’t need you or the baby to stress out.” “But how will I make money to pay my bills with?” “I will keep you doing paperwork for the nurses.”

Great, I’m stuck doing scut work. “Okay, thank you for not cutting me off entirely.” I walked out of the room and began my paperwork. I continued to look down, I was ashamed for my one-night stand and the baggage that came with it. I wasn’t even showing yet, but I was 16 weeks along. My whole world flipped around. I didn’t know what I was going to do with the baby yet. Maybe I should abort it and get on with my life. I use surgery to calm my nerves and collect my thoughts. So, I will probably go stir crazy thinking about it.

…..

A few days later, I had an idea. What if someone showed me the technique for each thing we are learning, so I don’t get left behind. I called Dr. Montez and told her my idea. “Now, Fran, that’s a brilliant idea. I’ll have someone right on it and try not to worry yourself.” At least I can practice on a banana or a potato. An hour later, I was grabbing a bottle of water, and taking a nap. While I was in the kitchen, I heard a knock at my front door. I opened it and saw my best friend standing in the doorway with a disk in her hand. “Erika! I’m so glad you came.” “Hey, Fran, how is the little one?” “It’s good, I’m thinking about abortion.” “Fran, you can’t! It’s like murder on the baby.” I never thought about it like that. “True.”

We sat on the couch and watched the video. It was a Whipple stitch. I practiced on a banana while Erika watched me. “I’m glad you’re the one who teaches me, I thought I was going to get left behind.” Erika smiled as she continued to watch me. As I finished, her smile vanished from her face. “What’s wrong?” “I’m sorry I haven’t been around much, I thought he would stay and help you with the baby.” “It’s okay, you’re still here.” “Yeah.” She smiled once more, and it vanished again. “Hey, I have to get back, I’ll be by tomorrow with the next lesson.” “Bye, Erika.” She left and I finally got to take my nap.

……

I woke up a few hours later, and it was as if nothing had changed. The only thing that pulled me back to reality, was that Skylar was already gone. He left with no remorse; did he ever care? I ordered some biscuits from the diner down the road. The baby was hungry, and so was I. The house was dirty, so I decided to do that until the biscuits arrive. I had a new sense of energy within myself, it was something odd. I wanted to curl up and cry, but I also wanted to fight my emotions. I want this baby to have the best life it could possibly have, even if it wasn’t with me. Ericka would be a good mom, but she doesn’t know how to put down her work for anything. What if the kid gets hurt one day? I also wasn’t sure if I would be the best mother either. Like Ericka, my work is everything to me. I went one day without surgery, and I wanted to curl up in a ball. I was excited to see what my next lesson would be, and who it would be with. I loved my life but being pregnant from a one-night stand from a party. After debating my bad life decisions, my biscuits were at the door.

I ate every one that came out of the bag. They were the perfect golden brown, like out of the commercials on television. The diner from down the street even added my favorite apple butter. It tasted like a cinnamon roll, but in butter form. It was really the greatest thing on the entire planet. After devouring the entire plate, I decided to go to sleep. It was at that moment, I realized that I could be a decent mother. I was eating for two, instead of one. Does that count to me being a good enough mother, though?