His meal, Her shame

Something missing

London, England

So, she hadn’t been lying.  She didn’t know who the man in her dreams was.  To be honest when Elam had said “he didn’t have a face, as I said it’s probably just hormonal.” Ferox had thought she just didn’t want to admit that she had been fantasying about him.  He knew that she had a crush on him in the early days of their friendship, but as time went on Elam seemed to have decided she had no hope in the crush being fulfilled and gave up on the notion.  Ferox didn’t know how he felt knowing that there was no one in Elam’s life that she thought of in that way.  He was relived because it meant that there was no one to take her attentions way.  But he was also worried, the fact that she no longer had feelings for him meant that there was now an available spot for someone else to fill.  His only hold on her was as her friend. Friendships could easily be replaced by the attention of a lover, which meant he was replaceable in Elam’s life. 

Ferox let out an angry growl smashing the boxing bag in front of him.  He’d been in his gym trying to release some energy since Elam had left for her flight.  Ferox had managed to keep his cool all morning while Elam went over and over what she needed him to do for her while she was away. 

“Don’t forget to water my plants, and make sure they get some sunlight too.  I’ve drawn a map of where each plant is and how much water it will need.  Also, don’t forget to get my mail from the box downstairs.  All my bills are on auto payment, but if mail piles up in my box it’ll make it obvious, I’m away.” Ferox played with his phone, bored of the instructions that Elam had already given him before. “Fer?” Elam grumbled poking his shoulder, “Are you listening to me?”  Ferox sighed giving her a pointed look, “El, I’m several centuries older than you and have been managing to look after myself quite well. Also, since your apartment isn’t even half the size of mine, I’m sure I can manage to look after it for you for 6 measly months.” He’d been purposely cold, if she didn’t care about the fact this was the first time they’d been apart for more than a week in over 10 years, then he didn’t care even more.

 Ferox continued to feel frustrated as he thought about that damn apartment.  When they’d first relocated to London, he’d offered to let her stay at his apartment in one of the guest rooms indefinitely.  But no, Elam insisted on renting some shithole apartment that was all her budget could afford, rather than his penthouse apartment in London’s West-end, all for the sake of ‘independence’ and ‘boundaries’.  The more Ferox thought about it the more he felt like that crush of hers wasn’t real, maybe it was just fascination with what he was.  Because even though he set the boundaries of not being more than friends, since she was human, it was El that put distance between them – that kept him at a safe distance.  He was the one who kept inviting her closer only to be pushed away with schedules, rules and separate dwellings. 

Elam had even had the cheek to say to him when he bemoaned about her unsafe and substandard first apartment. “Fer, I won’t be living here forever, only until I can save enough to find a comfortable unit in a nicer area.  Or are you not actually concerned with my safety and more annoyed that you won’t have a snack sleeping in the next room?”  He’d tersely replied at the time, “I thought you wanted to be friends? Don’t friends live as roommates when one has an apartment with multiple empty rooms, state of the art facilities and a doorman and the others only other housing option worse than living on the streets? Or was your offer of friendship not genuine?”

He’d gotten a strongly worded lecture about what friendship was and wasn’t, and the need for people to be in dependant individuals who can stand on their own two feet rather than leeching off more stable friends who’d had years to establish themselves and gain independence. 

Her choice of words were not missed on him.  Elam had a gift for sounding pious and making him feel like the bad guy. Just because he drank blood, didn’t mean he was a leech, but it was a still a sore spot for him.  He couldn’t help but move from a logical argument to an emotional one whenever he felt someone was implying that he was nothing more than a leech.  Not them Elam considered him one, but she knew that wording like that would shut the conversation down in her favour.  It was a little manipulative but given there wasn’t many ways a human like her could with against a vampire like him, Ferox gave her those small victories.  Or at least as far as she knew. Sure, she’d lived in that shitty apartment before moving to her current one.  But that didn’t stop him buying the building and becoming her landlord – kicking out all the unsavoury tenants, starting with the hot-blooded young males he caught checking her out on moving day. 

He also owned her current building. He’d searched for an appropriate building for two years; close to her work, safe neighbourhood, good size and plenty of natural light (Well as much as London could offer), plus close enough to his apartment for it to be convenient for her to come over, but far enough away that she could have her “independence”.    Then, when the time was right and Elam was looking for a new place to buy, rather than rent, Ferox put the apartment he liked best up for sale at an irresistible price.  Manipulative? Yes.  For Elam’s own good? Definitely.  Also, convenient for him? That goes without saying.

Ferox may have let Elam believe that she’d won the argument, but there was no way he’d let her be at risk.  Not again, not like when they’d first met. 

Elam’s life now revolved around him, so he would keep her safe and well.  Ferox paused for a moment, maybe she was so nonchalant about their six months apart because she didn’t realise how much of her life involved him.  Maybe the six months were a good thing, because then she would realise and appreciate him more.  Yes, he thought to himself, the time apart would be good because Elam would come to appreciate him more because of it.   

Ferox, finished up at the gym and headed for the showers in a much calmer mood.