To Love A Princess

Chapter Twenty-One

Damen’s Point Of View

Two days left… 

“Why is writing so hard?” I asked myself out loud, leaning back in my chair. 

“Is everything alright your highness?” 

I looked over at the door and saw a maid passing by, holding a basket of clean white laundry. My chair sat on all fours and I sighed. “I’m supposed to be writing my vows. I just hate how I decided to do this now because I don’t do well under pressure.” 

“Well,” she began as she walked in, placing the clothes against her hip. “Think of all the reasons you fell in love with her. And if not love, think of the reasons why you like her so much. Why she is who she is to you. I’m not much of a writer, but if it were me and my fiancé, I’d write about the reasons why I love him.”

I raised an eyebrow. “You’re engaged?”

She shook her head. “We’ve been together for three years, engaged for three months.”

“So that means you can help me right?” 

“I wish I could but this has to come from the heart. I believe that you can do this.” 

I sighed. “Thank you for your help and I wish you an extremely late congratulations on your engagement. He’s a pretty lucky man.” 

She smiled. “Thank you your highness. I know that you will come up with something. In the meantime, is there anything you need to get the flow going?”

I tapped my chin. “No, I think I’m okay. But thank you anyways.”

She nodded. “You’re welcome. Just let me know if you need anything.” 

She bowed and proceeded to the door, disappearing into the dimly lit hallway. The reasons why I do like her. The reasons why I love her like a little sister. I could name a bunch, but I don’t want to go overboard. I know Isabelle has some sort of plan in mind. She didn’t tell me what it was. She’s afraid that I’m going to ruin things for her and that the plan will go awry. I’ll keep it short and simple, get straight to the point. I can do this. 

******

Olivia’s Point Of View

I can’t do this. I can’t walk in there and pretend that I’m okay with her marrying someone that isn’t me. And the fact that she asked me to be the maid of honor means I will be standing up there with her and Damen. That doesn’t make things any better. With only two days left, my mind was on overdrive. I shouldn’t be there. I don’t want to be there to witness the love of my life marry someone who isn’t me. I just can’t do it. Then again, I can’t and don’t want to let her down. I don’t want to disappoint her by not showing up. She’s my best friend, she’s my happiness. She’s the one I’m supposed to be with. Not Damen. Me. I might sound extremely selfish saying this, but I don’t want to see her in anyone else’s arms. I don’t want anyone else to kiss her soft lips, and hold her the way I want to. 

What made me just a tiny bit more upset was the fact that she lied about liking me. I told myself to not force it out of her because I know good and well she will tell me when she feels comfortable to say it. But damn do I wish she would have said something. Anything along the lines of “Yes I do” would have sufficed. I guess our love will just have to be a love story that didn’t even have the chance to be written. And it does hurt knowing that we will never be able to be together. It’s a pain that makes my heart hurt. It’s a feeling that I can feel in my chest and I just hope that one of these days I can get past these feelings and find someone that can actually be mine. For once I just want something, someone to be mine without any restrictions. Without having to worry about anyone taking away what makes me truly happy. It could have been. It should have been. No matter what happens, I’ll still have love for her. I don’t care about what anyone says. I’m going to always love Isabelle and there’s nothing that anyone could say or do to change that. At the end of the day, she is mine and I am hers. 

********

Isabelle’s Point Of View 

Everything was officially ready for Saturday. The cake would be baked the day of, along with all the other food so nothing would be bad and make the guests sick. My dress was placed on my mannequin and I couldn’t stop staring at it. Fiddling with the ring on my finger, I bit my lip and turned on my heel to walk over to my wardrobe. I grabbed one of my cape with fur on the inside and wrapped it around my body, securing it by placing the loop around the button. Pulling my hair out of the bun I had it in when I was cleaning myself up, I pulled on the hood and exited my room. I sped down the hallways, my cape practically flying behind me. The guards tried to stop me but they weren’t too successful. If they can’t stop me from leaving the palace, how do they defend the palace? I’ll have to have a talk with the captain of the guard once I return. If I return that is. I quickly made my way to the cemetery. It wasn’t a long trip on foot which I was thankful for. But getting on a horse would’ve been faster I admit. 

When I arrived I was out of breath but kept going until I was at my mother’s tomb. Hot tears rolled down my cheeks as I practically tossed myself over the tombstone and began bawling my eyes out. Anyone walking past me would think I’m crazy or something. The thing is, I’m not crazy. I’m hurt. I’m hurt by the fact that my father thinks it’s okay to marry me off to someone I don’t love. Hurt by the fact that I won’t be able to be with the person I want to be with. Hurt by the fact that my mom is gone and I know all she wanted to see me walk down the aisle before she left this world. 

“Why did you have to leave me?” I sobbed heavily. “It should’ve been me, not you.” 

The tears came out like a waterfall and I sobbed harder, then began coughing, hacking even. Sitting up to calm myself down, I sniffled and I could feel the pain in my chest. That’s how I know it’s bad. When I can feel the hurt in my chest, that’s how I just know that I’ve really been going through a lot. And it hurts even more because this is something I have to get over on my own. It’s not something that anyone can help me get through. I’m alone in this one. This is my problem, and I have to deal with it on my own. 

“Why does it have to be so hard?” I asked. “Why did you have to leave me mama? I just wish you were still here to guide me through this.” 

I ran my hand across her name and sighed. “I wish you here. But you’re in a better place now and you’re not suffering. I know that you’re up in heaven having the time of your life with grandma and grandpa. I hope you’re happy.”

I gave the thought of her finally reuniting with her parents a genuine smile and immediately started to feel better. Taking off my cape, I placed it on the ground and sat on it. I heard that talking to the person that you lost helps. It makes you feel as if they’re still here with you. So that’s what I did. I told her everything I told Damen. How I’m terrified of getting married and especially so soon. How I actually do have feelings for Olivia but obviously I’ve had to put them on the backburner because of the wedding. How I just feel so alone throughout this whole thing and my father wasn’t helping at all. How I wish that I could be with Olivia instead of Damen. Of course I didn’t get a response but it felt good to just express how I feel with zero judgement. 

“So that’s it. I wish you could respond but it’s just nice to talk about it without anyone having to put in their opinions. I just need to figure out a way to get out of this. I should probably be getting back now. I know father will wonder where I am. I love you.” 

I rose from my spot and tried to navigate my way through the darkness. My cape was draped over my arm as I floated through the cemetery, careful to not step on anyone’s headstone. The palace was within view and I knew that I’d be in trouble the moment I crossed the threshold. My father was probably standing at the steps. Royal robe on, tapping his left foot, hands folded behind his back and his face holding the slightest bit of anger. Come to my surprise once I arrived back home, my father wasn’t even at the doorstep. The guards were, but not him. They let me in without saying a word. No one said my father wanted to see me. The maids had bowed and passed by me as if they hadn’t even noticed I was gone. What is happening? I guess it’s just best to not question it. I decided to quickly make my way into my bedroom and closed the door behind me, letting out a breath of relief. Way to not get caught.

“Isabelle,” a voice said.

I jumped in my spot and looked to see who it belonged to. Looking straight ahead, I saw my father sitting at my vanity, the chair facing the door. My assumption was correct. Royal robe, left foot tapping the floor and he held an upsetting look on his face. I gulped but I was ready to get an earful from him. 

“Isabelle, where have you been I was worried sick about you. I was going to have the guards put out a search party for you.” 

“Dad I was fine. I was visiting mom.” 

He stood up and took a few steps towards me. “You didn’t think to tell me or anyone before you left? You know that if you’re alone you can get seriously hurt.”

“Yes I know, but I wasn’t.” 

“Do you not care for your own well being? Is that what it is? I bet you didn’t even think of taking a guard with you.” 

I placed my dirt covered cape in the basket where my other dirty clothes lie. “Father I can assure you that I was perfectly safe. I’m not hurt or anything. And the palace isn’t as far as you think it is.” 

“That doesn’t matter. All it takes is one good angle, and then you’re gone. Do you understand that?” 

“For what feels like the millionth time I told you I was okay. I know how to defend myself and I know what to do if anyone tries to attack me in any way.”

He let out a frustrated groan, but then took a deep breath in and out to calm his nerves. Just when I thought we were making progress when it comes to getting along. “Alright. Just don’t leave without telling anyone where you are going. Understood?” 

I nodded. “I understand.” 

He walked in front of me to place a kiss on my forehead and gave me a hug. “I know this is going to be a tough adjustment, but this will only work if both of us cooperate. This isn’t a one person job.”

“I know. I’m really trying but it’s just kind of difficult. I mean having to adjust to one life is already hard enough. Now I have to adjust to married life as well. It’s all just so overwhelming.”

“It is. And I’m sorry I’m putting a lot on you. I just need you to know that sometimes this is how life is. You’re going to be overwhelmed with things that are out of your control, and you have to be able to adapt to those changes that are going on in your life.”

“To be completely honest with you, I cried after telling mom what’s been going on lately, in terms of my feelings about this whole thing. I had a long talk with her today and I just feel like this is a lot for a teenager.” 

“And I apologize for putting this much stress on you. I really do. To make it up to you, I’ll tell the story of how your mother and I ended up getting married. How does that sound?”

“That would make me feel a bit better. Can we do this in the dining hall? I’m famished.”

He chuckled. “Sure, anything for you darling.” 

***** 

We finally get to hear about Kind Leonard’s arranged marriage! I hope you guys are excited to read about it because I am very excited to write about it. Tune in tomorrow for another chapter!