To Love A Princess

Chapter Nineteen

Isabelle’s POV

3 days before the wedding...

“Are you sure you can go through with this?” my father asked for the tenth time. 

“Yes, I’m sure,” I responded as I pulled the sleeves down a little bit. 

Today we decided to have my mother’s funeral. I knew it wasn’t the best idea, but I can’t exactly enjoy a honeymoon with the thought of going to a funeral hanging above my head like a cloud. Even though Damen and I aren’t really calling it a honeymoon since we’re not in love. We’re calling it a vacation. The funeral wasn’t even my father’s idea surprisingly. It was more so my idea. Even though I’m going to be marrying Damen, I still want to celebrate the fact that we’re married, even if it’s just as friends. Now that I think about it, it’s kind of weird. But we have to celebrate something right? Who am I kidding? I have always wanted my honeymoon to be magical and romantic. But as far as I’m concerned, it’ll just be seven days of him being a total i***t. Then again, what’s the point in celebrating a “new life together” when I just had to bury someone? There’s nothing to celebrate. I know she would tell me differently if she were here, and I feel like that’s what she’s thinking now.

“Isabelle I know that this is hard on you but I just want you to know that I’m here for you,” Damen’s voice chimed in behind me. 

He placed a hand on my shoulder, which caused me to place mine on top of his. Letting him know that I accept his comfort. And to think that he couldn’t be extremely sweet. The guards were posted in front of the doors in case the two men bringing out the coffin were to drop her. Damen, my father and I, stood on the first step that led up to the doors. Everyone else was either behind us, beside us, or across from us. Everyone dressed in black to pay their respects to my father and I. I’ve heard of princesses and princes who are way younger than me losing their mother. I don’t see how they could’ve possibly gotten through it. 

The two guards brought her out and carefully placed her inside of the carriage. Some people were crying and I felt for them. I yearned to go up to them and hug them, but it wasn’t part of royal protocol. Once she was safely secure inside, the driver slowly began to move, making sure not to go too fast and make the coffin hit the door and fall out. A tear rolled down my cheek as I began to think about the fact that this would be the last time I’d see my mother. 

“Here,” Damen whispered, handing me his pocket handkerchief. 

“Thank you,” I whispered, then began to dab my eyes. 

Damen pulled me into a hug and I sighed in exhaustion. I didn’t realize how tired I actually was until now. With everything that’s been going on, I have barely been eating or sleeping. My father knows about the eating, but not the sleeping. I don’t even have the heart to tell him that there might be something wrong with me as well. Imagine losing your wife and then have the thought of losing your daughter, your only child at that next. I can’t do that to him. 

“You don’t look so good,” Damen commented. 

“Gee thanks. If I wanted your input on how I look, I’d ask,” I snapped. “Plus what do you expect from someone who just lost their mom?”

“Okay easy, I didn’t mean it like that. I just mean that you look like you’re starting to lose a bit of weight and you look tired. Are you okay?” he questioned. 

I turned to face him. “Damen I’m fine. If I wasn’t I’d say something.” 

He looked as if he wanted to say something, but held back and just simply nodded. My mother was out of sight now. I wasn’t sure how to think or feel, but I felt as if I just wanted to cry my eyes out. But I was all cried out… 

***

Once the funeral was over, my father, Damen, King Harold and I had gone to the burial ground, where my mother was to be laid to rest. It was the place where the rest of our family was buried. The man already had a place for her. She would be placed by my great grandma Lucia, who died of poison. I hope I don’t pass that way. We threw flowers onto the casket, said our goodbyes, and watched as the dirt began to cover the red box. A piece of me laid underneath the dirt, and wasn’t coming back. Damen placed a hand on my back, guiding me back to the carriage we came in. The driver opened the door and I got in first, picking up my dress so it wouldn’t get caught. Damen followed after, then his father and mine. The driver closed the door and got onto the seat, where he got the horses to start walking. The ride back to the palace was quiet and uncomfortable. I can’t believe I had to do that. I can’t believe she’s gone forever. Damen must have noticed my expression because he gently tilted my head so I could lean on his shoulder. I didn’t even try to fight him for once. I just needed someone to lean on. And I’m thankful that he’s here… 

*****

Damen’s Point Of View 

She looks so exhausted. So exhausted to a point where I was afraid she was going to faint and then never wake up. I didn’t want to pester her with any more questions. She’s already had a rough day as it is, but I’m really concerned about her well being. I placed my hand on the small of her back and guided her back inside. Her father was already inside and had disappeared to God knows where. 

“I just need a minute,” she told me, clearly tired from today. 

Sometimes I forget how exhausting a funeral actually is. It really drains you emotionally and I knew she was beyond emotionally exhausted. She held onto my arm as I helped hold her up. 

“Isabelle what’s wrong?” I asked. 

“I’m just a little tired is all. I’m okay,” she responded weakly. 

“Come on I know you better than that. You’re clearly not okay. What’s going on?” I asked once more, urging her to tell me the truth. 

“I’m just tired,” she responded once more. 

“From?” I questioned. 

She went silent. “Not here.”

I raised my eyebrow in confusion as to what she meant by “not here”. She tugged on my arm, signaling for me to follow her. Following in her footsteps, we began to walk in the direction that led us to her room. She let my arm go and pushed the doors open. Her room was a little messier than normal. Her bed wasn’t made and she had dresses sprawled on the floor. Her vanity wasn’t organized and I’m pretty sure that I almost tripped over a heel on my way in. I wanted to ask her what had happened, but I knew she wouldn’t be in the mood to talk about it. I carefully sat on the edge of the bed trying not to mess it up more than she had, and looked at her. Isabelle walked over to her vanity to get the chair and brought it over the bed, placing it just a couple of feet in front of me. She then crossed the room to close and lock the door so no one else would be able to hear our conversation. I watched as she took a seat in the chair and took a deep breath. 

“I’m so tired of this,” she began. “I’m tired of having to do what my father says and not being able to live my life the way that I want. I haven’t been eating as much as I used to, and I haven’t been sleeping throughout the night lately either. And when I do, I’m up before sunrise and I don’t go to sleep until late that night. There’s times when I thought about running away to get away from it all. But I know before I even get close enough to doing that, the guards will stop me and tell my father. And now with my mom gone, I just feel so alone even though I’m not. I don’t know how much longer I can handle the pressure. There’s just so much happening at once and it’s making my head spin. First the engagement, now my mother’s death, next is the wedding and after that is my coronation. And in between all of this, there’s the thing with Olivia. I don’t know how much longer I can do this. I’m scared, Damen.”

My heart really felt for her and I didn’t know what else to do but stand up and pull her into a tight hug. She let out soft sobs and I felt my shirt become damp from the tears, but I didn’t care. If I would’ve known how she felt, I would’ve been able to give her advice earlier so she wouldn’t feel this way. After hearing all of this, I wanted to tell her that the only option is to run away. That she doesn’t have to deal with this any longer, but I knew that wasn’t the ideal solution. If she were to run away, where would she go? It would only be a matter of time until her father found out where she was and forced her to come back. 

“Isabelle I’m so sorry,” I whispered, running a hand through her hair. 

“Why are you apologizing? It’s not your fault,” she told me, followed by a hiccup. 

“I know,” I began. “I know it’s not my fault, but I really just wish there was more I could do to help.. But there isn’t. I’m supposed to be able to protect you and be there when you need me. I’m supposed to be able to make you smile when you need a good laugh. And I’m not saying this as your future husband. I’m saying this as your brother figure. And the only advice I can give to you right now is to take things one step at a time. Because if you think about all the things you have to do, it’ll just make things harder on you and stress you out more. And I can already tell that with everything that’s going on, you are stressed and I hate seeing you like this. So please, for your own well-being, just don’t think too far ahead about the events to come. Focus on the present and not the future. Trust me on this. It will help you in the long run.”

She looked at me, her eyes resembled glass from the tears that were forming. She wrapped her arms around my torso and laid her head on my chest. A staggered breath released from her lips and she sighed. I wrapped my arms around her and we stayed that way for a moment before she pulled away from me. 

“Thanks for being in my life. Once this whole mess is over, I hope you’re able to find someone who genuinely wants to marry you because I think you’d make an amazing husband. I’ll be able to back that up with no problem,” she smiled. 

I chuckled. “Thank you. Are you hungry?” 

“I could eat.”

“I hope so because I feel like I’m going to need to keep an eye on you from now on. Maybe visit every couple of days.” 

“Hmm… I don’t think that will be necessary.”

She let me go and began to walk over to the door. I followed and raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? Why’s that?” 

“I think after the wedding and our so-called honey moon I’ll be fine. I guess, my hope is at least that once this whole thing is over things will slowly return back to normal. I mean my life won’t be one hundred percent normal now that… well you know she’s gone. But I feel as if once I get back into some sort of routine, things will be okay again.”

“Amen to that. My dad has been constantly asking me if I even finished my vows and asking if one of the maids should help me write them.” 

We rounded the corner and she looked at me with a concerned look. “The wedding is in three days and you still haven’t finished them?”

I scratched the back of my neck. “I mean I plan on it I really do, but the words just don’t come out right when I sit down to write them. I just think I need another day to think about it and hopefully I’ll have something by Friday.”

Damen if you don’t have something by Friday please get help. I don’t want you to get to the altar and have nothing to say in response to mine.” 

“I’m going to go on the notion that you finished yours haven’t you?”

She nodded, obviously feeling proud of herself. “It kind of just came naturally.” 

I rolled my eyes in a joking manner. “Well not even can be as talented as you.”

“Guess I’m just gifted. So what should we make?” 

I leaned against the counter and folded my hands together. “Sandwiches are fine.” 

She smiled at the sound of that. “Sounds good to me because I don’t feel like cooking anything.” 

I smiled back. “I figured.”