To Love A Princess

Chapter Ten

"Isabelle try this. I promise you that you are going to like it," Olivia smiled, pulling out some sort of desert of the basket. 

Olivia thought that we should have a picnic before I become a married woman. My last few days of freedom. I didn't want to think of marriage this way, even though sometimes that's how it feels. It feels like some sort of trap that I can't make my way out of. Almost as if I'm locked inside of a room with no escape and the only way out is the window. And that window is fifty feet high. I know how I could possibly escape this whole thing, but that would require for me to run away and give up my title as Princess Isabelle of Drensel. My engagement ring is a constant reminder that I am giving up more than I want. More than anyone would want for that matter. But I don't want this wedding to be as if I'm giving up my freedom even though that is exactly what's happening. I am giving up my freedom to be with someone I don't even love. Even though that's how a lot of arranged marriages are. She pulled out a cookie that I didn't even recognize. But nonetheless, I opened my mouth to take a bite and watched as she broke off a piece and fed it to me. The flavor exploded in my mouth and it kind of tasted of peanut butter mixed with something else. 

"What is this?" I asked before taking another bite. 

"It's peanut butter and mint chocolate chip. I know it's a weird combination but I like it. It's really... different I must say," she responded. 

I smiled. "You are right. It is something different. Just like you." 

I watched as her face began to turn a light shade of red and then she looked down, giving me a light smile. Her face gave me a look that I couldn't quite seem to read, and I began to question every little thing. What is she even thinking about? She caught my gaze set on her and her smile faded, which caused me to become just a little bit nervous. 

"What are you thinking about?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. 

She bit her lip in anticipation. Debating on whether or not she should say what's really on her mind. 

"You know you can tell me anything. I'm here to listen I won't judge I promise." 

"It's just that, well... I've had these feelings towards you for awhile and I just don't know how to tell you." 

"What feelings?" 

She shook her head. "No never mind it doesn't matter. I should go."

I watched as she stood up to get ready to leave. Reaching out an arm, my hand gently held onto her wrist, urging her to stay. She looked down at me and her eyes were full of fear. Fear from what was the question. She was safe with me and she knew that. Despite the fact that I can't defend myself properly, the palace is surrounded by guards. Regardless, she is safe with me. 

"Olivia please just sit and tell me what's wrong," I spoke softly. 

Something about me asking her to stay made her sit back down in the spot she was sitting in earlier. I let go of her wrist and then she sighed. Our eyes met and I began to wonder what it is she wanted to tell me. 

"Isabelle I-... I like you," she stammered. 

"I like you too," I told her. 

"No not that kind of like..." she whispered. 

"I know. And I'm telling you I like you as well," I reassured her. 

She looked up at me. Brown eyes boring into my green ones. I wasn't sure whether to grab her right there and kiss her, or just let her take the lead. 

"I have liked you for awhile," I continued. "I just never knew how to tell you."

"Really?" she asked followed by a sniffle. 

Tears of joy. 

"Really," I responded. 

She pulled me into a tight hug and then our eyes locked for a moment. My heart was beating rapidly, and I'm pretty sure she could hear it as well. We both slowly began to lean in and suddenly I felt her soft hands touch the side of my face, her thumb gently stroking my cheek. It was almost as if she was guiding me to do something I've been wanting to do for awhile. I leaned forward just a little bit and watched as she followed my movements. I stopped just before our lips touched. They were so close yet so far, and by now my heart was racing so fast that I was afraid I'd have a heart attack. 

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked?

"I'm sure," she replied. 

Our lips finally touched. Her breath tasted of mint from the cookie, and her lips were softer than a baby's bottom. My hands soon became tangled in her hair. I pulled her as close as I could and then the heat in my area grew stronger with every passing moment. One of her free hands began to play with my chest, grabbing one of my breasts and fondling them roughly. She flipped us over and hovered over me. Our lips pressed against each other's once again and I smiled. She slid one of her hands under my dress, hands getting closer and closer to my aching heat. One her fingers began to toy with it, causing the ache to become worse.  A small moan escaped my mouth as she then slid her tongue in. Our tongues battled for dominance until hers finally won. I wanted to take her right then and there, but I knew the timing was not right. Despite the feeling she gave me, I didn't want her to regret anything. I knew I wouldn't because I know she's the one. But I can't speak for her. When we finally pulled apart, we were both gasping for air as our eyes focused on each other. 

Suddenly my vision became blurry. Olivia began to disappear along with everything around her. I couldn't see. Everything around me turned black and then my eyes snapped open, staring at the ceiling. I was back into my bedroom. I was snapped back into reality. There was no light peeking into the room which caused me to believe that it wasn't morning yet. As I laid there thinking about my dream, I knew I wanted that dream to become a reality but instead of it ending, I want it to go further than that.  

I didn't go back to sleep. How could I after that dream? I ended up writing in my journal until sunrise. The entry was longer than normal due to the argument I had with my father. We argue a lot more lately. For these past few days I've had a lot of restless nights and I'm starting to think it's from all the wedding planning. The feelings I have for Olivia just begging to come out, and overall my future. I had never given much thought to what my future would look like. I had never given much thought to what married life would look like. Everything is just so confusing. It feels as if I'm just stuck and unsure of what to do. I have that feeling I felt when I was little and had to pick out a gown for my thirteenth birthday and there were so many endless possibilities. You only turn thirteen once and I wanted to make sure I looked gorgeous for the occasion. 

The sunlight shone brightly in the room, the rays of light beaming against the window pane. It brought some sense of warmth and I could see all the dust particles floating in the air. The kind of warmth I needed during this time of my life. Everything feels so cold and bitter. My father and I are constantly at each other's throats, my mother could possibly be dying a week from today, and I can't even tell the girl I like that I do like her. Love her for that matter. And I know I could be over exaggerating because there are people in far worse situations than I, but I just can't handle all of this. I never imagined myself being in this situation. Despite the fact that I didn't even want this wedding in the first place, I want this day to be perfect. And judging by the looks of it, it will be a total disaster.  I didn't even want to get out of bed because of the day I knew I had ahead of me. I already knew my father would want to discuss my sudden outburst yesterday during dinner yesterday. But it was something I didn't want to discuss. I know it was not like me at all, but it's something I just want to put behind me. I don't want my mother's last memory of me to be me going off of them. In all honesty, now that I have all that off of my chest, I think I'll be okay now.

Hopping out of my bed, I shuddered as I made my way into the bathroom to prepare myself for the day. After brushing my teeth, washing my face and placing my honey colored hair into a nice neat bun, I made my way into my wardrobe and picked out the first thing I saw. A white cotton dress that would trail after me as I walk. There were a row of diamonds on the waist band, and the sleeves reached my wrists. The off the shoulder neckline gave me plenty of room for accessories. An accessory such as one of my tear drop diamond necklaces that I've recieved for my birthday. I put on a pair of white flats to match since I needed a break from my heels. At least until the wedding or rehearsal. 

Making my way over to my vanity, I took a seat on the wooden stool and opened my jewelry box. I placed my necklace around my neck and the ring that constantly reminds me of the fact that my freedom is being taken away soon. A reminder than I could remember without the ring. It's all anyone talks about I swear and it is getting fairly annoying. Before this marriage was even arranged, people could find something to talk about. So why is it so hard now? 

Giving myself one more final look in the mirror, I gave myself a small smile. Even though there's so much going on right now, I have to find the positive side to all of the events going on. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel.

******* 

So I was wrong. Today was one of the least busy days for me. Probably because I'm putting everything off until Damen arrives so he'll be in for more than just a cake tasting. My father didn't speak a word to me. My mother on the other hand hasn't even left the room. I think after last night, he has decided we all need time to cool off before we talk again. It is a good idea because there is no use in fueling the fire. But I was pretty lonely the entire day. The days that I didn't spend with either Damen or Olivia always bored me to death. They were my source of entertainment but when they are not here, I was not sure what to do. Once you get used to having someone around, it just feels odd when they are not around you. I have been in the ballroom working on the wedding preparations majority of the day. Telling people where to place things and approving different items such as silverware. Whether they should use gold or silver, who should sit where and then figuring out who's going to marry us. I had told them that's a decision I want to make once my fiancé gets here. The seating chart was the biggest thing to handle since there are certain people who just can't sit next to each other or else they will start a war between their kingdoms, which would not be pretty. None of this feels real though. There is just no way I'm really getting married soon. So soon at that. It feels as all of this is a dream. No, definitely not a dream. A nightmare. A nightmare that I can't seem to wake myself up from for some odd reason. It's one of those dreams that I want to wake up from but then again I also want to know how it all ends. I want to know how the ending looks to see if all of this was worth it. Will I get my happily ever after with Olivia? Or will I be stuck having to marry Prince Damen? 

Looking down at the ballroom my hands on the railing, I watched everything come together. It gave me this anxious feeling. I don't know what to expect on Saturday. All of this is coming so fast it's making my head spin. I wasn't sure if everything would be ready by Saturday but then again, it had to be. I know the staff has been working hard to get everything prepared. I am thankful for all of them, I truly am. But I don't want any of this. Not that it matters anyways. It doesn't matter what I want. I have a kingdom I need to worry about and that should be my only focus. To serve my kingdom. I've been telling this to myself for days now. Telling myself that this isn't just for my benefit. Because if I had the choice, I would be marrying Olivia on Saturday and not Damen. If only it were possible. 

"Your highness," a male voice spoke. 

I turned around and saw Hubert standing there, holding a piece of paper that looked like he needed to give to me. 

"Here's the list of foods that will be served during the ceremony. I hope you and Prince Damen find everything to your liking." 

"Yes I will be sure to discuss this with him once I see him. Have the kitchen staff hold onto this until Monday. That's when Prince Damen will visit." 

He nodded and then bowed. I watched as he took the way to the kitchen then turned around once he disappeared. Saturday is the day. I still have things I need to take care of personally. I need to figure out how I'm going to tell Olivia I love he without scaring her away. I have to figure out how and when I am going to tell her, but I have an idea in my mind. It's not a perfect plan, but it is a possible solution to my current situation. But in the meantime, just incase I don't tell her that I love her, I have to go write my vows.