To Love A Princess

Chapter Thirteen

“Thank you so much for helping me with this,” I said with a smile. “I don’t know if I could have done this without you.” 

Everything was pretty much set and there were a few things I decided to wait till the day of the wedding to do. The balloons weren’t going to be put up until Saturday, and the doves wouldn’t be here until a few minutes before the wedding started. All the food would obviously be brought in the day of. I still have to go over the menu with Damen tomorrow. And seriously chew him out for telling Olivia about my feelings towards her. Because from now on, she’ll have the sneaking suspicion that I see her as more than the sister I never had but wish I had growing up. And that suspicion won’t go away until I prove her wrong. But I’m going to end up proving her right and say that she was right and that I’ve been lying to her face this whole time.

 The doves would be released after we say I do. And I’m starting to question whether I actually do love him. Earlier when I told Olivia I don’t have feelings for her, her reaction towards it was a little sad. Almost as if she wanted me to have feelings for her. But maybe her face fell because she thought she was right and wanted to be right. Either way, she seemed a little sad when I told her that it wasn’t true. 

“You’re welcome. I mean that’s what best friends are for right?” she asked, jokingly nudging me. 

“So we’re fine then? I mean we’re still best friends despite what happened earlier?” I questioned. 

“Isabelle, listen it’s fine. I was hoping you’d tell me I was wrong because think of how weird that would be. Hypothetically speaking, if we had mutual feelings for each other, think of the emotions we’d be feeling after the wedding. You're marrying someone that’s not me, and we’d both be miserable because all I’d want to do is be with you and that’s it. But like I said, hypothetically speaking,” she responded. 

 I could see where she was coming from and I have been thinking about that a lot. How much it would hurt both of us if we tried to be lovers and what the realistic outcome would be. Those thoughts run across my mind everyday and she doesn’t even know it. I just wish I could tell her without feeling as if I’m going to make a complete fool out of myself. As if that’ll ever happen. Every time I open my mouth to say something, I say the complete opposite of what I meant to say. 

“So I should be going now. I don’t want to get home too late and miss dinner. Shall I come back sometime before the wedding? Wednesday perhaps?” she asked. 

“That sounds like a plan. I will walk you out,” I responded. 

I led her to the palace doors and watched as her driver pulled closer to the doors. We exchanged a quick, awkward hug before she climbed in her carriage and drove away. Letting out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding, I went back inside the castle and the doors closed behind me. I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened earlier. When she said she knew she did seem disappointed that I told her I didn’t like her. But I was lying and she usually knows when I’m lying. So how come she couldn’t figure out that I was lying straight through my teeth?

*****

 My father and I both skipped out on dinner that night. My mother had something unexpected happen. She was beginning to die. And I thought she had more time. But I noticed that she wasn’t breathing properly and that her skin was starting to become cold. Doctor Owens came as quick as he could and confirmed that she does indeed have less time than he predicted. My father offered him a room at the palace so he can closely monitor her, and that he’d pay him triple for staying until she… well you know. Of course he accepted the offer and not just for the money. But because my mother is loved by everyone and he wants to help as much as he can. 

Knowing that my mother’s time is closer with each passing second makes me want to say skip the wedding and just have a private ceremony right here, right now. Damen is only three hours away at least and if his horses move fast enough he can make it here in about two hours. My mother wasn’t going to leave this Earth without seeing me get married. I may not be marrying the love of my life, but she can’t leave until I’m married. And I know it sounds selfish because she’s in a lot of pain right now, but I can’t lose her. I don’t want to lose her. Not now, not ever. When they say the death that will break you the most is your parents’ death, they are not wrong. I’d be lost without my parents. My mother because she promised she’d help guide me through this since she knows how I feel when it comes to having to adjust to a lifestyle you’re not used to. And married life is a lifestyle I’m not used to and will have to get used to without her guidance. My father because he’s my motivation to be strong. We may have many disagreements and may have very few days where we’re at peace with one another, but watching him rule a kingdom while mom is sick, and being strong when neither mom or I could is something I admire. I wish to have his strength when it’s my turn to rule. 

Doctor Owens gave her some medication and I watched as she flinched a little bit. “For the pain. Hopefully it helps. Otherwise there’s not much I can do at this time. I’ll be back a little later to check on you.” 

“Thank you,” my father and I mumbled at the same time. 

We walked over to the bed and stood on either side of her. I took her cold hand in mine and placed a kiss on her forehead. Her eyes were closed but I knew she was still conscious about what was going on around her. My own eyes were starting to water as a soft sob escaped my lips, followed by a hiccup. My father brushed loose strands of hair out of her face and placed a kiss on her cheek. I knew he wanted to cry, but he had to be strong for me. But now isn’t the time to be strong. Now’s the time to let loose and cry. 

“It’s okay to cry dad. You don’t have to be strong forever,” I spoke softly, looking at her sleeping figure. 

“Your mother and I have been together so long. I didn’t even know that our time would be cut so short. If I were given the chance to fall in love with her all over again, even though I know what’s going to happen. But she’s worth it,” he told me. 

I looked up at him and saw a tear roll down his cheek. I wanted to hug him but I’m just now getting him to open up to me. “You’d really do it all again?” 

“In a heartbeat,” he responded. “I love her so much.” 

“So that’s how you know she’s the one?” 

“When you’d give up everything to be with that person without any hesitation knowing that once you do you can’t go back? But you don’t even care because you know deep down inside of you, you know that they are worth it and they will show you that they are worth it? Yes, that’s exactly how you know. I almost ran away from home when your mother said that she couldn’t handle it. The life that I live, knowing that once she married into this family, her life wouldn’t even be hers anymore. But she didn’t give a care in the world. She was willing to give it all away just to be with me,” he explained. 

I looked at him. “You never told me that.” 

“It just never came up.”

We stayed silent for a moment and I felt her hand squeeze mine. My father must have felt it too because we both exchanged glances. No matter how much longer she has left, every moment spent with her is precious. Each moment I spend with her, I won’t remember these moments as her final moments. I’ll remember them as the moments as the moments when I got to spend more time with her.